Well I clearly have LOTS of catching up to do, huh? Where to begin?
At the beginning, I suppose. So, my dear sweet husband came to me in November-ish with a shocking declaration... "I think I'm ready to have a baby." You can imagine my excitement. Our original plan had always been to try in the Fall of this year, but now he was ready to push that up to Spring time. Score! Well, within a few weeks, as our anticipation grew, "Spring time" became "February or March". By Christmas, we were saying "What the heck are we waiting for anyway?!" ...and so it began. And less than two months later, at 6am on February 10th, I was blinking in amazement at this incredible sight...
Jaw-dropping, I tell you. I had been crampy for days, and the night before this test it had gotten noticeably worse - I just KNEW that Aunt Flo was on her way. I was, of course, not taking it so well. Ben kept reassuring me and telling me to wait and see, but I knew my body, I knew menstrual cramps, and I KNEW these were them. I was shocked to wake up the following morning (the pre-determined test day, exactly two weeks post-ovulation) with no sign of AF. And of course once I was awake, I had to go take the test - there was no falling back asleep at that point. So I went in and peed on a stick, convinced that it would be negative just like every other pregnancy test I've ever taken in my life (which is more than I care to admit, and only because I'm nuts and always think/hope that I'm pregnant). Within about 30 seconds, I could already see the second line. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. There are no words. I went back into the bedroom and fell on my knees next to Ben's side of the bed (where he was trying - to no avail - to snooze away his last few minutes before the alarm) and said "Babe, it's positive" ...to which he responded "See, I told you" ...and so we became parents-to-be!
By the time we got home from work that day, we were both beside ourselves, ear-to-ear grins, SO relieved to be together again where we could talk about what was on our minds! Those first few days were such a rollercoaster... so much excitement, disbelief, joy... such an emotional high. But at the same time, I spent the first week or two just waiting to lose the baby. Every trip to the restroom was agonizing - I just knew that the next time I went, I'd be bleeding or something. Being pregnant just introduces this whole other world of worries, and because it's all centered on something someone SO incredibly important, it's amplified a thousand times more than you'd worry about anything else in your life. And I haven't even met the kid yet. LORD help me. Actually, "Lord help me" is exactly what I've been chanting for the past... well, ever since we started trying. Being pregnant opens up your daily dialog with God, because you find yourself CONSTANTLY needing to ask Him either to protect your baby or to calm your worries (or both... usually both). It's pretty intense.
So we were at 4 weeks when we found out, and here we are at 10. Sometimes it feels like this baby has always been here, and I can't believe it was just last month that we found out we were expecting. But most of the time, it feels like time is just CRAWLING. I think maybe that's a result of all of the anxiety that comes along with the first trimester - the risk of miscarriage, the worries about your own well-being, the brand new (and terrifying) revelation that you're responsible for another human being but that most of what's going on is completely and utterly out of your control... it's a lot to take. Plus there's the exhaustion. Pure and extreme exhaustion. Waking up in the morning is a challenge to say the least, and the prospect of an entire 8-hour work day looming ahead of me is just so overwhelming, I can hardly stand it. Monday mornings are the worst - when I know that I have to do this 5 times before I get to sleep in again. It completely ruins my motivation. It's been rough.
However, on the bright side, that's really my only complaint at this point! I haven't really had any morning sickness to speak of (knock on wood). I did come down with a killer stomach virus at 6 weeks, which had me up all night vomiting and then flat on the couch for a good 3 days after that, unable to move without feeling seriously nauseated. I tried so hard to at least keep myself (and the baby) hydrated, but I really couldn't eat much if anything. I've also had one or two mornings where I had to take my prenatal vitamin (I usually take it after dinner on a full stomach, but these times I forgot and had to take it the next morning), and my stomach did NOT support that decision. Not one bit. But those are the only bouts of nausea I've had, lucky me!
Of course I'm also peeing like crazy, partly because of all the extra blood volume coursing through my kidneys, and partly because I'm trying to be good about drinking lots of water (two liters a day, I've been instructed!). I get up at least twice a night to pee, which sucks, but luckily I'm so dang tired that getting back to sleep usually isn't much of an issue. I started wearing maternity jeans last week also, because my regular pants were getting seriously uncomfy. There are still a few pairs that I can wear, as long as I leave them unbuttoned and use a hair tie to keep them closed (a trick I learned from my sister-in-law Emily... best idea ever!). That keeps them from cutting into me too much. I was used to sometimes having my pants cut into me - we all have our "bloated" days - but it suddenly becomes extra-intolerable when you're pregnant, for whatever reason! I was warned about this, and it's so true. Anyway, once I started with the maternity jeans, it became rather obvious that I was pregnant. Suddenly your pants aren't cutting you off mid-abdomen anymore (giving you that oh-so-attractive 360-degree muffin top), so your belly takes it's natural shape... which at this point, for me, is rather round. Suddenly you don't look plain "fat" anymore, you start to look pregnant. I guess since I'm short, it's happening to me earlier than average, but I'd definitely say that I'm "showing". I took at 7-week photo as a sort of "before" shot and then another at 9 weeks, and I could already see a difference. But now, at 10, it's even more pronounced. I'd take another one and post it, but I'm so comfy here on the couch under my laptop...
7 weeks... excuse the paint-splattered pants
9 weeks... Hello, bump
Unfortunately I feel like these photos do no justice to the picture I'm seeing in the mirror, but oh well. Soon enough I'll really be showing and you'll all stop laughing at me ;]
And for the record, before I go, I'd just like to note that NFP was instrumental in all of this. When I went off of the Pill we used it to postpone pregnancy (successfully, obviously) for about 7 months, and when we were ready to try, all it took was a decision. We just had to switch our charting efforts from avoiding the fertile times to targeting the fertile times, plus I had months of charting experience and had become very familiar with my cycle so we knew exactly how to time things. I also used the ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor, which is an ovulation predictor and helps you to anticipate when it's coming to help you focus your "efforts" :] It's a good thing we were using it, because as it turned out I ovulated several days earlier than usual that month, and the monitor clued us in to that so that we could get started in time. Phew! Anyway, just wanted to take a moment to plug the benefits of NFP, and to make sure that no one is attributing this to an NFP "failure" - this was entirely planned, and NFP made it so much easier to achieve!
Well, I think we've covered enough ground for one evening. There's so much more to say, of course, but we'll save it for another post on another day. That'll keep me blogging!
