Thankful... pre-Christmas Edition

Tonight, I just wanted to post a quick blurb about the things I'm thankful for (again), because I've just been reminded of several things today.

• I have a new niece coming into the world ANY MINUTE NOW. Not only is that super-exciting for someone like me, who just gets super-excited about babies, but it's a reminder of the MIRACLE that is conception and birth. Being in medical school CONSTANTLY reminds you of all the things that can go wrong - it truly is nothing short of a miracle that everything goes RIGHT so often. For me, the study of the natural sciences has been like a window into the mind of God, and a constant reminder that random happenstance simply is NOT enough to account for the glory of this creation in which we live.

• I have A SECOND new niece coming into the world in a few short months, which is another beatiful miracle waiting to happening (happening as we speak, in fact). And beyond that, these two precious little girls will always have each other, and the example of their mommies who are so close with each other. It's such a beautiful, not to mention ADORABLE scenario for two little girls to be born into. There are so many children who are born into such horrendous circumstances, and I'm just so blessed to watch the children in my family grow and thrive the way that they do.

• Over the past 6 months since I married my sweet husband, I have suddenly become so acutely aware of the way that his sisters have become my own. I've considered them "my sisters" for a long time - Ben and I have been together for 9 1/2 years now (today, in fact!) and they took me in as their own from very early on - but recently something has happened that sent me from "sisters" to sisters. No quotes. I don't know what it's like to actually have siblings, because I never did. But as best I know how, I love these girls as if they were my own sisters - because quite frankly THEY ARE. If anything ever happened between Ben and I, it simply would have NO bearing on the way I feel about them and the amount of time I spend thinking of them, talking to them, praying for them... they are my sisters. I would've KILLED for a sibling when I was growing up, and while I didn't get one then, I got something almost MORE amazing through Ben - sisters that CHOSE to be my sister. That just blows my mind, and it's something I am just so grateful for... I could never fully explain it.

• I woke up this morning to a kiss from my husband, at 4:30 in the morning as he left for work. Unpacking this little moment reveals (a) the tremendous work ethic that my husband has (he is NOT a morning person!), (b) the little things that make my days bright (like little kisses at 4:30am), (c) the fact that I'm 23 and already married to the love of my life, and never had to go searching through the heartbreak and pain that so many people endure before finding their "special someone"... I could go on. But just waking up to a husband who is on his way out the door to make a better life for me gives me goosebumps sometimes. What did I do to deserve that?

• I am currently quite toasty on this 40-degree night, sipping a nice glass of white wine, watching football on my big-screen high-def plasma TV under my cathedral cielings in my beautiful apartment with my two baby kittens wreaking havoc on my lovely christmas tree... I am so blessed with COMFORTS. I just live such a CUSHY life that it makes me wonder how I EVER complain about ANYTHING I have to do.

Anyway, I could go on but for now I just wanted to put those things down on "paper". For now I'm gonna go snuggle up in my warm bed with my warm husband (he really is a FURNACE at night) and reflect on all that I have to be thankful for :)

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas

Original post title, huh.

Anyway, I just thought I'd post some pics of our first Christmas together :) Our tree is up, our decorations are out, and we've even gotten a little bit of snow! Which is a huge improvement over last year's sorry excuse for a winter. We haven't been skiing/snowboarding in... like... 2 years! I must say that having the tree up has completely changed my study environment - it feels SO freakin' COZY in here! I just LOVE it! I'd leave it up all year long if (a) it wasn't real, and (b) it wouldn't ruin the novelty of having things feel different and special around Christmas time every year.

We did opt for a real tree this year, which actually was not a pain at all - we bought it practically across the street at Lowes (for 45 bucks - not nearly as much as I expected to pay!) and didn't have any trouble getting it inside and put up. The kittens didn't want much to do with it at first(which was actually a good thing, because now they enjoy batting at the low-lying branches and their associated ornaments - which, I might add, are shatterproof). In fact, Lewis was utterly PETRIFIED of it. He hid in our bedroom the entire first evening. He'd creep toward the doorframe, peak around the corner very slowly, catch sight of the tree in the corner and BOLT back into the room. Every time I tried to pick him up and walk him out of the room, as soon as he saw the tree even out of the corner of his eye, he'd start freaking out and leap out of my arms! It was pretty funny. We let them sleep in our bedroom that night so that Lewis wouldn't be trapped out in the rest of the apartment with the giant Christmas Monster. But miraculously, by the next morning he was sitting underneath it and batting at it. Who knows.

Our first ever Christmas tree! We've taken a little off the top since this photo, so the star doesn't stick up quite so high anymore :)

Christmas kitten! Eddie sitting behind me on the couch next to the tree. He's napping now - which would be a much cuter picture but you've probably seen enough pictures of Eddie napping for one lifetime!

Little Lewie, looking festive on the tree skirt!

Our first snow! It was gone by the next morning, but it was pretty while it lasted!

The kittens checking out the white stuff - they've never seen it before!

So, good times at the Bonner house (er, apartment)! We've got a busy weekend ahead filled with fun stuff. The Knapsteins are having a party for everyone who was in Sam & Todd's wedding on Friday, and a party at the Knapsteins is always a great time! Holiday Open House at Mark & Susan's on Saturday - we haven't seen their new house yet, plus Ron & Jeanne and Tom & Amy will also be there! Later that evening we're heading to my Mom & step-dad's to watch the UFC fight (Ben is WAYYYY into UFC these days, if I haven't mentioned that!). Sunday we'll be going to church and attending a 3-hour "Welcome" class - we started going to a new church a few weeks ago and we really like it so far! It's HUGE, which I've actually grown to love in a church - worshipping in a huge crowd like that is really an entirely different and amazing and moving experience. It also allows a certain amount of annonymity, as opposed to a smaller church where "everyone knows everyone". No one really notices when you miss a week, you can be as involved or uninvolved as you want to be, you don't stick out like a sore thumb when you're new or haven't been there in a while... it's really nice. Not that I want to be someone who slips in and out of church without ever saying a word to anyone or ever participating in anything, but it's so nice to be able to do whatever you need or want to do without feeling judged. Churches can feel very judgemental and gossipy (though they really should be the LAST place you'd find those things), and the smaller they get, the worse those things get. This particular church is also very contemporary (everyone is wearing Ravens jerseys and jeans on Sundays, the music is the stuff you'd hear on modern Christian radio, everything is all high-tech) which is obviously appealing to us "younger generation" folk. It's about 15 minutes up 95 from us which is quite convenient, AND they have a 9:50 service which isn't too early to get up for, but still puts us out by 11 - it feels like we still have the whole day ahead of us to get done whatever we need to do! And most importantly, we are so far very impressed with the messages and with the Pastor - it's all very applicable to life and REAL, and in line with my own theological beliefs. My godparents and my uncle and his wife go there too, which is nice. We don't see them that often since it's so big, but it's nice to have someone to meet up with or to help us get plugged into things we're interested in. So anyway, we're definitely making it our "church home".

Well, I suppose that's all I have to say for now! I'll get back to watching Old School with my husband :)

"Why did you let him do that?!?!"

Random topic of the week: How is it that women claim to "let" or "not let" their husbands/boyfriends do X, Y or Z?

This just came to me a few minutes ago as I was thinking about our engagement pictures. Many people have asked me "Why did you LET him grow that beard"? In fact, people ask me similar questions about a lot of things regarding my husband's behavior. He's a wild man, to say the least. "Why did you LET him get a snake?" "Why did you LET him bring his snake with you when you got married?" etc. etc. My question to those people is always, "what was I supposed to do?". Now, that may make me sound pitiful or powerless or something, but that's not how I feel at all. And let me add that if you've ever asked me a question like this in a joking manner, this rant is NOT directed at you - it really isn't. But people have seriously questioned me like this, and that's what disturbs me.

Anyway, my REAL question to those people is, "What was I supposed to do? Withhold sex? Stop cooking? Give him some sort of death-stare? Make demands? Yell and cry? etc. etc." Let's look at this realistically. Any one of those options is ultimately going to end badly, no matter how you slice it. Whether it takes years for the resentment to build (in the case of death-stares or withholding things) or the result is more immediate (yelling and crying and making demands is almost invariably going to lead to a sizable argument, or it will cause him to suppress his feelings to keep the peace, which will also build over time), you're leading yourself into a very negative scenario. No matter how you look at it, you're wielding your "wifely powers" over your husband, the person you're supposed to love and nurture as long as you both shall live, to get your way. You're threatening to remove the peace from his home life (by making it clear that you're going to BE angry and STAY angry), withhold the physical love that he can ONLY get from YOU, withhold the loving gestures of caring that you've promised him (like cooking for him or whatever else)... and over what?

This is where picking battles comes in. If I'm faced with a situation where I'd like to "not allow" him to do something he wants to do, I'd better be VERY SURE that it's worth it. And in my humble opinion, there is VERY LITTLE in this world that would really drive me to do that to our relationship. A snake in a cage upstairs out of my sight most of the time? Not worth it. A beard on his face? Who gives a crap. And there are so many other things that people have commented on to me... "I'd never "let" my (husband/wife) do that" or "buy that" or whatever. Short of something that's going to bankrupt us or injure someone, or be morally incompatible with our beliefs, what is really worth it?

I married a wild man. He is strong-willed. He is stubborn. He quite often gets himeslf into a one-track frame of mind. He says and does crazy things that many other people would be far too embarassed to do or say (I guess I'm trying to say... he has no shame!). He quite often acts like an over-grown kid. But because he is also such a GOOD person inside his heart, those traits make him an incredible husband. He's strong-willed and stubborn about doing the dishes - he will physically pick me up and carry me away from the sink if I try to do them after I've cooked for him. He has a serious one-track mind when it comes to women - he has been a one-woman-man for 9 1/2 of the most formative years of his life, when temptation was at its highest and the world was telling him he was crazy for sticking with me. He also has a one-track mind about work - despite being the exact opposite of a "morning person", he will get up at 4:30am to go in to work early and make overtime money to provide for us - without my prompting and without a single complaint. The crazy things he says and does can make ANYONE ANYWHERE laugh til they cry no matter what kind of day they're having and no matter how brief the encounter may be. Because he's still SUCH a fun-loving kid at heart, his children are going to absolutely ADORE him - his nieces and nephews already do.

So while those traits can be negative at times, they are such an integral part of who he is and why I love him so much - I wouldn't be doing a very good job of loving him if I tried to beat them out of him. 25 years from now, I'd wake up and realize I was married to someone else entirely, and our relationship would have grown completely cold. And I quite honestly can't remember in our 9 1/2 years a single time where he tried to disallow me to do anything. Ever. I may not always see the value in whatever it is that he wants to do or buy or whatever, but I don't HAVE TO. This isn't about what I want and what I understand and what I deem to be valuable or worthwhile. First of all, marriage is a partnership that is supposed to be life-long, and it will never last a lifetime if one partner feels completely stifled and unable to have or do the things that make him or her happy. And second of all, like this fact or not, God requires me as a Christian woman to allow my husband to be the head of our household. That doesn't mean he gets free reign to do whatever he pleases, because it's still a partnership, but it means that at the end of the day, when we've hashed it all out and we're still at an impasse, I will step aside and let my husband lead us in the direction that he believes is best, no matter how piddly the issue may seem. I will TRUST HIM to do that, because I TRUST GOD to lead my husband in his God-given role.

So, on that note, rant complete. I hope it will be valuable to someone other than myself, but even if it isn't, it helps me to remind myself of that every so often.

Thankful

This isn't a rambling post, this is a post with a purpose. I just want to take a moment to express somewhere in writing all the things that I'm thankful for this season. It's for my own benefit really (and inspired by my thankful sister-in-law Emily) - I hope I'll refer back to it on occasion throughout the holidays and remind myself of all that I've been blessed with. So, here goes (in no particular order)...

• My happy marriage and my selfless husband (who is doing the dishes as we speak). And the fact that he supports my commitment to becoming a doctor and all of the extra work that entails for him in providing for our life together.
• My warm, well-decorated, SAFE apartment. I still don't know how we pay the rent every month, but somehow it always works out.
• The fact that "it always works out".
• My healthy, happy, adorable kittens. A small thing, but being a woman of child-bearing age who can't have children at the moment, I simply love to love them and care for them :)
• Growing up with the most loving, supportive family a kid could ask for, who always did their best to afford me every opportunity under the sun.
• The health and overall happiness of my family.
• The most loving, accepting in-law family a girl could ask for!
• Two healthy babies that are about to join our family - baby girl Villard due 12/27 and baby (???... we'll find out Friday!) Beck due 4/19.
• The fact that I was born in the richest, free-est country on the planet. I could just as easily have been born in an aluminum hut in Africa, and I never would've known the comforts that I enjoy daily.
• Having had 18 years with my wonderful great-grandmother. Most people can't say that.
• All of the PEOPLE in my life who have made my experience what it is, from friends and family to pastors, coaches, teachers, doctors, even the vendors from our wedding! It's the people you interact with and the relationships you cultivate that make your life feel "full", and I've been blessed with some WONDERFUL people in my life.
• Last but not least, I am so thankful for this incredible opportunity to become a doctor. This is no small thing, and I try to remind myself frequently what a privelage it truly is to be trusted with human lives. Blows my mind.

I hope that no matter what is going on in your life today, you can stop and take a moment to recount all of the many ways in which you too have been blessed in this life. I've certainly caught myself, on MORE THAN ONE occasion, complaining to God in my head and asking "why me?" about some petty thing that's bothering me, and counting blessings has always proven (time and time again) to be the best remedy. Give it a try. You won't be able to feel sorry for yourself for very long!

Happy Thanksgiving :)

All Grown Up

I feel so grown up now... we have two "nice" cars! This weekend was almost completely monopolized by the car purchase, but it's finally taken care of and we brought the Accord home yesterday :) AND it just so happens that Ben's friend Ray sold his truck on Saturday, so he's buying the Cavalier today! Perfect timing! So that really helped out - it took care of the tax, tags and title on the Accord plus some. We went out to Taneytown Tag & Title (aka the Nationwide Insurance office of Taneytown... weird) and met Tom after work yesterday to sign the title, pay our tax and get Maryland tags for the Accord, and then we had to drive Tom home because his wife Amy couldn't leave work in time to go with him, so we hung out and had dinner with them at their house in Fairfield, PA. So, you know, it was only an hour and a half drive home. But it was worth it of course.

Ben is very happy with his new wheels, and I am very happy with mine :) Although now I feel like he drives the mom-car and I drive the hard-ass car - I'm in the V8 Jeep SUV and he's in the 4-cylinder Honda sedan! But he's SO thrilled to be driving a manual again, he doesn't really care if he drives a car that would look better with a car seat in the back. Heheeheeeee... it's all part of my evil plan to make him a dad ;) But anyway, it is VERY nice and comfortable inside - it's fully loaded with leather and heated seats and a nice stereo and all that, and it's been kept completely immaculate (Tom bought it new, and he's quite compulsive about keeping things clean and well-maintained) so it really is a very NICE car. I'd love to be driving it, but I'm just not that into driving a stick. I don't need something extra to focus on while driving... I just want to put it in drive and go. Ben says it's very easy to drive so hopefully I won't have any problems physically operating the vehicle when it's necessary, but I'm pretty certain I don't want to make it my every-day driver. I think Ben is torn between wanting to drive the stick and wanting to have the V8 power, so he probably wouldn't care if I did decide I wanted to drive the Accord. At the end of the day, I don't really care about what I drive - I've been driving a piece of junk since I was 16 and it never bothered me (although when I first got it, boy did I love that thing!). I know Ben cares more about what he's driving, so I don't mind letting him be the one to be picky about his car. HOWEVER, when I finally get my first paycheck as an attending physician, guess who's bee-lining straight to the Lexus dealer to pick out her RX330?!?! Or WHATEVER car she darn well pleases?!?! That's right - THIS GIRL. But for these next 7 or 8 years, let's just hope these two cars hold out for us :)

Update

Quick update on the auto-saga...

Apparently the credit union doesn't think we make enough money for TWO auto loans (HA... they don't have to tell ME that!), so we had to get my dad to co-sign. Soooo we're waiting on approval again til tomorrow. HOWEVER, the good news is that Tom is NOT trading it in, so we're definitely buying it as long as it passes inspection on Monday. Which shouldn't be a problem since he just had a bunch of maintenance work done and it's only 4 years old anyway. So all that's left is the official loan approval, the official inspection-passage, and a bunch of running back and forth with checks and titles and tags and such.

Don't you love how I air all my personal financial information on the internet? That's how bored I am.

Another new car...

This is your sign that I suddenly have far more free time than any medical student should have - I've updated my blog layout :) I really do have stuff to do, but it seems so trivial and unnecessary that I'm having a hard time actually doing it. Especially when TLC is playing two episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress" this hour (my newest television addiction). It's stuff that I could probably write the answer key for, but I feel like I should do it for the sake of saying I did it. And that's not because I'm super-smart or something, it's just because this course is designed to catch up the people who have never had a biochem or advanced genetics course in their life, and I spent the last two years of college taking advanced biochemistry and genetics courses and doing genetics research because of my major. So I'm finally getting some return on the course work I did in undergrad that wasn't necessary for admission to medical school - HA! I win! My fear is that I won't take it seriously enough and come test time, I'll be S.O.L. So that's why I'm trying to keep up with the work, even if it doesn't seem necessary.

As a quick aside, is anyone else getting really tired of the fact that EVERY family with more than 6 children now has a reality TV show?!?! Holy crap. Table for 12. Jon & Kate + 8. 18 Kids and Counting. Has anyone considered the CHILDREN?!?! Ugh I find it incredibly irresponsible and irritating. Almost despicable.

Mooooooooving on. We went to the credit union this morning and applied for another auto loan. We're in the process of trying to replace my Cavalier, as I mentioned before. We were trying to wait til we could pay off one of Ben's tool bills, but we got a call from Tom (the owner of the Accord) yesterday saying they had found the car they wanted to buy and were going to go to the dealership tomorrow (which is now TODAY) to see what kind of trade-in deal they could get on the Accord. Hmm. Note sure why they're suddenly trying to trade it in, because we thought we were very clear about our intent to buy it after they offered to sell it to us, but apparently they now want to see if they can get more for it at the dealership :( So we decided to go ahead and go for the loan approval so that we can make it as simple and smooth a process for them as possible to encourage them to sell it to us (as opposed to them coming to us and saying "the dealership is ready to take it now, they'll give us a few hundred more dollars for it..." etc., and then we have to say "wait wait, let us try and get the loan, hang on for a few more days...").

So, we're waiting to hear back on the approval, which should come thorugh before the end of the day today. IF we get approved, that is. We already have one auto loan through them, and we're only operating on one income, so I'm a little nervous about it. And of course, at the end of the day we may not even be getting the Accord if Tom decides to trade it in. Which, I won't lie, would be a little upsetting after we've spent the past few weeks talking to him about it and trying to figure out the details so we could buy it. We've got a buyer lined up for the Cavalier (Ben's friend Ray) to help us pay for the Accord, we've got the loan process rolling... it's gonna be a giant let-down if this doesn't work out. Especially for Ben. We fought about doing this in the beginning - I really didn't want to replace the car yet and he really didn't want to let the Accord deal pass us by - and we finally found a common ground on it and started working on making it happen, only to be shot down at the last second? I hope not. After the experience we had with the Jeep we just bought, I really don't feel super-psyched to go out and try to buy another used car from someone we don't know. In the end, it's just such a crap shoot - you just never know what they're hiding from you. It's sad to have to be so skeptical and cynical, but with car sales, I guess that's just being realistic. I'm about to go buy a brand new cheap car - some kind of Kia or something - just to have a warranty and someone to take it back to when shi* ain't right! Ugh.

So stay tuned for an update, hopefully later today, on the new car saga.

10 crazy weeks!

Hoooooooooly smokes. It's been an awful long time! I'm sure you all understand that spare time has just been VERY hard to come by in these first 10 weeks of medical school. And you eventually get to the point where so much has happened since your last post that trying to "update" your blog just seems far too overwhelming. So I won't try to do a true "update", because that would take days. Here are the highlights:

• Anatomy is OVERRRRRRRR!!! It was the most challenging course I've ever taken (which was duely reflected in my grade, of course). I know that there was room for improvement in my study habits, but I was able to maintain a much more fulfilling "life outside of school" than some of my super-stressed, crazy classmates, which is an accomplishment that I'm actually quite proud of. And I did pass, so it's all good :)

• No more cadaver dissection!!! I'm pretty darn psyched about that, I'll admit! It was fun in the beginning, and definitely a huge learning aid, but about halfway through the novelty wore off and then it was just... not so fun. We got together as a class at one of our classmate's parents' houses in Westminster and ceremonially burned our anatomy lab scrubs in a giant bonfire, which was incredibly satisfying (photos below)! All that said, let me add the disclaimer that the sacrifice made by those that donated their bodies as well as their families is something I'll be eternally grateful for - it's no small thing to willingly subject your body to that, and no small thing to put off laying your loved one to rest for months on end for the benefit of others. There's actually a service held for them once a year that I'll definitely make an effort to go to.

• Ben's old Jeep crapped out, we bought a new Jeep, it's passenger-side front wheel snapped off within two months of buying it, the dealership wouldn't budge on paying for it, so we had to go to a different dealership and use our insurance to have it fixed. $3600 in damage. I just thank the good Lord that it happened while Ben was pulling into a parking space and not while we was doing 75 mph on 95 (which constitutes about 80% of his daily commute). We have it back now, and I'm currently the principal driver on it, because...

• We've made the decision to replace my 13-year-old, 140,000-mile piece of junk, and Ben's friend Tom has offered us a GREAT deal on his 2006 Honda Accord. The only catch being that it's a stick-shift, and while I'm capable of driving a stick, I don't particularly WANT to given the amount of city driving I do (not to mention the parking garages. ACK!). So it's looking like I'm going to take over the Jeep and Ben will be driving the Accord. We have to finish paying off the tail end of one of his tool bills (from when he was a mechanic oh-so-many years ago) before we can take on the new car payment, but that'll be paid off around Christmas time. I'm so excited to finally have TWO cars that we can actually rely on, for a change. Granted, shi* happens, but at least I know that giant repairs will be LESS LIKELY to pop up on us.

• The kitties are 6 months old! They're getting so big :'( I want them to stay little forever! They're into everything, jumping up on everything, driving Ben up the wall... I'm definitely the patient one. Which isn't AT ALL surprising if you know my husband. Patience isn't exactly his middle name. But we love them :)

• I have TWO new nieces/nephews on the way! Most of you probably already know this, but it's an exciting update nonetheless. Em and I just had a shower for Amberly, which was highly successful and tons of fun. Her baby girl is due December 27th :) I'm just SO freaking excited to meet her! We haven't had a new little girl in the family for, well, 10 years now (as I choke on the words... I can't believe Lacy is 10!!!), so I've almost forgotten what little girls are like! Em is 17 weeks along now, and just *barely* starting to look the part, which is just ADORABLE :) Baby Beck is due April 19th. Their next sonogram is December 4th, when they'll find out whether we're having a niece or a nephew. I'm feeling pretty strongly that it's a girl though. We shall see! I'm so incredibly happy for both of them. And I'm so thankful that I have them around to live vicariously through them whilst I await the day when my husband finally feels "ready". Not that I'd have a baby tomorrow if he were "ready", but that's only because my logical brain knows that now isn't exactly the *best* time. But that's a topic for another blog on another day...

• I've been doing some shadowing lately, in the Emergency Department and in Shock Trauma, and I'm definitely confirming my interest in Emergency medicine! I just LOVE it so much. For so many reasons. I'm currently working on setting up some pediatrics shadowing because I do want to explore that too. And I'd also love to do some OB/GYN shadowing. I KNOW I'd love obstetrics, but I don't know that I'd love the schedule and the extensive training. So I'm not so sure about all that, but I want to get on the inside of it and see what it's really like. Oh how I love all things clinical :) Oh, speaking of which, I also got my white coat after finishing anatomy! Very exciting. So I'm feeling more "official" these days :)

I think that's the main thrust of what's been going on in my life these days. I'm now beginning a new class that is so far proving to be a HUGE relief - it's Cell and Molecular Biology, which is essentially what I majored in. I feel SO much more "at home" in this course so far. It's all familiar, so studying is more a matter of reviewing as opposed to cramming new information into my brain. It's pretty darn fabulous, I won't lie :) And neither lecture nor small group are "required" as far as attendance goes, so on most days there's no reason why I HAVE to go in to school. That could be dangerous for a slacker like myself ;) But I really am feeling more motivated this time around.

So, long story short, I *may* be able to blog on a more regular basis during this class, so stay tuned :) Now, for a brief photo tour.

Amberly at 33 weeks, with her beautiful new bassinet at her "surprise" shower ;)

My prize for completing anatomy... my first ever white coat :)

SCRUB BURNING!!! So satisfying :)

My little squiddy-pants, 6 months old! Sorry I don't have a recent pic of Lewis on this computer.

Pre-Exam Weekend

I'm taking a little break to do something "therapeutic". Well, taking a break til tomorrow - I'm done for the night. A person can only study for so long in a day. I'm probably very weak in that respect, in that I really don't have a high tolerance for studying. I never have. I'm afraid that I may have reached an educational level where I'll finally start paying for that weakness. Ugh. I did study for about 9 hours today, but i definitely took a few breaks in there. Oh well, I can only ask so much of myself. Anyway, enough with the rationalizations.

So, my first exam is Monday. It's a day-long affair - 2-hour written exam in the morning, 2-hour dry practical after lunch and 2-hour wet practical after that. The "wet" practical is identifying tagged structures in the cadavers, and the "dry" practical is identifying structures and their functions/origins/relationships/etc on computer-based slides. Waaaa-hooooo. The exam content is based on three weeks worth of lectures and labs, which quite honestly feels like nearly two months' worth. But for now I'm just thanking my lucky starts that they give us exams as frequently as they do, because any more material than this would be downright unbearable. I was finally starting to find some kind of rhythm and balance to my new life as a medical student, and this exam is just really throwing a wrench into things!

But, all in all it really hasn't been too bad. I get up around 8, drink some coffee, watch some lame TV, maybe review the day's lecture notes/powerpoints (posted ahead of time), and leave for lab by 9:15 (I've been trying out the idea of skipping morning lecture in favor of more sleep and then working through the lecture recordings after lab at my own pace). I usually get home between 12:30 and 1:00, I have time to run a few errands if necessary, watch an episode of Las Vegas (TNT at noon and 1:00 every day!), have some lunch, fool around on Facebook a little, and then watch/study the lectures from that morning. Sometimes it runs over into the evening if the lectures are particularly complex, but there are many days where I'm done by the time Ben gets home from work! Pretty sweet life, I have to say. I know it won't stay like this forever, but for now it's made for a relatively easy transition and I definitely appreciate that!

Once the exam is over, the second-years have arranged a post-exam party for us down in Federal Hill, so I'll probably drag Ben to that (it's a reason for him to celebrate too - he can finally have his wife back!). I'm looking forward to a few fun school-related things next week too - a meeting with one of our career counseling Deans who happens to be an Emergency Medicine physician, a dinner with the Pediatrics Interest Group at a professor/pediatrician's house, an info session on the MD/MPP program with UMBC (masters in public policy - seriously entertaining the idea!), and my first ICM (intro to clinical medicine) small group meeting where I believe we'll be learning how to use out stethoscopes and blood pressure cuffs and fun stuff like that :) So between all the fun stuff and the exam being over, it should be a good week! And next weekend we're having crabs with all of Ben's siblings - the icing on an already fabulous cake!

So that about sums up my life these days. The kittens are still alive (though they have developed a healthy fear of the spray bottle), the apartment is still standing, we're still married... it's all good :)

HOLY SMOKES it's been a while

This may be a new record - two weeks between posts. I do apologize, but my life has changed quite a bit and blogging has become a much smaller part of it!

So the biggest change has been school. I do LOVE school. I really love it. It's the material I've been wanting to learn all along, without all the B.S. I don't care about (for the most part). Even the stuff I don't like studying is still stuff I "care" about, I just don't enjoy trying to learn it ;) Like tissue types, for instance. But the anatomy and embryology stuff has been really cool. Cadaver dissection has been by far the greatest lab experience of my life. Every structure you see sticks in your brain that much better because you're seeing it on a real live person, and just the act of dissecting it is something you don't forget, which makes it that much easier to remember the structures along the way. Sometimes it feels like I really can't control what my mind deems "worth" remembering, but apparently it has decided that cadaver lab is definitely worth the brain space because I seem to remember everything from lab very well. We have some GREAT instructors in the lab (there are at least 8 or 10 of them milling around every day) that are just excellent teachers, and the main course director who teaches many of our lectures is also AWESOME - he's been teaching the course for 15 or 20 years so he's definitely got it down to a science and he's just very good at relaying the important information. There are several other instructors who also give lectures, depending on their specialty, and they vary in their teaching abilities, but we haven't had any "bad" ones at all. Today we had a "clinical correlations" lecture - they intersperse these throughout the anatomy lectures to remind us why we're learning this stuff - from an orthopaedic trauma surgeon. Really cool. He focuses on the spine so we got to hear stories and see images from several different cases and a 2 minute clip of a microdiscectomy (removal of a herniated disc via a very small opening in the spinal column). The cases ranged from a motocross accident (broke the column clean through and severed the spinal cord - paraplegic) to breast cancer metastasis to the spine, to tuberculosis infection in the spinal column, to staph infection in the spine from dirty needles in a heroin-addicted patient. Crazy and very cool :)

We have our first exam on Monday the 12th, so I have one more week's worth of lectures after this one to cram into my brain before I have to spit it all back out. And next week is short because of labor day! YAY! Every lecture in med school seems like about 3 or 4 lecture's worth of material in undergrad, so it's definitely been an adjustment. It's much more like a full-time job than college was. I go to class 8-10, lab 10-12, lunch when I get home, and then study til ben gets home around 5 or 6, then have dinner, and then usually study a LITTLE more before bed. Of course there are little distractions along the way - I don't literally study solidly for all those hours (I'm usually forced to take at least a 45-minute nap somewhere in there when I can't keep my eyes open anymore!). But it's definitely a lot of work! Just trying to figure out the best way to study is my biggest source of stress right now. I'm just afraid I'll get behind if I don't figure it out soon, and I probably won't really know how well my current methods are working til the first exam but I don't want to bomb it in the meantime! Ugh we'll see. I don't really feel like I'm doing a very good job at the moment, I'm just not sure where to go from here.

The kitties are doing well :) Cute as ever, and growing little by little! We just love them to pieces. I'm SO glad we brought both of them home! They still can't seem to behave enough to let them sleep in the bedroom with us (I invariably wake up to Eddie pouncing on my toes or Lewis purring 2 centimeters from my face, or sitting on my head or something ridiculous like that!). But they've started using the kitty beds that we got them, which makes me very happy - it felt like a pretty giant waste of money initially when they weren't even remotely interested in them ;) Here's an updated photo...
I also got a new haircut today (and a little color as well)! I've been wanting to do this for almost a year now, but I got engaged and had to let my hair grow for the wedding, and then we decided we wanted to do a re-shoot after the wedding so I had to leave it long for that. We finally did our re-shoot last week (here's a link to some of my favs! they turned out so well! http://picasaweb.google.com/jenna.bonner529/DayAfterSession?feat=directlink) so I decided I could finally treat myself to a much needed hair appointment. It's shorter in the back and longer in the front, and it's dark brown with a reddish tint. The back is actually shorter than I've EVER had my hair I think, so it was a big step for me but I'm VERY happy with it :)

Maybe next time I'll go a tad shorter in the back to get more height out of it, but I was a little nervous this time around!

Yesterday was Ben's 25th birthday, so I gave him his wedge set that I got about a month ago but made him wait for (for you non-golfers, it's a set of three special clubs that they use for chipping the ball onto the green when it's too far to put and too close to use an iron), a license plate frame that says "I'd rather be driving a Titleist" (we saw that on the road one day and he thought it was just the coolest thing he'd ever seen so I made a mental note and found it online later - he was thrilled), a DuClaw Misfit Red t-shirt (his favorite DuClaw beer), and I took his "growler" (big 2-liter container for holding lots of beer) to DuClaw and had it filled with Misfit Red for him. And made his mom's meatloaf recipe :) It turned out alright. I think it needed more ketchup. ANYWAY, I'm having a party for him this weekend so we're having a bunch of friends over, which should be TONS of fun. Except for the fact that we're a little poor (ok, A LOT poor), but I made it BYOB to help with that aspect of it ;) We actually went out for dinner last Friday with his sisters and their husbands for his birthday, and his mom had a cookout for him this past Sunday, so we're really dragging this thing out! But he's a pretty great guy so I suppose it's worth it ;)

Speaking of the birthday boy, he's finishing up cleaning up in the kitchen (he always does the dishes when I cook because he's wonderful like that!) and is hell-bent on playing one of his new Wii games tonight (last night it was Wii sports resort, from which his arms and shoulders are now sore today... lol) - Tiger Woods Golf 10. It's gonna be a long evening, I can see it now ;) Wish I could update you even MORE, but he really wants me to play. Later kids!

100

It's my hundredth post! Wow! Too bad it's not gonna be anything long, exciting or profound. Just a little update.

So... I've had a few more days of school, and it's still great! Our second-years have been awesome - I went out on Friday night to one of the zillion events they planned for us and had a blast meeting people! Today we were matched up with our "big siblings" (basically a second-year buddy to give us the inside scoop on how to survive!), and mine is a SUPER sweet girl named Christina. I think we're going to get along marvelously. And she's already offered to give me whatever textbooks I decide I need as I get started with "real" classes (next week) - at least the ones I don't want to buy to have long-term. SWEET! That'll save me some serious money. We've already been told by many second years that most of the "required" texts are unnecessary, if not completely useless, so I'm gonna try to save some money there. We also had reps from Welch Allyn and 3M Littman give a presentation today on medical equipment that we're supposed to buy (stethoscope, oto- and ophthalmoscopes, blood pressure cuffs, reflex hammers, etc). THAT was a nice big slap in the face. Especially considering they haven't given us our financial aid money! It's over half way through the month and our budget was supposed to include this month! Grr. $650 of our included budget is set aside for equipment, but even if I bought all mid-grade to crappy stuff, I'd still be spending nearly $800. I'm at least getting a nice stethoscope. And the second years are all telling us we won't even pick up the other stuff once all year, but do I really want to be the jerk who goes in to do a physical and has to come back out of the room to borrow someone's otoscope (the light/magnifier that docs use to look into your ears)? PROBABLY not. But the oto/ophthalmoscope set is like $360 at the cheapest (which is a AA battery powered piece of junk, more or less). I don't know... I'm gonna have to feel this out a little more.

I've had a few cool lectures, particularly today - one on CRAZY new radiology teachnologies, one on robotic cardiac surgery... good stuff. I think they're trying to ease us into the endless onslaught of information by giving us some "fun" lectures first. How nice of them ;) They REALLY do seem to care a lot about student well-being, I have to say. So much of our orientation has been directed toward making sure we're aware of all the resources available to help us de-stress, keep up, do better on exams, keep a decent social life, manage our time... I feel very lucky to be at a school that gives a crap about our quality of life (as opposed to "that other medical institution across town" as it's affectionately referred to by our professors... lol). And I'm learning so much about the areas in which our school and our medical center are leading the country (and in some cases even the world), which is cool and encouraging and exciting :) They also sent us on a Duck Tour of the city yesterday (those boat/bus-looking things that cruise the streets carrying tourists with quacking whistles - they drive on land and right into the water where they act as boats and carry you around the harbor). That was pretty cool and I actually learned a lot about Baltimore that I didn't know!

Tomorrow I actually have a full day of ICM (lectures and small group) so it'll be much more like a "regular day" of class. And by "full day" I mean 8-12 :) We're talking about health issues around the world, medical ethics... fun topics like that (and I'm not being sarcastic - I like that stuff! I could definitely see an MPH (master of public health) in my future if it weren't for having to take out an extra year's worth of loans). I actually am seriously considering taking some health poilcy classes at our Law school (across the street). a) I'm really interested in health policy, and b) it'll get me some elective credit to give me either more flexibility or time off during 4th year. We shall see. Anyway, about this post not being long... I'd better go. I suggested we get in bed and fall asleep watching TV early tonight (which we always said we'd do, but really haven't done much), and now my poor hubby is in there waiting for me. Later kids!

Becoming A Doctor: Day One

I'm official ;) I have an ID card and everything. My name was on all the lists. No one looked at me like I had 10 heads and said "What's your name again? I don't see you listed here." They're really gonna let ME take a stab at being a doctor! Lame and corny as it sounds, I found myself feeling so honored all day, just to be there. Hearing professors and Deans (all doctors themselves) give speeches about how special we are and how accomplished we are and how proud they are to have us, and then realizing that I was included in that group... it was pretty crazy. Hearing them refer to us as "student-doctors" and discuss how we should go about assimilating the role of "doctor", what patients will expect of us when we walk into a room... all very surreal. Amazing, actually. And for as hot as it was, as sweaty as I got in my "professional attire", as long as I waited in line for my student ID, as badly as my poor feet hurt, as SOAKED as I got running three city blocks in my heels (with incredibly sore feet) when it started DUMPING rain on me (and my school bag and my new laptop bag) as soon as I left the building to head for the parking garage... as bad as all those things kinda sucked, it was a GREAT day!

I got to meet TONS of fabulous people, many of whom I can definitely see myself becoming close friends with. I found out that there are about 8 or 10 other married students in my class (which made me feel a LITTLE less like a dork being an "old married person" in a room full of 160 20-somethings), they fed us an AMAZING lunch, we got fitted for our white coats... many good things happened today! And the sohpomore class student council has social events planned for us all around Baltimore every night until next Friday (except this Sunday). That made us feel quite loved :) And tomorrow we're out at noon (which more closely approximates a normal class day at my fantastic medical school)! Although I do have to go in very early tomorrow and camp out outside the parking office to compete for one of 200 BioPark parking permits available for students. I have three parking options: Lexington garage rooftop for $33/month (Perfect!FULL). Lexington Garage for $5/day ($100/month, and first-come first-served, and a decent walk to my class building... PWNED). BioPark garage for $100/semester, guaranteed space, with a shuttle over to my class building (sounds like a plan!). So yeah, for that deal I'll get up early and go fight for a permit! We actually have a few "real" lectures tomorrow for ICM (Introduction to Clinical Medicine). ICM is a year-long course that consists of lectures and patient visits and such, sprinkled throughout the basic curriculum (so it's not a class that meets regularly). All 160 of us have the same schedule every day - there are no different courses to register for or various sections of courses, we're all together all the time. And we only have one course at a time, which means only one exam at a time and only one set of material to learn at a time (and I'm ALL FOR THAT). It's really one of the best systems I've seen in my travels to various medical schools - I don't know why everyone doesn't do it this way! I think there's a lot of pressure on schools to make it extra difficult (like the material itself doesn't take care of that!), like medical school is a rite of passage that should be as miserable as possible (this same sentiment seems to be pervasive in residency programs as well). I'm really glad that the powers that be at my school seem to have gotten over that, and it apparently occurred to someone, somewhere along the line, that we might produce better doctors by making the learning process simpler and more efficient. Who knew?!?!

So I think that's it for me today. I've been sorely neglecting the football watching that I should be doing right now. GO RAVENS!!! There are FAR too many Redskins fans amongst my new classmates for them to lose tonight... I can't handle that.

Since I'm starting school in two days, I figured I'd better get a blog post or two in this week - who knows what'll happen after that! On Friday we enjoyed an evening with the Schenks, in celebration of their last few months in their fabulous house. Ron and Ben built a fire in the fire pit and we drank wine (and/or beer) and told stories and laughed all evening - it was a perfectly relaxing evening ;) Saturday was spent sleeping in, cleaning up around the house a bit, watching a movie, and then heading up to PA to hang out with some of Ben's work friends and the wives. It was the perfect crew of people, and we again had a BLAST just sitting around enjoying a few beers, bitching about work (and/or our husbands deserving raises...), telling stories and laughing. Long night though! Sunday we got up and headed down to E-burg for Lacy's 10th birthday party, which was quite the celebration! The kids (plus Ben and Chris) had a giant water balloon battle outside, we ate TONS of food (as is customary ANY time we gather at Ben's mom's), and we caught up on everyone's summer trips and vacations and goings-on.

Then it was on to the INCUBUS concert! I have to say, when we arrived I wasn't really in the mood for a concert. The crowd, the drunken teenagers, the battle to get back OUT of the parking lot, etc. We arrived late enough to miss the openers, but that meant that we were buried in the back corner of the parking lot and had to wade through crushed beer cans, weave in and out of corn hole and frisbee games, and generally duck, dive and dodge drunk a-holes, just to get to the front gate. At which point there was a line to wait in, lots of people skipping the entire line, and people already being escorted out by security because they were too wasted to function. Literally, some girl was being carried out by her boyfriend - he was behind her with his arms up under her armpits keeping her upright, and her feet were practically dragging beneath her as she attempted to put one in front of the other to move forward. Her head was completely slumped and rolling around... it was pitiful. The security guard got them out onto a bench outside the gate and left them there! Sad. So needless to say, by the time we got in and found our seats, I was a little peeved and not really feelin the whole concert vibe. We only had to wait about 20 minutes for Incubus to come on though, and once they did, I was FINE for the rest of the evening :) Apart from my knees really hurting (Ben and I kept asking each other questions like "How's your back holding up?" and "Are your knees OK?" and "Do you want me to sit down with you for a few minutes?"... we're gettin WAYYY to old for this shit!). Incubus never disappoints. They played for about 2 hours, and they played "our song" - the one we had our first dance to at our wedding. They actually did it acoustically and Brandon (lead singer) played the bongos which made it even cooler because it was an awesome version that we hadn't heard them do before. The whole thing was kick-ass, really. It's so fun to be at a concert where you know every word of every song and they're just rockin out! And at the end of it all, it only took us about 20 minutes to get our of the parking lot, so I couldn't really complain.

Yesterday wasn't all that exciting - just another trip to E-burg for my second TB test (so we visited some parents while we were there), followed by dinner with Ben's friend Aaron at our place, and then Ben and Aaron left with thier friend Gary for the O's game while I went shopping for "professional" clothes for clinic at Old Navy. Good times ;) Today was Ben's first day back to work after over a week off with me :'( and I had to get up early to take the kitties for their neutering. That all went just fine - they did very well and are almost completely back to their normal routine this evening! While they were under the knife, I hit the emissions inspection station (PASSED!), the MVA (transferred my car's title from my dad's name to mine... to the tune of $60!!!), and to my dad's for lunch and a movie. Oh, one thing I do have to mention about the vet and the surgery... I don't know if you've ever experienced anything like this, but I had to tell them whether or not I wanted them to perform CPR on my kitties in the event of an emergency during surgery, and if so, how much! My options were "none, call me first", "CPR up to $100", "CPR up to $300" and "CPR with no limit"... ?!?!?! Holy crap! How am I supposed to put a price on my kittens' lives? Plus it only made me think more about the possibility of an emergency and made me feel nervous all day :'( I really didn't want to leave them!

Anyway, school starts on Thursday! I feel completely and utterly unprepared, so that's sweet. I feel a little overwhelmed with having to learn a whole new campus, a new system, finding different offices, getting a parking permit, picking up books, etc. Thank God Tara will be there with me! I won't have to feel so alone! I'm sure I'll have plenty to blog about over the first few days of school though. So for now, I'm gonna get back to snuggling and watching Old School. AFTER my husband puts his snake back in its cage. YES I realize how suggestive that sounded, and YES I'm referring to his literal snake, the ball python that lives in my office. Ew.

Couch Vacay

Hey kids! I'm reporting live here from my loveseat, where our asses have been parked since Monday evening ;) Ben took off to spend the week with me, since I'm on my week-and-a-half-long break between work and school. We didn't make plans to go anywhere or do anything, we're just enjoying some much-needed R&R!

Well, that's not COMPLETELY true - we did go to NC to visit my aunt, uncle and cousins over the weekend. We left Friday morning, dropped the kitties off at my dad's, and made the loooong trip out to southwestern NC (just north of Charlotte). My new little cousin Carson is just PRECIOUS at 4 weeks, and is basically a doll most of the time (though he is a bottomless pit)! We had a VERY nice time relaxing on the couch, meeting the new little guy, catching up with my aunt and uncle and my cousin Nikki (who is 12 and towers over me!), doing a little shopping, and cruising the adorable town where they live. We stayed til Monday morning, at which point we were just DYING to get home and see our kitties (I missed them so much!). Here's the brief photo journal...

Baby Carson at 4 weeks - cutie!!!

Enjoying (or not enjoying) some tummy time on Saturday

Me and my super grown up and sophisticated *little* cousin Nikki, who is now significantly taller than me at 12 years old. You miss so much when you're 7 hours away!

The Keyser family (well, none of us are Keyers anymore, but we look like it). Nikki, Me, my aunt Suzie, and Carson

It really was a pretty ride through the Appalachian Mountains, but after 7 hours I was MORE than ready to get the heck out of the car!

So that was our weekend - lovely and relaxing (minus the drive)! Our first day of actual couch vacay was yesterday (Tuesday), which we spent watching movies and working on a few housekeeping projects here and there (scrubbing our front door, beginning to organize the loft, general cleaning, etc). I think we watched 3 or 4 movies! We also hit Target for a few important items (kitty litter, deoderant... you know, the usual) and I got a few "professional" tops and a pair of cute flats to start my new wardrobe. This is going to be a LONG process, but I have to start dressing like I take myself seriously (in hopes that some day patients might take me seriously too). We do have a dress code for clinic days, and they prefer that we dress relatively nicely for class too (we're not in Kansas... er, Gettysburg...anymore) - no more rolling out of bed and out the door in the morning. Uhg. I guess I need to get used to waking up earlier and earlier anyway! This week isn't helping though. We got up at 11 today... glorious ;) Just one more reason why I don't need to have children right now! LOL! Once we finally got up and had a little breakfast (or in my case, a Lean Shake... I have GOT to drop a few pounds), I did my Jillian Michaels DVD. Whew. I thought I'd up the ante and try level two, which was a BIG mistake. I nearly had to be resuscitated. My heart was thumping and I started getting dizzy and I just had to sit down in the middle of it! Ugh what a mess I am. I have got to get this cardio-respiratory shit under control. I feel so helpless trying to stay in shape when my lungs can't seem to handle much if ANY strenuous physical activity anymore. I'm afraid it's getting worse. And I was supposed to go to the pulmonologist yesterday but I'm between insurance providers (my previous coverage at work and coverage through ben) and it was gonna be a major PIA to sort it out if I went yesterday, so now I have to wait til SEPTEMBER 25TH for the next available appointment. Ugh. I just know that I can't control my weight by diet alone (I'm far too weak, especially when I'm sitting around the house all day!), and I want to be in good physical shape too - being thin but incapable of running a mile isn't what I'm working for. I need to talk to the pulmo about what types of exercise I can do without collapsing. Anyway, moving on, we did manage to completely unpack, organize and clean out the loft, so I do have a functional office space now (YAY!) in time for school. And we did a little more shopping today (groceries and such, nothing "fun" really) as well, and watched yet another movie :) I've had a MAJOR 'tude all day though. I've apologized to Ben multiple times, but I'm just feeling large and ridiculous-looking, all my clothes are tight... it just puts me in an awful mood. And it's "that time" of the month too, which doesn't help a thing (though I don't usually tend to be a PMS-er, but it certainly isn't helping me feel any less large and bloated!). And I had a pounding headache for most of the day, because creamer and dieting don't really mix (so coffee is sorta out of the picture for now). I've just been a mess.

Tomorrow is "the big day" for the kitties - snip snip! Poor things don't even realize it. I'm sure they wouldn't have been NEARLY as snuggly with me today had they known what I'm about to do to them tomorrow! They were actually quite uncharacteristically snuggly today - at one point or another (and once at the same time!) each of them actually laid down and slept on me... too cute :) I just love them... they're going to make a cat person out of me yet! And their incredible sweetness today got me thinking... what if something happens tomorrow? What if they don't wake up after the surgery? Now I'm all nervous :'( Poor things. I wish I could be there with them! Ugh I'm such a nerd. What am I gonna do when it's my own kids?!?! Not that I'd ever have my child neutered... you know what I mean. LOL :)

This weekend is gonna be another busy one, of course. We're going to a Housewarming for one of Ben's friends from work on Saturday, Lacy's 10th birthday party on Sunday afternoon, and the Incubus concert on Sunday night at Merriweather (HOLLERRRRRRRRRRR!!!). Next week I have to have my second PPD in two weeks (tuberculosis test... it's for school) on Monday, and orientation for school starts Thursday! Holy smokes! I got my first textbook last week - my boss at work gave it to me as a 'thank-you' gift - and I've found a few others on the school classifieds MUCH cheaper than the bookstore prices (not that I ever buy books from the bookstore anyway... AMAZON!!!). So the med school train is pretty much barreling down on me! But it's pretty exciting :)

That's all for now! I'm gonna go hit the hay early I think... we have to get the kitties out the door by about 7:15 (yuck!), and then we're going to visit Frank, my dad, Ben's mom, my mom... basically the tour de e-burg. And we're taking the snake too because we have an appointment for the vet to check him out as well when we pick up the kitties at the end of the day (we suspect he may have a respiratory infection... FABULOUS). So it's shaping up to be a long day, but a nice one :) LATER!

I know, I know.

I'm really sorry. It's been FOREVER! I don't know if we've really been that "busy", per se, I guess I just haven't had much to blog about (since we haven't really been "busy" doing much). We did have our housewarming party last weekend, which was pretty laid back and enjoyable. We got to spend time with a variety of friends, I cooked all day, I got to see Sarah's new bling and talk wedding stuff... all in all, good times ;) We also had my friend Leanne here visiting last Thurs-Fri-Sat, which was tons of fun! Leanne and I had a lovely girls' night with lots of beer, kitty fun, movies, etc. on Thursday night while Ben visited his dad, and Janelle and Sarah came up and hung out on Friday evening with us and made dinner (sweet!). Unfortunately Leanne had to get back home on Saturday for a grad party so she missed our party, but we had a great time while it lasted!

Leanne snuggling with little Squidward

Lewis hanging out on Leanne's legs... LOL! They LOVED her - she let them sleep on the couch with her at night ;)

And this week was my LAST WEEK OF WORK!!! HOORAY!!! I've been waiting SO long to be finished, and now here I am - a free woman again! Today was my last day, a half-day followed by a group outing to Just Cakes in Bethesda for cupcakes, brownies, and other horrendously fattening treats :) Then I made the long-ass commute for THE LAST TIME, took a nice (WAY too long) nap, and soaked up my freedom.

Speaking of fattening treats, I've officially decided that it's time to start paying attention to what I'm eating again. I'm flirting dangerously with the upper limits of my weight gain tolerance. I really don't tolerate ANY weight gain well - no one does - but this is generally the maximum that I'll stand for before taking drastic measures. I think they call it "yo-yo dieting". It's not severe, I only fluctuate by 5-8 pounds when I go through these phases, but I've noticed that it's definitely a pattern for me. I lose some weight, start feeling good, get into a good work-out regimen, and then something happens to make me fall off the wagon. I injure myself, I get sick, I go on vacation... and then I start sliding down that slippery slope toward completely abandoning it all. And then one day it hits me that I've been COMPLETELY ignoring what I'm putting into my body, eating whatever I want whenever I want, and I look in the mirror and IT SHOWS. Ugh. So I'm in one of those ruts at the moment. Part of my problem is this athsma issue I've been having that's keeping me from running. I just can't run like I used to. I'm usually wheezing and feeling a lot of tightness in my chest by about 5 to 10 minutes into my run, and by 20 minutes I feel like I'm going to collapse and I have to stop. Running really is my work-out of choice - it's so rewarding and I feel like I've really kicked my ass and accomplished something when I'm finished - but lately it's just not working for me. I'm trying to get more diligent about doing the Jillian Michaels 30-day shred DVD that I bought, so we'll see how that goes. It's hard to get started because every time I start it again, it KILLS me and I have to skip at least the next day or even two because my muscles simply aren't functioning. Once I get into the swing of it I know I'll be able to do it daily, I just have to allow myself to ease into it WITHOUT allowing myself to fall off the wagon during that day or two between work-outs. Ugh. The endless battle.

I really should be getting to bed. We're leaving tomorrow morning for a long weekend in North Carolina to visit my aunt, uncle and two little cousins - the aunt who just had the baby boy a few weeks ago. I can't wait to meet him! I went to Target today and did a little baby shopping (ALWAYS fun!), did some laundry and packed for the trip. I'm hoping to take a day trip with my cousin Nikki (she's 12) while we're there to get her out of the house for a day since she's sorta cooped up with her mom and the baby all the time while her dad is at work. We're thinking some kind of amusement park or water park or something - apparently there are a few nearby. Should be fun! And of course there will be lots of baby-cuddling and photo-snapping ;) We're dropping the kittens at my dad's for the weekend (he's all anti-pet these days, but you should see him with the kitties - he loves them!) and then heading out west and down south (they live in western western NC). It'll be about a 7 1/2 hour ride, so like I said, I'm off the hit the sack. My psycho husband who apparently enjoys torturing himself is already dead to the world for the evening - he's working tomorrow morning 5-8am to make some OT money. It's much needed, but he always seems to pick the WORST days to do this stuff - it's always when we have a zillion other things to do and he wants to try to squeeze in a few hours in the extremely early morning, so he can be exhausted all day and pass out early. Ugh. But I really can't complain about having a husband who will go the extra mile to provide for his family ;) I just hope he doesn't think this means I'm driving...

So, be looking for an update next week with lots of cute baby pictures! We're both off all week so I'll have no excuse not to blog. We do need to organize the office before school starts, and the kitties are getting "the snip" on Thursday, but other than that we're pretty wide open! Vacation on the couch... there's nothing quite like it ;)

Another crazy weekend

Whew. So... Friday. Friday I came home from work and tirelessly cleaned the apartment for our guests, Mike and Sarah. Ahh, Mike and Sarah. How we LOVE Mike and Sarah :) Mike was Ben's best man at the wedding, and Sarah is his sweet-as-pie Kindergarten-teacher girlfriend. I state her occupation because it describes her personality so perfectly - SUPER friendly, SUPER sweet, creative, fun, and all smiles. As you can see below, they're simply picture-perfect! Anyway, they're just a blast to hang out with, so we had them down for drinks and sparkling conversation (since we're all poor and can't really go out... more on why Mike is poor shortly...) and had a lovely, relaxed evening just talking and laughing and playing with the kittens.

...and the snake. ew. This is the first time I've ever held him, and it may be the last, I won't lie. He's just gross. I'm sorry. This lasted about a total of a minute, and it only happened because I'd had a few glasses of wine.

Lewis really likes shoes. Here, he's sitting in Mike's shoes :)
And this is just a really cute one of Eddie sleeping on my leg later that evening...

Then came Saturday. We got up around 9:30 and got ready to go down to Amberly and Chris's. Ben spent the morning/afternoon helping Chris replace the brakes on Amberly's Jeep Liberty before they go on vacation next weekend. In the meantime, I watched the boys...

Leo spent most of our visit watching train videos on YouTube... the kid LOVES trains. And you just can't resist Evan's cheezy grin ;) He's totally mastered it - EVERY time you point a camera at him, this is what you get! He's a great subject ;)

Waiting patiently for daddy to come back inside and play...

Being good for me :) I even got him to go down for a nap! I was very impressed with myself! LOL :)

Me & Smeebo had a great time watching train videos, eating hot dogs and watching "Over the Hedge". He was an angel all day!

Leo refusing to smile nice for the camera, probably because he never sees Ben smile nice either (he usually only ever sees Ben making faces similar to the one he's making!)

Evan obviously looks up to his big brother Leo ;)

That brings me to why I was watching the boys... Amberly was at the hospital with Lace :'( Unfortunately Lacy came down with a respiratory infection last week that was causing her a lot of chest pain and shortness of breath, and she was running a fever of about 103, and after failing to respond well to oral antibiotics she was admitted to the Hopkins Children's Center on Friday afternoon. Her chest X-ray showed large mucus build-ups in the bottom of each of her lungs, which the doctor said were cutting her lung capacity nearly in half. For anyone who isn't familiar with CF, CF patients accumulate mucus build-ups because their tissues don't regulate salt/water balances correctly which leads to really thick mucus (as opposed to the nice liquidy wet mucus in a normal lung), which is a lovely environment for bacteria and viruses to live and grow in, making CF patients far more susceptible to serious respiratory infections. Anyway, after a long weekend of strong IV antibiotics, she had a PICC line inserted today (Peripheral Intravenous Central Catheter). It's basically a really long IV line that runs from a vein in her arm into the right atrium of her heart to more directly and aggressively administer antibiotics. Three times a day she'll have to hook up a portable IV pump to her PICC line and sit around for an antibiotic drip, over the course of a few weeks. She's had a PICC line once before so it isn't new to her. The last one was inserted in the OR under general anesthesia, but this time around she was brave enough to have it inserted by a nurse at the bedside with a local and a mild sedative! Amberly said she cried a little but did amazingly well, and when I was in to see her this afternoon she was completely back to normal, bouncing around the room. So please keep her continued progress and recovery in your prayers. Especially since they're leaving for family vacation in the Outer Banks on Saturday!

So, back to Saturday... When the guys finished with the brake job, we headed over to Frank's to take him out to the store (well, two stores). Which of course wasn't a quick trip, but it was realtively uneventful and painless :) Then we shot down to Eldersburg to stop in and visit with my dad for an hour or so, which was just lovely! I really do miss being at home with him and seeing him every day, so it felt great to spend a little time at home and catch up. I'm hoping to get back down there again this weekend for a more extended visit. We had to get going to get home for our next evening of visitors - Janelle and her roommate Sarah (not Mike's Sarah - we'll call this one Sarah M.) came up for dinner :) Just like our lovely Friday evening, we had a lovely Saturday evening of casual drinks, more sparkling conversation, and DELICIOUS dessert! And the kitties got even MORE attention - they had a GREAT weekend ;) I hadn't seen Janelle since the wedding, and hadn't seen Sarah M. since the last time we hung out at their place which was God-knows-how-long ago, so we were thrilled to finally get to spend some time just hanging out and catching up with them. It was a good time.

Oh, so I was saying, about us all being too poor to go out Friday night... yeah, something else fun happened on Saturday night - Mike proposed to Sarah!!! YAY! It was so fun to kinda watch it all unfold, since we knew it was coming ;) Not that we actually got to SEE it, but we got theplanning updates and news ahead of time, and then got the phone call when it happened and all that. Talking to her on Friday night when the boys went out for a beer run, I was just biting my tongue listening to her trying to guess when it was coming and talking about wedding plans! Hee hee :) I'm SO SO SO happy for them! Mike has been through a lot and he's such an amazingly wonderful guy, and he deserves this SO much. And Sarah is just so awesome and it's so obvious that she recognizes and appreciates what she has in Mike - it's just wonderful to see! I'm sure they'll have a FABULOUS wedding too, because Sarah is just so creative. They're just so perfect for each other... I can't wait!

Then came Sunday. Whew, it was the never-ending weekend. We got up and went over to Hopkins to visit Lacy, who was of course in great spirits because that's just the kind of girl she is, plus she was definitely feeling a lot better. It was a relief to finally get to see her and see that she was getting back to her normal self and not feeling too miserable. Plus we got to visit with Amberly and Ben's mom, which was an added bonus! It had definitely been a little while since we'd gotten to just sit down and chat with them for more than a few minutes! Then we made the drive from east Baltimore out to Carroll Valley, PA for a cookout with Tom & Amy and Mark & Susan, and the dogs of course ;) That was filled with the usual fabulous Amy Smith food, lots of laughs and fun with the pups. And lots of drinks of course - had to drive Ben home from that one! But we somehow managed to get into bed at a reasonable hour anyway, to start up another hectic work week.

Speaking of getting to bed at a reasonable hour, I gotta go get a shower. And you're probably MORE than DONE reading yet another novel of a blog post from yours truly, so I should let you go anyway ;) LATER!

Ahhh progress...

I think we're making progress with Mr. Ray Lewis. Eddie has always been a snuggler - a "people cat" if you will. When we went to pick them out Eddie was the rambunctious one, playing with all the other kittens and being very sociable, while Lewis hid under large pieces of furniture for the majority of our visit. But Lewis was just too cute to pass up - we really loved his coloring and he had been the first one to catch our eye when we came into the vet's office and were checking out the kitten cage. I was a little concerned about his skittishness - he didn't want to come out until we got most of the other kittens out of the room (after narrowing it down to the two we have, we asked the lady to take the others out so we could get to know them without all the craziness - at the time we thought we'd be choosing between the two but THAT obviously didn't happen!). And even when we did get rid of the others, he was very hesitant to come out, backed away when you tried to pet him, and didn't particularly want to be held. Sounds like a kitten everyone's just DYING to take home, doesn't it! LOL :) But I tend to be a sucker for shyness, and when we finally were able to pick him up and hold him for a few minutes, he was very sweet. So we had hope that he'd come around. When we were deciding whether to take one or two, we were actually just going to take him and leave Eddie!

I will say that I'm SO glad we brought Eddie home, because having just Lewis would've been a little disappointing for a while - it's taken him a few weeks to warm up. I was very hesitant about taking two (financial reasons mostly - I was afraid to commit to two animals' worth of vet bills), but Eddie has already been worth his weight in gold - he's just SUCH a sweetheart. Despite the toilet fiasco (see post below). But anyway, back to Lewis, we're really starting to notice a change in him now. He's always first in line to greet me when I get home from work, and he's starting to jump up on the couch with us and let us just sit and pet him more. It used to be darn-near impossible to pick him up, but now he has no qualms about letting us pick him up and hold him for a bit. He even let me trim his nails!

But this morning was the most exciting progress so far :) It's not at all rare for me to wake up to Eddie in my face. Ben usually crawls out of bed a few minutes before I do and opens the bathroom door so they have access to the bedroom at that point (we've been keeping them locked out of our room at night so Eddie can't crawl all over us!). But today, when I felt the little paws land on the edge of the bed and looked down expecting to see my sweet little Squidward peering up at me (if you know Ben I'm sure you can track the progression of that nickname), I was shocked to see Lewey instead! I sat up and he came right up into my lap, purring his little face off and rubbing his head all over me :) He even laid down in my lap, which he NEVER does (he's usually far too active to sit still). I know this probably seems QUITE silly to the rest of the world, but it just thrilled me :) And Ben was very excited too - he's been very worried that Lewis is just going to be one of those cats that you never see. So I think we're making great progress with Lewis, and we're going to end up having two awesome kitties when they're all grown up!

Gotta go check my fish. I got in TWO experiments yesterday (LOTS of fishy babies!), but so far today has been a no-go. I was expecting this, given the unusual success of yesterday's breeding - Lord knows THAT can't happen twice in one week. Whatev. Today is my "farewell lunch" so I'm getting even more excited about my impending fellowship termination :) I know I still have 2 1/2 weeks left, but it's fun to start doing these "wrap-up" activities!

Every parent's worst nightmare

My dear, sweet Eddie is a closet DOG.

I only wish I had the pictures to prove it! He chases his tail quite enthusiastically, loves to cuddle and sit on laps, licks people, and is obsessed with the toilet. EVERY TIME you go in the bathroom and lift up the seat, he comes tearing in there like a bat out of hell, comes to a sliding halt right next to the bowl, and watches in amazement. He's just enamored. Early this morning, Edward's unhealthy potty fetish nearly killed him, in fact. Let me explain.

It's 5:10am. My alarm goes off at 5:20am, so I'm already unhappy about being awake, but I REALLY have to pee and I just know I'm going to lay there awake til the alarm goes off anyway if I don't get up and do it. So I get up and wander into the bathroom in the dark (it's getting light outside, but once I pull up the bathroom door it's just about pitch dark in there). I pick up the seat and start to turn around to sit down, and before I can begin to lower myself at all, Eddie comes tearing around the corner and I hear/feel a big SPLASH. That's right, my 12-week-old kitten is IN the toilet, at 10 after 5 in the morning. My first thought is "dear God he's going to drown!" - I'm picturing him completely submerged in toilet water gasping for air and clawing at the sides of the bowl - so I quickly flick on the light (which of course nearly blinds me, given my sleep-wake status), reach into the bowl and yank him out. Of course I've completely overestimated the severity of the situation - he's much bigger than I'm imagining him to be relative to the toilet, and he's basically just standing in there with wet paws. He didn't even seem to be in much of a hurry to get himself out. What a fool. I guess he was just thrilled to finally find out for himself what goes on in there. I grab the nearest hand towel and dry off his paws and belly through clenched teeth, toss him onto the floor, and wander back into my bedroom half-stunned. WAY too much action for 5am.

Meanwhile, dear hubby remains sound asleep, rolled up in the covers like a burrito, completely oblivious.