The Art of the Gradual Transition

I've discovered that the only constant in parenting is change. Babies (and their routines) are constantly growing, developing, evolving... just when you think you've got something good going, everything gets flipped upside down! This constant flux makes it very difficult to ever settle into your own routine. Your sleep routine is constantly changing, nap times are always shifting around, the kinds of toys and activities that once entertained them suddenly become obsolete, and you're left wondering how in the heck you're ever supposed to settle into any kind of normal, predictable pattern (like anything remotely resembling your old life!). I find myself in a perpetual state of "figuring [something] out", whether it's what the heck does he want from me right now?! or how do I get him to take a bottle again, and why the heck did he suddenly decide they're poison?! or how is it that he can quietly soothe himself right back to sleep at nap time, but cries every stinking time he wakes up at night?! I suppose it has a lot to do with the stage we're in right now, but it just seems like we're always "working on [something]". It can be exhausting at times.

It's exhausting for many obvious reasons. First of all, when your child is establishing routines and habits and making strong associations, you feel like you really have to watch yourself. You don't want to set any bad precedents and train your baby into "bad habits". Whether it's a habit that could ultimately be bad for your baby himself, or a habit that just makes your life more difficult, you've got to do what you can to avoid setting yourself up for difficulty down the road. The tricky part is that babies don't come with instructions, and sometimes you just don't realize that you're making trouble for yourself. Other times you know darn well, but you're just too tired to care! Sometimes you just let them win, and quietly reassure yourself that tomorrow is another day. There's plenty of guilt in that outcome, but that's parenting for ya. Exhaustion with a side of frustration, peppered with guilt, and served on a big heaping pile of the purest, sweetest joy you've ever known. 

It's also exhausting because you convince yourself that if you break it down into small enough steps, your baby won't even notice that you're trying to completely up-end some aspect of his little world. You design these elaborate schemes for getting from Point A to Point B, which end up mostly going to pot, or being postponed and modified and scaled up and scaled down and spun around until they're just remnants of their former selves! We're working on several of these "gradual transitions" ourselves...

• Sleeping through the night. We used to be great at this one! A few weeks ago we were getting up to nurse every hour and a half to two hours. Now we've successfully cut out the nursing, but we're still waking up every two or three hours. It turned out that he wasn't actually hungry, he just needed some help getting back to sleep. I jumped to the conclusion that he was awake because he was hungry, but it turned out that if I got up and walked around with him for a few minutes he'd fall right back to sleep. Sometimes I had to walk and bounce and rock for a good twenty minutes before he'd go back to sleep, but before long all I had to do was sit up in bed and pick him up and he would almost immediately lay his head on my shoulder and drift off to sleep. Now he will sometimes soothe himself back to sleep in his bassinet with my help (I hold his hand near his mouth for a few minutes so that he can find some fingers to suck on), but other times I still end up having to pick him up. The hours between 2 and 3am are usually the worst for this. He'll fall back asleep with my help, but he won't stay asleep. If I've gotten him to fall back to sleep in his bassinet, he'll be awake again within 5 or 10 minutes. If I've picked him up and let him fall asleep on my chest, I usually can't even lay him back down without his eyes popping wide open, and the fussing ensues all over again. I have laid there next to the bassinet holding his fingers or a pacifier (which he rarely takes anymore) in his mouth for every bit of 20 and 30 minutes sometimes, trying to hold off on picking him up. Somehow, during this 2-3am stint, he just about always wins. I haven't had to resort to nursing him back to sleep, but he just will not stay asleep during that time frame and rarely falls asleep at all without me picking him up. Eventually - and I have no idea what's different that causes this - he just falls asleep and stays asleep. It's usually after about 45 minutes to an hour of this back and forth madness. I just really don't know how to move past this road block!

• The next is instituting a two-nap schedule. On this point, I've had much more success. He almost always cat-napped in the mornings and then took a long afternoon nap in his swing. I tried laying him in his bassinet for a mid-morning nap around 11 (or whenever he got sleepy around that time of day) for about a week straight, but he would never stay asleep in there for more than 30 minutes. EVER. Sometimes I could get him to go back to sleep, sometimes I couldn't, but never for any more than a second 30-minute stint. There must be something about his sleep cycle... it's 30 minutes, on the dot, EVERY time I lay him in his bassinet to nap during the day. So eventually I decided to just put him in his swing when he started to act sleepy sometime between 11 and noon every day just to establish it as a nap time, since I knew he'd sleep better in there. That was the key - it only took a few days until we had added an (at least) hour-and-a-half-long nap in the late morning. The next step is...

• Napping in the crib (and ultimately sleeping there at night, though that's still a ways off I think). As aforementioned, we have tried to have him nap in his bassinet as an intermediate step along the way toward reaching this goal, but that hasn't gone so well. About a week ago I decided to move the swing upstairs to our bedroom. I thought that perhaps  he was having a hard time napping in the quiet, isolated bedroom because he had grown accustomed to napping on the main floor with plenty of background noise and the smell of mommy nearby. Apparently the surrounding environment wasn't the problem, because he has had no trouble sleeping up there in his swing. I have always been rather perplexed as to why he seems to need the motion of the swing to nap well during the day, when he obviously doesn't seem to "need" it at night. Well, as it turns out, apparently it wasn't the motion of the swing either - the batteries ran out the other day and he stayed asleep just fine! It starts out swinging and dies about a half hour into his nap, so I've just been letting it go and he has been napping normally. Today I just never even started it swinging - he slept in there motionless and did great! He even woke up at one point and put himself back to sleep! I was quite impressed. So it has been a gradual process of narrowing down what it is that he seems to "need", or maybe he is just gradually learning to nap without whatever it is that he "needed". The next step is to see if he'll nap laying down versus sitting up - that's all that's separating the swing from the bassinet at this point! What's my strategy? I'm thinking of having him sleep sitting up motionless in the swing for a few more days just to ensure that we're over the motion thing, and then try propping him with the boppy pillow in his bassinet. Maybe if he's semi-upright he won't notice the difference...? We shall see. Then it'll just be a matter of removing that last crutch (the boppy) and, Voila! We're napping in the bassinet. See what I mean by elaborate schemes? Oye.

• Last but certainly not least frustrating is the Battle of the Bottle. Little man always took a bottle like a champ up until about a month ago. He'd even let Daddy feed him his last meal of the night and put him to bed! He took bottles from me, from Daddy, and even from friends of ours once or twice. Then one day, he apparently just decided he'd had enough of that. Now he purses his lips, shakes his head, ducks away, screeches, and generally employs any and all tactics at his disposal for avoiding the dreaded plastic nipple. We switched to a more breast-like nipple (the Tommee Tippee) at the suggestion of several friends, but so far it hasn't even put a dent in his resolve. We've been offering a bottle once a day for over a week now, and I'm about to step it up to twice (maybe once with me during the day and once with Daddy in the evening...?). I know that Daddy is probably the best person to start with, since he associates me with nursing, but I'm home with him so much that it's just convenient for me to give it a try too. Maybe I should just have Daddy do it for a while... Anyway, we've been offering it at between-meal times, so that he's not already hungry and cranky but also not full from a recent feeding. I'm also trying not to put myself in a position where he's legitimately hungry so that I'm forced to nurse him right after he rejects the bottle, because I don't want him to associate the rejection of the bottle with the reward of nursing. It's all quite tricky, to say the least. Why is this a such pivotal point for a SAHM, you might ask? I have to start doing some shadowing in the hospital for my "independent study" credits, which will require me to be away from home for several hours at a time. He's gonna get hungry, and he's gonna have to take a bottle, and I'd rather it not be out of sheer necessity and after a long, hard battle with whomever is watching him! We really need to climb back up on the bottle wagon before my first shadowing session. 

So, long story not-so-short (as usual), we've been awful busy around here! But despite the little battles we've got going on, there has been no shortage of fun times and general adorableness...

Often heard 'round these parts: "Good thing he's so darn cute" ;-)

Politics. Sigh.

Ahhh... the news. If you want to feel like an intelligent adult in social situations, you have to watch it on occasion. It's usually just too darn depressing for me. And I'm not just talking about the war and the violence and the senseless tragedies... I'm talking about our nation's politics, too. It's downright pitiful how we operate these days. We're so far divided that we disagree with one another purely for the sake of distancing ourselves from the "other side". Our politicians couldn't bear to be seen agreeing with someone from the opposite party on anything - that would be political suicide. We must argue simply because the hate has seeded itself that deep. We watch our politicians bumble through ridiculous arguments over issues that they should probably all agree on - and maybe deep down they do - just because the idea came from the wrong party. If it wasn't our idea, it's a terrible one. If the decision wasn't made by one of us, it wasn't the right one. It drives me completely batty. That's why I watch The Daily Show - if I had to take politics seriously, I'd probably just give up on society entirely and live out the rest of my days hidden away in a shack somewhere.

What this country really needs is leadership that can bridge the divide, but we'll never get it because compromise and team work are unelectable. You'll never win your party's nomination by being open-minded. It's all about taking a staunchly democratic or republican stand on whatever the issue is, and sticking to your guns for the rest of your natural life regardless of how science, society, economics or any other malleable aspect of civilization may change. Personally, I appreciate a politician who is willing to change his or her mind. I think that's a trait to be valued and praised! To be able to admit when you were wrong and then do something to make it right for the sake of your constituency (whether it be one small district or the entire country) is a sign of character and humility. I don't think that we elect public servants to cling to strict party lines and govern based on any one particular dogma... call me crazy, but I think that public servants ought to serve the public. That involves recognizing that not everyone in this great big country agrees with you, and you were elected to represent us all.

Now of course no elected official can please his entire constituency, least of all the President, and at the end of the day decisions must be made. We can't have our politicians just running around in circles trying to please everyone... they work inefficiently enough as it is. Unfortunately, the people they end up working hardest to please are the ones that can pony up the dough (or the votes) to win them another term in office. First things first, we need some serious campaign finance reform to fix that problem. But we also need to change the way we vet and elect politicians. We need to focus harder on personal judgment than we do on ones record of voting along the party line. We don't want someone who is going to push any one specific agenda for an entire four (or eight)-year stint in office - that yields a seriously unstable government that is constantly flip-flopping its policies every four-to-eight years. We want someone who, when it's time for a decision to be made on a tough issue that affects a lot of Americans, can be trusted to make the appropriate judgment call on what is best for America. Not what's best for the Catholic church or what's best for the Donald Trumps or what's best for the Green Peacers or any other "special interest group"... what's best for AMERICA as a whole. That is always going to involve ticking off a large group of people. Who has the guts to do it? Who has the guts even to tick off some of the people who voted for him, because at the end of the day he has determined that that's what's best for America? That's who I'd like to elect. But wherever he is, he'll never run for President. Sigh.

I have a good bit to say about some current political events (the HHS mandate, gay marriage in Maryland), but I think I'll save that for my next post. Wouldn't want this one to get too far out of control... you know how long-winded I can get ;)

A Day to Celebrate

Yesterday was Eli's Parent Child Dedication Ceremony at our church. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept of a "baby dedication" (you're not the only one, trust me!), let me explain... Unlike a christening or a baptism, there is no water involved in a dedication ceremony. In our church, we practice Believers' Baptism as a symbolic and public display of one's personal decision to accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Obviously, babies cannot make a personal decision about their faith, so we don't baptize them. We also baptize by full immersion (and we can't just go around dunking babies under water!), to symbolize a kind of death to self and "re-birth" in Christ. It is purely symbolic - baptism doesn't "get you into Heaven" or anything like that - so our baptisms aren't motivated by any belief that we are protecting our children from a less-than-Heavenly fate in the afterlife. We make this public display to declare our new faith out loud, and so that our Church family can stand with us in celebration of this decision and be there to guide us as we begin a new walk with Christ. Purely symbolic, but a very important moment in the life of any Christian. And as a disclaimer, please understand that I don't mean to diminish the beliefs or practices of the other sects of Christianity - only to explain the underpinnings of the practice of baby dedication in our Church.

The term "dedication" refers to our promise to dedicate ourselves to raising our child in a Biblical fashion, in the Church. We make a promise to live out our faith for our children to see, setting a Biblical example for them to follow as we prayerfully lead them toward personal faith in Christ. It is (hopefully) a prelude to a future baptism, when our children are old enough to make the decision for themselves. Friends and family join us in solidarity and support of this endeavor, also promising to set a Godly example. The entire Church also takes a similar vow. It is a community effort, raising a child to love the Lord, and the Parent Child Dedication Ceremony recognizes that. It is usually referred to as a "Parent Child Dedication" (versus "baby dedication") because it represents a promise that parents are making to their children, and the dedication of that parent-child relationship to the Lord with the support of the Church family. The term also serves to make it inclusive of children of all ages - it's never too late to "dedicate" your children, and many families dedicate several children at once.

It was an early day - we had to be there at about 9:15 to have a professional family portrait taken (professional photography services were donated by a church member) and get settled in. In my humble opinion, 9:15am is far too early to be anywhere with a small child (or many small children), particularly when you're supposed to be looking your best! But we made it, nonetheless. We had lots of family and friends in attendance to share the occasion with us, and after the ceremony we enjoyed a reception at the Church and then had everyone back to our house to socialize and celebrate a little more! Eli was (of course) dashing in his plaid button-down and sweater vest, and behaved like the true angel that he is (most of the time). He was practically falling asleep when we were up on stage, and promptly passed out once our part was finished :)

Without further ado, I give you the photos...

Our family loves nothing more than a reason to get together and celebrate!

One Syllable That'll Ruin Your Life

Should.


I may declare it a curse word in this household.

As a new mother, you can should yourself right into a straight jacket! Your baby really should be sleeping better. Your baby should "self-soothe". He should be napping in his crib. He should be sleeping in his own room. He should nap twice a day. You should have a fixed and elaborate bedtime routine. You should put your baby to bed at 6:30 in the evening. You should give him rice cereal before bed to help him sleep better. You should not give him rice cereal until 6 months. You should make your own dang rice cereal. He should have 20 minutes of tummy time, read fifteen books, listen to 3 hours of classical music and watch 5 Baby Einstein DVDs every day. GAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

First of all, for almost every person who says that you "should" do something or other with your baby, there are at least 10 more who say that you shouldn't. It's downright maddening. For the most part, I'm coming to realize that it really is all about what works for your baby, and where your motherly instinct leads you. Unless you're a moron. If you are a moron, please run your decisions by someone else. People do some purely insane things with their babies, so we can't exactly claim that all mothers' instincts are on-point strictly by virtue of the fact that they are mothers. Case in point: Britney Spears. If you think it's a good idea to drive down the road with your baby in your lap, you may want to re-evaluate your fitness for decision making, at least when it comes to child rearing.

For many of us (apparently I've decided that I am not, in fact, a moron, but feel free to disagree if you wish), it is not only sufficient but probably even advisable to simply operate under the influence of those "gut feelings" the majority of the time. I used to think that people were being rather relativistic when they said things like "no one knows your baby like you do, so you just have to do what you know is best for your baby". I figured surely there had to be a "right" way to do things, and a bunch of "alternatives" or "short cuts" that would ultimately yield some negative result. But the better I get to know my baby, the more I'm realizing that every child is an individual (just like every adult!), and there's no one-size-fits-all "right way" to do much of anything when it comes to babies.

Now, when it comes to issues of safety, there is certainly a right way to do things. But where and when my baby naps... how long I'll let him fuss before I pick him up... when we start solid foods... when he moves to his own room at night... those are all judgment calls that we have to make on our own. There are many resources we can turn to for guidance: our pediatrician, mommy friends, Google... but at the end of the day, we have to make a call. The final decision will always be shaped by our knowledge of our baby and his preferences, routines, tendencies... and a general "sense" of what works and what doesn't. That last part is difficult to describe, but as you get to know your baby, you also develop a sixth sense for how he will behave in different scenarios. That sixth sense is actually one of the great rewards of parenthood - there's nothing like the vindication of a successful prediction about your baby (particularly when someone else thinks they know different!). I love it when I'm right, especially about him ;) It makes me feel like a good mom who knows her baby well! Of course, as soon as you think you know them, they throw you for a total loop just to keep you on your toes!

Anyway, let's get back on-topic. The zillions of different resources out there can make parenting a very confusing endeavor, if you start trying to "do some research" about one topic or another. Of course there's nothing wrong with investigating different points of view or looking for professional recommendations, if you're up for it, but I've found that it quickly becomes a can of worms that I end up wishing I'd never opened. It's so easy to guilt yourself into believing that you're "doing it all wrong", because invariably you will find someone on some message board somewhere posting about the very thing you've been doing and how her pediatrician told her that's the absolute worst thing you can do for your baby. Maybe it won't be that dramatic, but if you look long and hard enough, you will eventually find some tidbit that makes you doubt yourself. Maybe it'll only make you doubt yourself a little tiny bit at first, but for first-time parents, doubt may as well be bacterial meningitis. It's highly infectious and spreads rapidly, and before you know it you're on death's door. While doubt won't kill you, of course, it certainly has the potential to kill your confidence which in turn will kill your joy.

Then again, maybe some amount of doubt is healthy if it drives us to be thorough in our research and understanding of the issues we face as parents. Maybe that doubt will motivate us to exercise the appropriate amount of caution when it comes to caring for our precious children. One could certainly argue that over-confidence can be just as harmful as paralyzing doubt, when that confidence is misplaced (a la Britney Spears). If you're too sure of yourself and never take a moment to doubt yourself, how much damage could you end up doing if it turned out that you were wrong? With questions like oatmeal vs. rice cereal, maybe the damage won't be too hefty. With higher-stakes questions, maybe we ought not be too sure of ourselves.

So, what's the take-home message? I'm not really sure (there's that pesky doubt again... ha!). All I know is that so far, for us, letting Eli take the lead on most things is working out well. He's progressing on-pace with other kids his age without any forcing or "training" or prodding from us! Maybe he's not sleeping through the night anymore, for example, but lots of babies his age go through this so-called "4 month sleep regression" (so many that there's a name for it!). I could fight it and try some sort of "sleep training" method, or I can accept that that's just where we are. If it's so common to babies his age, I'd be willing to bet that there's a developmental purpose behind the extra overnight feedings. I could fight it and try to force him into a sleep pattern that's more convenient for me, or I can wake up 3 or 4 times for about 15 minutes each to give my baby a little snuggle and provide him with the nutrition that his little body is obviously craving. He'll sleep through again when he's ready. Perhaps if the sleep deprivation was getting bad enough that it was interfering with my ability to function at a job and provide a roof over his head, I'd consider trying to "do something about it" - I'm not in that situation so I'm not going to pass judgment on other parents in different situations who do choose to try to "sleep train". But that's exactly what I'm talking about - for most things, it really is all about "what works for you".

Personally, I feel that whatever is natural for him is probably what's best for him. God designed my baby the way He did for a reason. Eli is too young to be manipulating his routines and manufacturing "needs" that he doesn't really have - if he's asking for something, it's because he needs it. Heck, even if he just wants it (my nearly-18-pound baby clearly isn't hurting for nutrition, for example), he's too little to discern any difference between a want and a need. He just feels compelled by something and fusses til he gets it, and it's confusing and scary to an infant to have his primary caregivers stop responding to a need that he perceives. That's why I'm opposed to the idea of "sleep training" at this stage, or any kind of "training" for that matter (particularly when it involves "crying it out". Don't get me started.) As he gets older, we will gradually assume responsibility for shaping his behavior to ensure that he establishes healthy eating and sleeping habits, good social behavior, etc. But for now, he is driven by a combination of natural internal instincts and feelings of physical or emotional discomfort, none of which are "moldable", nor should they be ignored. As he assumes more cognitive control over his behavior, we will begin to shape that behavior in developmentally appropriate ways. I just believe that "training" is developmentally inappropriate at this stage.

Well now that we've brought that tangent to a close, I suppose we can wrap up this entire post. I'm not sure that I really had much of a point to make, but I think that we explored some interesting territory anyway :)

Sleep.

I have a lot to say about the topic of sleep these days. First of all, I'd like to get some more of it! But hey, wouldn't we all? Well, except for those crazy people who say things like "Eh, I'll sleep when I'm dead" (whilst rising and shining on a Saturday morning at 5am to start doing yard work or whatever it is they do with all of that extra time). I, for one, LOVE me some good sleep. But that's just me.

We're encountering several sleep issues in our home. First, there are the nighttime issues. I have to say, we're doing a little better. The past few nights he has only woken up 2-3 times to nurse (though we're still getting up for the day around 7:30, which is rough for a passionate sleeper-inner like myself). In considering the whole cereal idea, I got to thinking that maybe he's just not getting enough because I'm not producing enough - maybe it has nothing to do with "needing" anything supplemental. This past week I started trying to pump once a day during nap time just to build up my freezer supply, and I'm really only getting about 2-2 1/2 oz on a side. I always used to get 4-5 oz on a side with no problem. Eli has always nursed on one side per feeding to ensure that he gets the more nutrient-dense "hind milk", but at 4 months old, 2 1/2 oz per feeding can't possibly be cuttin' it for him. He may get a little more out of me than my pump does, but he should probably be eating a lot more than that. It's not that I deny him the other side - he either falls asleep (like the impossible-to-rouse, milk coma kind of sleep) or just pulls away and acts finished and fights me when I try to pull him in to keep eating, so we don't make it to the other side.

I'm starting to try to be more adamant about offering both sides now, in hopes that he'll get more to eat per feeding to keep him satisfied and help keep my supply going. I'm finding that if he's awake and acting like he's done, he often changes his mind once I get him up and burp him and talk to him for a minute or two and then try offering the other side. When he's asleep... well, I haven't figured out how to get to him eat more in that scenario. I sit him up and burp him, rub his back, rub his head, scratch the bottoms of his feet... sometimes nothing works (especially in the middle of the night). Suggestions, anyone?

I also know that I need to drink more water than I'm drinking. It's all about the water bottle for me - I drink SO much more when I have a water bottle to carry around with me - and I lost mine about a month or so ago and haven't been hydrating like I should. I bought a new one at Target the other night and I'm already noticing a difference in how "full" I feel between feedings. So, before I go trying to add any cereal, I'm going to work on my supply (by pumping and hydrating) and do my best to offer both sides at every feeding and see if he starts getting back to longer stretches between daytime feedings and sleeping better at night.

Next, there's the issue of napping. He does take one very good nap each day in his swing, usually 2 1/2-3 hours from 2ish til 5ish. I've been trying to institute a morning naptime, as I've mentioned in previous posts, but he's just such a cat-napper in the mornings. If I just let him nap wherever he is when he falls asleep (usually in the boppy pillow on the couch with me), he'll probably take two 30-45 minute snoozes between waking in the morning and going down for his good long afternoon nap. When I try to look for his sleepy cues and take him upstairs to nap in his bassinet, in hopes of making a true "morning nap" out of it, he still only makes it about 30 minutes at most before he's awake and squawking for me. I can sometimes lull him back to sleep by sitting on my bed with him on my chest for about 10 minutes and get him to sleep up there for about another 15-30 minutes, but it's just such a disjointed nap. Not to mention the fact that his sleepy cues come at different times every morning (anywhere from 10:30 to noon!), and I'm having a terrible time figuring out exactly when this morning nap should take place. And if I do get him to nap for about an hour total, he sometimes isn't getting up until 12:30 or 1, which will then throw off when he gets tired for his afternoon nap. Since the afternoon nap is the reliable one that he really seems to do well with, I really hate to interfere with that! Is it really that important that he take two defined naps per day? Should I keep working at it, or just let him cat-nap through the morning as he needs to?

I also wonder about the duration of his afternoon nap. I almost always wake him up once it hits about 3 hours, because for some reason I have myself convinced that he would just sleep in that swing for 8 hours straight if I didn't (even though I've seen him wake up on his own plenty of times). Should I be waking him up, or should I just let him sleep til he wakes up on his own? I have never noticed him having a hard time going to sleep for the night as a result of sleeping too late into the evening. In fact, he's finishing a later-than-usual afternoon nap right now - it's 7:20 - and I'm struggling with these very questions... should I get him up? Will he wake up on his own soon if I just leave him? Will he refuse to go to sleep later? Gah.

Thoughts? Suggestions? I'll take any and all under advisement!

Cloth Diapering Update

Just wanted to drop in and add a little update on our experience with cloth diapering. As I've mentioned previously, today's cloth diapers are not your mama's old prefolds with plastic pants... we're using Fuzzibunz Elite One-Size pocket diapers, pictured above. Fuzzibunz are made of a waterproof cloth exterior casing lined with fleece inside - the outer cloth and inner fleece forming a pocket in which to stuff absorbent minky inserts. The inserts draw moisture through the fleece and trap it there so that baby's skin remains dry. When I take a wet diaper off of my son, I can literally run my hand across the fleece without coming away with any moisture on my hand. It's pretty amazing. As a result, these diapers make diaper rash a problem of the past (as has been our experience)! Anyway, these diapers also feature about a zillion snap adjustments at the waist and adjustable elastic around the waist and leg casings, making them completely customizable to find the perfect fit for your baby from birth through potty training. I don't think I need to belabor the financial benefits of purchasing just one set of diapers to last you 2 1/2 or 3 years (and through multiple children as well). Fuzzibunz offers a lifetime warranty on their products and provides spare elastics with each diaper so that they can be replaced as they wear out - these puppies are designed to last, and to make your investment worthwhile. I know I sound like a Fuzzibunz salesperson, but I assure you I am not... just a highly satisfied customer!

My husband will tell you that removing the inserts is the worst part, though that doesn't really bother me. The inserts are usually pretty well soaked with urine and liquid poo residue, and they need to be removed from the diaper itself before all pieces are tossed into the wet bag to assure a thorough cleaning in the washer. The pocket is wide open for removal of the inserts - you don't have to squish your hand through a little poo-covered opening to get to them or anything - so you just pinch the insert between two fingers, shake it on out, and drop it all into the bag. Not a crisis. I find it rather ironic that men have somehow developed this reputation for handling "the dirty jobs" around the house... every guy I know whose baby is cloth diapered is bothered by this. So silly.

For me, the worst part is stuffing the diapers when they come out of the dryer. It's not all that difficult, it's just a little time-consuming. We've found the greatest success with leakage control by double-stuffing, so it's a tight fit and requires a bit of fussing to get them properly placed to prevent bunching. For now it's no big deal - I'm home all day and usually don't have trouble finding the time to do it. But I can see that, in a home with two working parents (which will eventually be us!), this task might become a bit of a hassle.

As for the positives... they are many!

• We'll start with the obvious... we haven't bought diapers since we started over a month ago (except for that one time that we drove an hour and a half to a family gathering and forgot the diaper bag... whoops!), so we've already saved close to $100 in diapering costs. You could add ointment savings to that total as well, as we were going through a good deal of A&D with disposables, using it at every changing to prevent diaper rash. We spent a little over $250 on our stash of 16 Fuzzibunz, so they're already well on their way to paying themselves off! 
• We haven't had many leakage problems - no more than we had with disposables. You always have the occasional wet-through around one leg or the other from time to time when they pee a little more than usual or go a little too long between changings. We haven't had any poop blow-outs at all, however, which we did have to deal with when he was in disposables. I think that the difference is the elastic around the back of the waist on the Fuzzibunz - there's no elastic there on the disposables, so poop is free to ride right up the back. Not so with the Fuzzi's! 
• Also, as I mentioned, his diaper rash problems have disappeared completely. He had some heinous diaper rash when he was in disposables - to the point where his skin was cracking open and bleeding a little - so we were having to use an A&D and Desitin combo to clear it up, followed by A&D at every changing as a preventative measure. No longer the case.
• So far we haven't had to use a sprayer at all to remove solid waste from the fleece. Everything goes straight into the wet bag as-is and directly into the wash every other day. Once he starts on solids this will begin to change, but so long as you're working with exclusively-breastfed-baby poo, you're golden!
• For the record, we also haven't had a single issue with pee/poo odor or staining, nor has there ever been any left over poop residue in the washer. I know that many people are a little weirded out by the idea of putting dirty diapers in the same washer where they wash their clothes, but there's simply no reason to be concerned - nothing gets left behind!
• I feel great about the fact that I'm not contributing to the ever-growing waste problem plaguing our environment. I, for one, would like to leave behind a decent planet for my children and grandchildren to call home. It takes something like 150 years for a single diaper to degrade in a landfill, and we're filling our landfills with untold millions of them every day! YIKES!!! 

I'm sure that we will spend a bit more on our water bill as a result of the extra laundry loads, and in areas where water is expensive I can see that becoming an issue as far as cost-effectiveness. Luckily we don't pay a whole lot for water around here. We're actually using a less expensive detergent on the diapers than we use on our regular laundry (Arm & Hammer Free), since it's best to wash them in bare-bones detergent to prevent build up of any chemicals or residues on the fleece or minky that might affect their absorptive properties, and the baking soda helps to keep any odors in check. At any rate, over time, the cost-benefit ratio absolutely works out in our favor. If you don't believe me, check out the math. 

Suffice it to say that we are very happy with our decision to cloth diaper our little guy. It's saving us a lot of money and diaper rash woes, and it's a lot easier and far more convenient than you may think. I hope that you will consider it for your family, too!

To Feed, Or Not To Feed?

That is a silly question. Of course we feed our babies (though some people would argue against feeding in my situation, which blows my mind, but whatever). What I'm referring to is whether or not to start solids with the big man over here.

He has reached a whopping 17 pounds in a mere 3 1/2 months - he's a porker. When I discuss our night-feeding woes and people comment that he might be hitting a growth spurt, I giggle inside... his entire life seems to have been one big growth spurt! Of course they may very well be right - even giant babies grow at varying rates. It's just difficult to imagine him growing any faster than he has! Anyway, being a bigger baby, it makes sense that he would get hungry a lot and eat a lot. But for the longest time, he really didn't seem to get hungry at night. From about 7 weeks until about 14 weeks, he was sleeping through the night like a champ and we were spoiled rotten parents. It started out with about 5-6 hour stints and by 8 weeks it was consistently 7-8 hour stints, with an occasional 9. As I've outlined in previous posts, he would sleep from 10:30-11:30ish until 6:30-7:30ish, and after a diaper change and feeding would sleep again until 9ish, sometimes even 10!

As I mentioned in my last post, Eli has started waking up in the middle of the night to nurse, and we're just about back to newborn pace - up every 2-3 hours (sometimes even more frequently). Yes, it sucks a little bit for me. I do like sleeping, and it's hard having your sleep interrupted that frequently. In the middle of the night, I really just want to go back to sleep! But when I think about it in the light of day, my main concern is for him. Why is it that all of a sudden he isn't able to stay full through the night? Is he getting enough to eat? Is my supply keeping up? Is the quality of his sleep suffering? On the one hand, I know that it was unusual - the amount he was sleeping before - but on the other hand, that had become his "normal", and I feel that a change in what was "normal" for him is worth some consideration. I won't say "worry" - I know that babies go through phases and their patterns and routines change over time, so I'm not exactly "worried" - but I've been putting some thought into why it might be that things are changing, and considering ways that I might be able to help him.

He has picked up the pace on nursing during the day as well, so a growth spurt is quite possible, but this has been going on for at least 2 weeks now... seems like this is more of a new pattern than a temporary "spurt". It may be the result of a certain two tooth buds that I've spotted approaching the surface at the center of his bottom gums, but I'm obviously also considering the issue of hunger. Is it a supply issue? He doesn't seem to ever "run out" when he's nursing, but I suppose it's possible that my supply isn't keeping up and he's getting a little less for his effort and is falling asleep without getting as much as he needs to stay satisfied. The other possibility is that he just needs more than breastmilk in order to stay satisfied overnight, which has me considering cereal.

Our pediatrician said that we'd discuss cereal at his 4-month check-up (which is in ten days). I had originally thought that I'd want to postpone solids for as long as possible, in keeping with the AAP's recommendation that infants be exclusively breastfed until 6 months. Now that I'm in this situation, I find myself more concerned about making sure that my baby isn't constantly feeling hungry! I feel bad for him, being constantly woken up by hunger pangs! I suppose that's life as an infant, but then again, that didn't seem to be the case for all those weeks that he was sleeping through.

There's an awful lot to consider... rice vs oatmeal vs barley, MYO vs store-bought powdered stuff, and then there's the school of thought that encourages skipping right to mashed avocados or bananas or sweet potatoes! What's a first-time mom to do? I feel like my various concerns are all pointing to conflicting conclusions. I'm concerned about his little digestive system and its first exposure to solids, which leads me toward whatever is mildest on his tummy (probably store-bought powdered rice cereal). I don't want to exchange middle-of-the-night hunger pangs for middle-of-the-night bellyaches! But that is also the least nutritious option, and as a mother I want to err on the side of more nutrient-dense foods like MYO oatmeal from whole oats, maybe working toward adding mashed bananas or something like that as he is able to handle a thicker consistency.

It makes perfect sense to start as mild as possible, and it's only a matter of time before he can handle less processed foods that will be better for him. In the meantime, he's still being *almost* exclusively breastfed, so he's getting the nutrition he needs. Maybe I just need to be patient. But then again, if many people have success skipping the empty carbohydrates altogether and going straight for more nutritious foods, it seems like it's worth considering. Of course, there are lots of goofy people in the world that do all kinds of things with their babies that aren't the best/safest, so the fact that some people do it certainly doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. Just worth considering, I suppose.

At the end of the day, I think I've narrowed it down to a decision between rice and oatmeal cereal. Jumping straight to veggies/fruits is a little extreme for me, and based on previous conversations I don't think it's what my pediatrician will be recommending. As a medical person, I put a lot of stock in my pediatrician's advice - she's been caring for babies for decades now, has seen all kinds of different recommendations and practices come and go, and is plugged in to the most recent scientific research on these subjects. I know that there are many people who believe that the medical community has all sorts of hidden agendas that fuel their recommendations, but that's another topic for another post. Suffice it to say that I have a wonderful pediatrician - recommended by several other wonderful pediatrician friends of mine - who I really trust. Anyway, back to the rice vs oatmeal question... Oatmeal is a little more nutritious and tastes better (or so I hear), but my friend Lisa brought up the issue of gluten which is worth considering. Gluten can be tough even on adult digestive systems, and gluten allergies aren't terribly uncommon. But my sister-in-law's baby wouldn't touch rice cereal and ended up on oatmeal and did just fine. I guess I'd just have to be watchful for signs of an allergy or prolonged tummy troubles if I decided on oatmeal. But as Lisa pointed out, she started her first baby on oatmeal and then he refused rice cereal because it didn't taste as good, so if we did have an issue with oatmeal and needed to scale back to rice, we might be up a creek! GAH!

The more I talk (er, type) about it, the more I'm realizing that I just have some sort of weird issue with the idea of rice cereal. I guess it just sounds pretty gross to me, and I know that oatmeal isn't gross. But that's really not the point, now is it? After all of this back and forth, I have the feeling I'll be greeted with the perfect irony that his issue ends up being entirely related to teething or something, and starting solids isn't even going to help. It's pretty terrifying that so much of parenting ends up being trial and error!

Sleepy Mommy.

It's like having a newborn all over again.

My until-recently-awesome-sleeper (used to sleep thru consistently from
10:30 or 11 til 6:30 or 7, nurse, then go back down til 9 or so) has been replaced with some sort of wild, starving, nocturnal creature! It all started with him waking once or twice in the middle of the night, just squirming and grunting -  a pacifier always did the trick. Then he started waking up to eat in the middle of the night... He'd go down around 10:30 or 11, wake up and nurse around 2:30 or 3:30, wake up for his normal feeding around 6 or 7, and be up for the day around 9. Over the past week or so, he has started pushing bedtime backward - more like 10-10:30 now, and as early as 9:30. Then he added a 1:30ish feeding to the mix, and suddenly for the past two nights I've been up every 2-3 hours.

Last night? He was getting cranky and rubbing his eyes around 9. This is actually quite early for him, but I'm all about the baby-led routine so we follow his lead - there's no sense in fighting with a cranky baby for another hour just to stick to the "normal routine", since that routine is still evolving anyway. So we settled in for our last nursing session of the evening and he was in bed around 9:30. Much to my chagrin, he was up again at 12:30. TWELVE. THIRTY. What the heck? I tried rocking/walking/bouncing him back to sleep - he'd have none of it - so we nursed. About 15 minutes later, he was awake again. Holy crap. This time I just pulled him over into our bed and laid him on my chest, and he literally fell back to sleep almost instantly. Success! Back into the bassinet he went, after 5 minutes or so of snuggling to make sure he was good and OUT this time. Then, after what felt like about 10 minutes of sleep (but actually turned out to be about 2 1/2 hours), he was up again at 3:15. I tried the old snuggle-on-my-chest trick again, and again succeeded in lulling him back to sleep. I thought maybe I was onto something - maybe he just needed a little extra snuggling. But alas, it was only a temporary solution. Fifteen minutes later he was up again, and this time protesting quite a bit more adamantly. This time I got him up and changed his diaper in case that was part of what was bothering him, we nursed, and he was back in his bassinet around 4. Along came 6:15 and we were back at it again, nursing and going back to bed. 7:30 - awake and protesting again, but with eyes still shut and looking rather cranky, so I once again pulled him over into bed and snuggled him for a few minutes to put him back to sleep. By 8:30 it was uppy uppy time - he was laying in his bassinet, eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling, happily jabbering to himself (this is how I know that there's no more hope for sleep and I might as well just give it up).

Back to square one, or so it seems. Growth spurt? Teething? Bad karma? Who knows. Whatever it is, I'm gonna need at nap today.