It finally got me. Ben's entire family has been sick off and on for the past month, and he and I thought we had escaped it. In fact, just a few days ago I was talking to his mom about how amazing it was that he and I had avoided it. But, as luck would have it, we BOTH started with it yesterday. He felt crappy from the time he got home from work - it didn't start for me until about 11 last night. My throat started feeling scratchy, and my head started feeling fuzzy, and my nose got all plugged... and now here I am. Ugh. I feel about the same today, except my head is pounding, too. I'm trying not to take any meds until I've been to the doctor - I'm going in this afternoon to get a strep test. Ben's family didn't have strep, but my supervisor at work did, so I want to check on that before the weekend so I can get started on an antibiotic if need be.
Ben, of course, went to work today despite feeling like "a hat full of smashed assholes" (his words, of course. Where did I find this guy???). That's what pisses me off about his leave plan at work. His sick leave and vacation time are all in one pool now, so he's not really given any allocated sick time. He feels like he can never miss a day of work because he'll have to use up his vacation time, which he needs to save for the wedding and the honeymoon and our July 4th trip and such. I really think that if you're sick and you get a doctor's note, it shouldn't be counted against you. If you can't produce a doctor's note, then fine - you lose the leave time. But people can't help it when they're sick, and the last thing we need is for sick people to be trudging to work anyway and infecting everyone else because they don't want to lose the leave - it's a public health issue. Not to mention that when people have kids, they're even less likely to take sick leave for themselves, thinking they need to save it up for when their kids get sick and need them. But do people with kids get extra sick leave? Of course not. The entire concept of an employer telling you how many days you're allowed to be sick per year has always boggled my mind. This is why, when I'm a doctor and I get burned out on seeing patients, I'm going to DC to work on health policy.
I'm in a different scenario because I'm not a government employee, I'm on a fellowship. I'm not really an "employee" of anyone. I don't accrue any kind of leave at all. Technically I'm allowed 2 weeks of leave per year as part of my stipend, plus travel time for interviews because I'm required to be applying to grad or med school as part of the position. So basically, what it boils down to is that I'm at the mercy of my boss when it comes to leave, and luckily my boss isn't a hard ass about that sort of thing. Lucky for me, since I used up those two weeks in my first month of work when I had pneumonia! I feel particularly guilty about being sick this week, because I already took Tuesday and Wednesday off because my car looked like a popsicle and my street was an ice rink. It's not like I'm in control of being sick, but I still feel bad. That's what the whole "accruing leave" system does to the psyche! Makes you feel guilty for being SICK! Ridiculous.
What really ticks me off about being sick is that I can't go work out. When you get into the habit of going, it's SO easy to keep it up! A nice long weekend of lounging on the couch and trying to get better is the PERFECT way to lose your motivation. Ben and I have been doing SO well, and I'm SO afraid this will ruin us! Last night at the gym, I was feeling GREAT on the treadmill - I was much less tired than usual and feeling like I was going to set a new personal record, but then my stomach started feeling like hell. I was so mad! Grr. Maybe if I just think really hard about getting better all day today, I'll get better faster :) I'm gonna go do that.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
How to lose your ever-lovin' mind
I think I'm finally reaching the point that everyone warned me about, and I think it's FAR too early in the process for me to be here. Today, January 29th, is the official 4-month mark. Does this mean I have 4 months of teetering on the edge of insanity to look forward to? Does this mean that I have four months to actually fall over the edge INTO insanity? Doesn't that seem a little too probable? I mean, 120 days is a lot of days. I figure right now my chance of dropping off the edge is about 20% - each day when I wake up in the morning, there's a 1 in 5 chance that I'll completely lose it. That means that, of the 120 days left, 24 of them will probably be "nearing the edge" days. Flirting with the edge 24 times, I'd put my own money on the fact that I'll fall at some point. Call it what you will... falling over the edge, going "bakatatti" as my mother would say, going batty, losing it... whatever the colloquialism, it all spells doom for me.
EVERY DAY I find something to get nervous about. EVERY DAY. One day it's my gown, then it's the photography, or the size of the guest list, or someone making a scene after "tii-many martooni's" at the open bar, or the price of the tuxedos, or OMG what if it RAINS?!?!, or if I can afford to buy a veil and shoes and pretty flip flops and jewelry (which I didn't include in the budget, like an idiot), or if my pastor will be ordained by the wedding date (that's legitimate actually), or whether we can find dates for parties that ALL of my bridesmaids can attend, or if I'll actually be looking good for the wedding after all this working out... This is all SOOOOO STUUUPID!!! At least I can still see that - maybe I'm not as close to the edge as I think I am. My mom tells me not to worry, my dad rolls his eyes, Ben just completely doesn't understand what it is I'm worried about most of the time because it's something insignificant in his eyes... Em usually listens to me and sympathizes and tells me it's all going to be beautiful, which helps :) But, nonetheless, I wake up the next day with something else to obsess about. I think I need a massage or a hypnotist or something. I literally get OBSESSIVE about these things! I google them all day at work, I write e-mails and then stare at my inbox waiting for someone to reply... it's like I NEED to worry about things. What I NEED is a vacation!
I think I might be clinically obsessive about this wedding. I have GOT to find myself a diversion. Applying to medical school was helpful, but that's all but over now, and I'm at a loss. I guess when we start looking for a new place (in March) I'll have something else to worry about, and then we'll be painting and decorating and moving and shopping. I know work (like, WORK work) is going to pick up for me soon too, which *hopefully* will keep my mind occupied during the day. I'm also hoping that admitting this out loud will shame my subconscious into chilling the f*** OUT, before this gets out of hand and everyone starts truly believing that I've lost my ever-lovin' mind. THAT would be embarrassing...
EVERY DAY I find something to get nervous about. EVERY DAY. One day it's my gown, then it's the photography, or the size of the guest list, or someone making a scene after "tii-many martooni's" at the open bar, or the price of the tuxedos, or OMG what if it RAINS?!?!, or if I can afford to buy a veil and shoes and pretty flip flops and jewelry (which I didn't include in the budget, like an idiot), or if my pastor will be ordained by the wedding date (that's legitimate actually), or whether we can find dates for parties that ALL of my bridesmaids can attend, or if I'll actually be looking good for the wedding after all this working out... This is all SOOOOO STUUUPID!!! At least I can still see that - maybe I'm not as close to the edge as I think I am. My mom tells me not to worry, my dad rolls his eyes, Ben just completely doesn't understand what it is I'm worried about most of the time because it's something insignificant in his eyes... Em usually listens to me and sympathizes and tells me it's all going to be beautiful, which helps :) But, nonetheless, I wake up the next day with something else to obsess about. I think I need a massage or a hypnotist or something. I literally get OBSESSIVE about these things! I google them all day at work, I write e-mails and then stare at my inbox waiting for someone to reply... it's like I NEED to worry about things. What I NEED is a vacation!
I think I might be clinically obsessive about this wedding. I have GOT to find myself a diversion. Applying to medical school was helpful, but that's all but over now, and I'm at a loss. I guess when we start looking for a new place (in March) I'll have something else to worry about, and then we'll be painting and decorating and moving and shopping. I know work (like, WORK work) is going to pick up for me soon too, which *hopefully* will keep my mind occupied during the day. I'm also hoping that admitting this out loud will shame my subconscious into chilling the f*** OUT, before this gets out of hand and everyone starts truly believing that I've lost my ever-lovin' mind. THAT would be embarrassing...
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Snow Day!
...Because I said so :) It wasn't declared by the federal government, but I'm not slipping and sliding my ass all the way to Bethesda and then REALLY slipping and sliding my ass all the way home, only to sit in hours of traffic both ways and get in a few hours of work time. Our street is completely covered, and it's only supposed to pick up as the day progresses. Tomorrow will probably be ANOTHER self-declared snow day, since it's supposed to turn to a wintry mix tonight and keep icing all morning and most of the day tomorrow. Actually, the fed might close for that, because the ice might close the metro. In any case, the ice is closing down THIS operation, I'll tell you that much.
I am getting SO uncontrollably EXCITED about my wedding day! It's actually coming up soon... I'd say 4 months is pretty soon, given the fact that it's already been 6 and a half months since we started planning, and THAT sure flew by! I just can't wait to have all of my favorite people together in one place, and to show everyone all the hard work I've done! ...And of course, to marry the love of my life :) There IS that added bonus! Kissing him good-bye every evening and watching him walk out to his car in the freezing cold just breaks my heart :'( We keep thinking about that one wonderful day when we get to come home to each other, with no one else around, to just hang out and do whatever we need or want to do for the evening, and then go up to bed together and cuddle up close for the night! He does spend the night on the weekends, which is just enough of a tease to make us miss it like crazy during the week! It gives us something to look forward to, though, and it's part of the reason we didn't want to live together before we got married. We wanted something to change after our wedding day - something to look forward to. The main driving force, of course, was to do things the way that God would have us do them, which automatically precludes cohabitating. We're probably cheating as it is by sleeping in the same bed on the weekends, but we just got so spoiled for a while there and now it's like an addiction we can't give up. Our original plan was to cut it off after January first, but I just couldn't do it! Ben kept talking about it and how it was coming up, and I just kept telling him "ha. that's not happening." OH well. We're doing our best!
I think, for today, my plan is to look at shoes and veils, and to continue looking for flower and hair ideas. I think I know what shoes I'm getting, but I'm trying to decide whether they'll match my dress or whether I'll dye them a fun color :) Ben, of course, thinks I'm crazy. "Your shoes are supposed to be white, aren't they? Why would you buy RED shoes for our WEDDING?" He doesn't get fashion statements. I was looking at red shoes at Nine West the other day at Arundel Mills Mall while we waited for my engagement ring to be replated. It was getting yellow already, so we took it to Jared and they did the 6-month cleaning and inspection and replated it for free. YAY for warranties! Anyway, the Nine West shopping came AFTER we wandered around Bass Pro Shops for a while, so I didn't feel too guilty :) I did find shoes for Sam's wedding - not at Nine West, but at another shoe store in the mall. She wanted us to get shiny silver shoes to match her purple and silver color scheme (funny how she's having a Raven's wedding... Redskins fan that she is!!! Haha ;) ) , so I found a pair of shiny silver Steve Maddens with a low heel (key for surviving bridesmaid duties on the wedding day!) on sale for $20! Holler! I LOVE Steve Madden shoes, so I was a happy girl. Anyway, back to my plan for today... I think I know what style of veil and hair I want - the key is finding an inexpensive veil! ACK! SO pricey! Like they're using expensive materials or something. And I'm working on getting over my calla lily obsession and finding some other beautiful flowers to use, because I really don't want to have to risk using the online distributor on my wedding day. I just don't want that stress. I still might use a few in my bouquet, but I can't afford to use them for all the bridesmaids unfortunately. It would've been so lovely... And I haven't given up completely, but I e-mailed the online distributor to ask for a sample and they still haven't gotten back to me - it's been over a week now. Hmm. So we'll see.
I'm gonna go get to work making my wedding day perfect! Hope the rest of you who are enjoying a snow day today make the most of it! SIT ON YOUR BUTTS AND CHILL!
I am getting SO uncontrollably EXCITED about my wedding day! It's actually coming up soon... I'd say 4 months is pretty soon, given the fact that it's already been 6 and a half months since we started planning, and THAT sure flew by! I just can't wait to have all of my favorite people together in one place, and to show everyone all the hard work I've done! ...And of course, to marry the love of my life :) There IS that added bonus! Kissing him good-bye every evening and watching him walk out to his car in the freezing cold just breaks my heart :'( We keep thinking about that one wonderful day when we get to come home to each other, with no one else around, to just hang out and do whatever we need or want to do for the evening, and then go up to bed together and cuddle up close for the night! He does spend the night on the weekends, which is just enough of a tease to make us miss it like crazy during the week! It gives us something to look forward to, though, and it's part of the reason we didn't want to live together before we got married. We wanted something to change after our wedding day - something to look forward to. The main driving force, of course, was to do things the way that God would have us do them, which automatically precludes cohabitating. We're probably cheating as it is by sleeping in the same bed on the weekends, but we just got so spoiled for a while there and now it's like an addiction we can't give up. Our original plan was to cut it off after January first, but I just couldn't do it! Ben kept talking about it and how it was coming up, and I just kept telling him "ha. that's not happening." OH well. We're doing our best!
I think, for today, my plan is to look at shoes and veils, and to continue looking for flower and hair ideas. I think I know what shoes I'm getting, but I'm trying to decide whether they'll match my dress or whether I'll dye them a fun color :) Ben, of course, thinks I'm crazy. "Your shoes are supposed to be white, aren't they? Why would you buy RED shoes for our WEDDING?" He doesn't get fashion statements. I was looking at red shoes at Nine West the other day at Arundel Mills Mall while we waited for my engagement ring to be replated. It was getting yellow already, so we took it to Jared and they did the 6-month cleaning and inspection and replated it for free. YAY for warranties! Anyway, the Nine West shopping came AFTER we wandered around Bass Pro Shops for a while, so I didn't feel too guilty :) I did find shoes for Sam's wedding - not at Nine West, but at another shoe store in the mall. She wanted us to get shiny silver shoes to match her purple and silver color scheme (funny how she's having a Raven's wedding... Redskins fan that she is!!! Haha ;) ) , so I found a pair of shiny silver Steve Maddens with a low heel (key for surviving bridesmaid duties on the wedding day!) on sale for $20! Holler! I LOVE Steve Madden shoes, so I was a happy girl. Anyway, back to my plan for today... I think I know what style of veil and hair I want - the key is finding an inexpensive veil! ACK! SO pricey! Like they're using expensive materials or something. And I'm working on getting over my calla lily obsession and finding some other beautiful flowers to use, because I really don't want to have to risk using the online distributor on my wedding day. I just don't want that stress. I still might use a few in my bouquet, but I can't afford to use them for all the bridesmaids unfortunately. It would've been so lovely... And I haven't given up completely, but I e-mailed the online distributor to ask for a sample and they still haven't gotten back to me - it's been over a week now. Hmm. So we'll see.
I'm gonna go get to work making my wedding day perfect! Hope the rest of you who are enjoying a snow day today make the most of it! SIT ON YOUR BUTTS AND CHILL!
Snow Day!
...Because I said so :) It wasn't declared by the federal government, but I'm not slipping and sliding my ass all the way to Bethesda and then REALLY slipping and sliding my ass all the way home, only to sit in hours of traffic both ways and get in a few hours of work time. Our street is completely covered, and it's only supposed to pick up as the day progresses. Tomorrow will probably be ANOTHER self-declared snow day, since it's supposed to turn to a wintry mix tonight and keep icing all morning and most of the day tomorrow. Actually, the fed might close for that, because the ice might close the metro. In any case, the ice is closing down THIS operation, I'll tell you that much.
I am getting SO uncontrollably EXCITED about my wedding day! It's actually coming up soon... I'd say 4 months is pretty soon, given the fact that it's already been 6 and a half months since we started planning, and THAT sure flew by! I just can't wait to have all of my favorite people together in one place, and to show everyone all the hard work I've done! ...And of course, to marry the love of my life :) There IS that added bonus! Kissing him good-bye every evening and watching him walk out to his car in the freezing cold just breaks my heart :'( We keep thinking about that one wonderful day when we get to come home to each other, with no one else around, to just hang out and do whatever we need or want to do for the evening, and then go up to bed together and cuddle up close for the night! He does spend the night on the weekends, which is just enough of a tease to make us miss it like crazy during the week! It gives us something to look forward to, though, and it's part of the reason we didn't want to live together before we got married. We wanted something to change after our wedding day - something to look forward to. The main driving force, of course, was to do things the way that God would have us do them, which automatically precludes cohabitating. We're probably cheating as it is by sleeping in the same bed on the weekends, but we just got so spoiled for a while there and now it's like an addiction we can't give up. Our original plan was to cut it off after January first, but I just couldn't do it! Ben kept talking about it and how it was coming up, and I just kept telling him "ha. that's not happening." OH well. We're doing our best!
I think, for today, my plan is to look at shoes and veils, and to continue looking for flower and hair ideas. I think I know what shoes I'm getting, but I'm trying to decide whether they'll match my dress or whether I'll dye them a fun color :) Ben, of course, thinks I'm crazy. "Your shoes are supposed to be white, aren't they? Why would you buy RED shoes for our WEDDING?" He doesn't get fashion statements. I was looking at red shoes at Nine West the other day at Arundel Mills Mall while we waited for my engagement ring to be replated. It was getting yellow already, so we took it to Jared and they did the 6-month cleaning and inspection and replated it for free. YAY for warranties! Anyway, the Nine West shopping came AFTER we wandered around Bass Pro Shops for a while, so I didn't feel too guilty :) I did find shoes for Sam's wedding - not at Nine West, but at another shoe store in the mall. She wanted us to get shiny silver shoes to match her purple and silver color scheme (funny how she's having a Raven's wedding... Redskins fan that she is!!! Haha ;) ) , so I found a pair of shiny silver Steve Maddens with a low heel (key for surviving bridesmaid duties on the wedding day!) on sale for $20! Holler! I LOVE Steve Madden shoes, so I was a happy girl. Anyway, back to my plan for today... I think I know what style of veil and hair I want - the key is finding an inexpensive veil! ACK! SO pricey! Like they're using expensive materials or something. And I'm working on getting over my calla lily obsession and finding some other beautiful flowers to use, because I really don't want to have to risk using the online distributor on my wedding day. I just don't want that stress. I still might use a few in my bouquet, but I can't afford to use them for all the bridesmaids unfortunately. It would've been so lovely... And I haven't given up completely, but I e-mailed the online distributor to ask for a sample and they still haven't gotten back to me - it's been over a week now. Hmm. So we'll see.
I'm gonna go get to work making my wedding day perfect! Hope the rest of you who are enjoying a snow day today make the most of it! SIT ON YOUR BUTTS AND CHILL!
I am getting SO uncontrollably EXCITED about my wedding day! It's actually coming up soon... I'd say 4 months is pretty soon, given the fact that it's already been 6 and a half months since we started planning, and THAT sure flew by! I just can't wait to have all of my favorite people together in one place, and to show everyone all the hard work I've done! ...And of course, to marry the love of my life :) There IS that added bonus! Kissing him good-bye every evening and watching him walk out to his car in the freezing cold just breaks my heart :'( We keep thinking about that one wonderful day when we get to come home to each other, with no one else around, to just hang out and do whatever we need or want to do for the evening, and then go up to bed together and cuddle up close for the night! He does spend the night on the weekends, which is just enough of a tease to make us miss it like crazy during the week! It gives us something to look forward to, though, and it's part of the reason we didn't want to live together before we got married. We wanted something to change after our wedding day - something to look forward to. The main driving force, of course, was to do things the way that God would have us do them, which automatically precludes cohabitating. We're probably cheating as it is by sleeping in the same bed on the weekends, but we just got so spoiled for a while there and now it's like an addiction we can't give up. Our original plan was to cut it off after January first, but I just couldn't do it! Ben kept talking about it and how it was coming up, and I just kept telling him "ha. that's not happening." OH well. We're doing our best!
I think, for today, my plan is to look at shoes and veils, and to continue looking for flower and hair ideas. I think I know what shoes I'm getting, but I'm trying to decide whether they'll match my dress or whether I'll dye them a fun color :) Ben, of course, thinks I'm crazy. "Your shoes are supposed to be white, aren't they? Why would you buy RED shoes for our WEDDING?" He doesn't get fashion statements. I was looking at red shoes at Nine West the other day at Arundel Mills Mall while we waited for my engagement ring to be replated. It was getting yellow already, so we took it to Jared and they did the 6-month cleaning and inspection and replated it for free. YAY for warranties! Anyway, the Nine West shopping came AFTER we wandered around Bass Pro Shops for a while, so I didn't feel too guilty :) I did find shoes for Sam's wedding - not at Nine West, but at another shoe store in the mall. She wanted us to get shiny silver shoes to match her purple and silver color scheme (funny how she's having a Raven's wedding... Redskins fan that she is!!! Haha ;) ) , so I found a pair of shiny silver Steve Maddens with a low heel (key for surviving bridesmaid duties on the wedding day!) on sale for $20! Holler! I LOVE Steve Madden shoes, so I was a happy girl. Anyway, back to my plan for today... I think I know what style of veil and hair I want - the key is finding an inexpensive veil! ACK! SO pricey! Like they're using expensive materials or something. And I'm working on getting over my calla lily obsession and finding some other beautiful flowers to use, because I really don't want to have to risk using the online distributor on my wedding day. I just don't want that stress. I still might use a few in my bouquet, but I can't afford to use them for all the bridesmaids unfortunately. It would've been so lovely... And I haven't given up completely, but I e-mailed the online distributor to ask for a sample and they still haven't gotten back to me - it's been over a week now. Hmm. So we'll see.
I'm gonna go get to work making my wedding day perfect! Hope the rest of you who are enjoying a snow day today make the most of it! SIT ON YOUR BUTTS AND CHILL!
Monday, January 26, 2009
HONEYMOOOOOOON!
Thought I'd let you all in on the latest news... Our honeymoon is booked! YAY! We were waiting on Ben's parents' timeshare to come through, and we got our second choice resort in Cancun! It's the Omni, and it's a BEAUTIFUL 5-star beachfront resort! We also booked non-stop flights in and out of BWI, leaving and arriving at VERY convenient times (we don't have to leave til 10:30am the day after the wedding! SWEET!) and it cost less than $900 round-trip for both of us, and that includes taxes and fees and such. Of course Ben's parents are taking care of that anyway :) Here are some pics...
hotel lobby - swanky!
paradise - it's 79 degrees there right now...
grass huts - how can you go wrong??
beds on the beach? probably for the spa. We're totally doing that.
the rooms are niiiiiiice
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Trying not to be one of THOSE...
Alright, I try REALLY hard to avoid being one of THOSE brides. You know what I'm talking about. One of those brides who, by 5 months out, you try to avoid speaking to because she won't SHUT UP. I've known many girls who got married, and some were better than others, but I learned enough about how irritating it can be that I do pay attention to my own behavior. However, there are certain people who, because of their involvement, simply cannot be spared from it. Ben's sister Emily, for instance, gets the brunt of it. She's my matron of honor, and I probably see her once every week or two on average, and a week or two in the life of my wedding planning is usually jam-packed with progress these days. My mom, who I ride to work with every single morning, gets a lot of it too, but it gets diluted with work-talk, and since she gets the progress report in small bits every day, it's probably easier to take. And I don't feel bad with her, because she got married last March and she was DEFINITELY one of THOSE about her wedding, so I feel that gives me a certain amount of leeway to drive her nuts with my wedding banter :) I love you, Mom. Ben's mom also gets a lot of it, but she always seems so excited to hear about it! If she does get irritated with me, she sure has a funny way of showing it. I think it takes A LOT to truly drive her nuts, given the kind of person she is and the kind of irritation she puts up with on an almost daily basis. If you know her, you know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, lately, I just feel like I've been inching closer and closer to that fine line between "awww, she's so excited" and "oh my gosh SHUT UP!!!". Sometimes I just can't help myself! I want to tell people about my conundrums and choices I'm trying to decide between and such so that I can get a broad spectrum of opinions. I don't know if I'm any different from any other bride, but I have a stronger creative streak than I ever thought I had which has come out in a big way these last couple of months, and I REALLY care what this whole thing looks like. Every detail of it. I know that no one else cares what my place cards - excuse me, escort cards - look like, but I have this (probaby irrational) belief that every little detail can contribute to the overall feel of the event, and I want it all to work together. I want people to be impressed, damnit! And then there's my fear that people won't realize that I did all of it. Maybe people will assume that Turf Valley printed the escort cards and arranged them on the table with candles and INCREDIBLY tasteful flower arrangements. Maybe they'll think that Turf Valley decorated my aisle or supplied my centerpieces. Oh my goodness, I just can't think about it. Ack! When you put so much time and creative energy and MONEY and heart and soul into something, you want everyone to know how hard YOU worked. Turf Valley is making the food and setting it out/serving it - that's about it. Just so you know :) The decorating credit goes to me, and the fun credit goes to Jason, our stellar DJ, and Em and Josh, who found him first! There, I've said it.
So... while we're talking about wedding stuff... :) SO much has happened lately! Ooo, and I have a story for you! This post is going to be long, I can see it already. Where to start... our invitations arrived, and they are beautiful and everything I wanted them to be! And NOT expensive, which made me SO happy! I had no idea (pre-engagement) that invitations could cost thousands of dollars. I just didn't know that paper and ink could command that kind of coin. It's unreal.
I went to the florist last weekend, only to find out that the flowers I wanted to use for our bridesmaid bouquets (not to mention for MINE) are $9 a stem. And that's at the inexpensive florist where we live. We came up with some other ideas that I think I could be happy with, and I also found an online distributor that I can buy in bulk from (80 stems for $200) and afford my original idea, but that makes me nervous. My florist said she'd use them if I really wanted to try it, but that she'd be a little worried (if they show up and they suck, I can get a refund eventually but that won't get me flowers for my wedding day). This really was my DREAM for wedding flowers, and I really want to make it happen, but I don't want to take a stupid risk and be SCREWED on my wedding day. That's really the last thing I need. Any thoughts? I feel like if I decide not to go through with the online distributor, I need to re-think the whole thing. Which is fine, but it makes me a little sad :'(
We went to a bridal show at Turf Valley this past Friday where we got to taste lots of Turf Valley food and check out some vendors (though I already have most of those things taken care of). The hors d’oeuvres were great - I was fairly impressed, though I had already heard such great things about them that I was expecting greatness. You can look forward to bacon-wrapped scallops and crab & artichoke fondue at our cocktail hour, I'll tell you that much :) And the dinner was simply DELICIOUS. We had filet mignon that was about an inch and a half thick, cooked perfectly medium, and melt-in-your-mouth tender. Definitely planning on serving that. The filet was accompanied by three gigantic shrimp stuffed with delectable crab imperial - unfortunately you all won't be enjoying that delicacy on our day (too rich for our blood). But it gave me great confidence in the TVR chefs! I talked to another girl who's getting married there in March - she was sitting at our table - and she said that "they don't do tastings". The bridal show is apparently it. To that, I say BULLSHIT. I will not serve food that I haven't tasted, and since not all of us can afford filet and stuffed shrimp, they need to provide another opportunity to taste something else. I have never heard of such a practice - NOT doing tastings as a general rule - and I will not accept it. I WILL get bridezilla on their asses over this. I hate to do it, because my catering lady is a doll, but it's ridiculous and unacceptable to me.
***I need to pause. Barack Obama is arriving on the inaugural platform. Have you ever seen such enthusiasm and excitement at an inauguration? It's like a pep rally! I'm so excited for this country. Say what you will about the democrats as a whole, but this man is special. No one can deny that. The way he has already brought people together is simply incredible. He won't be able to keep every single promise he's made, and he won't achieve peace in the middle east, but he's going to do great things for this country. He loves this country so much, he cares so much, and he wants so much for all of us. This is a wonderful day! I hope we can all try to heal from the past and look forward with hopeful optimism - things can't help but change after today, and we can either look forward with hope and embrace it, or look back with anger and resist it. Let's show the world how united we can be, and what we're capable of when we do unite.
Whew. Dry the tears. Back to the bridal show... we all had a GREAT time :) Ben was there (I wouldn't have asked him to come if it weren't for the food tasting business, which he really needed to be involved in), along with both of our moms and Ben's two sisters. Ben and his sisters provided the entertainment for the evening - they are a riot when they all get together and they're all in the right mood! I love how close they are and how much fun they have together. I'm so glad that my kids will have that kind of example to look to as they grow up. It seems like so many grown siblings avoid each other like the plague, dislike and even "hate" eachother. It's so sad. And since I don't have any siblings, it's comforting to know that my kids will still have an example of what family really means between siblings. And it's been such a joy to become one of their siblings myself over time, and to get to be involved in that. I really feel like I've been able to experience some of what it's like to have siblings through Ben and his sisters, with the added benefit that I essentially get only the good parts :) Growing up I always told my friends that I wished I had siblings, and they all UNANIMOUSLY and emphatically replied, "NO YOU DON'T!!!"I guess I got to miss out on the annoying parts and just enjoy the fun parts. Plus there are no brothers in my scenario here :)
On with the wedding stuff... I think we've decided on tuxes, which was a bit of a battle. Maybe "battle" isn't the right word, but it was difficult. His perspective focuses on the individual groomsman. Will he look good? Will he feel "gay"? Will he ever forgive me for making him wear this? Like his friends will hate him for life if there is so much as a stripe of purple in their entire ensemble. He's very concerned about this. And, realistically, his groomsmen are HIS friends, and he should get to choose what they wear. They're his guys. But seriously, if I left it up to him... I shudder to think of the outcome. If you've seen Dumb and Dumber, I'm thinking something along those lines. So I do need to have some input. For the sake of my photos, I need some input. My perspective, on the other hand, focuses on the entire picture. All 11 of them (8 groomsmen, an usher, a ring bearer and Ben) standing in a row, side by side. The entire bridal party - girls in a row on one side and guys in a row on the other, with Ben and I in the middle. I'm putting the colors together in my mind and trying to keep things balanced, trying to make sure they look sharp but not overly formal for our outdoor garden ceremony, thinking about how they'll look at the reception when their jackets are off and they're just wearing a shirt, vest and tie (and pants, of course!). These things aren't exactly on Ben's radar. He's just freaking out about the "gay" factor. So anyway, he could decide in about three minutes if given a book of 5 tuxedo samples and 5 vest & tie combinations. Just as long as it isn't the least bit "feminine", he's in. The problem comes when the bride has planned for dark red and deep purple dress/flower combinations, and wants the groomsmen to match. HERE we go. So I think we've found a reasonable compromise. The girls are wearing dark red dresses, so the guys will have dark red vests and ties. There, they match. And without going into too much detail (I don't want to give it all away before the big day!), Ben also got to infuse a little of his own personality into the ensemble (by my suggestion, of course, because I know him better than he knows himself). We went to two different places and looked and samples (with the intention of making decisions and setting things up for real) and had to just come home and mull it over because I just couldn't do it on the spot. I felt like he was a little annoyed, although he claimed to be fine, but in the end we made a decision that we're both much happier with. I think we would've just felt rushed and pressured and just picked something if we had stayed at the store. We tried to go back yesterday to set things up since we've made our decision, but then it SNOWED all morning and afternoon. We left for the bridal shop, and turned around about 3/4 of a mile from my house when we slid out onto Route 32. Oh well.
And finally, here's "the story" I said I had for you. It's not that great of a story - don't get too excited - but it deserves telling. We went to the bakery on Saturday for our cake tasting and design appointment. Important background info - Turf Valley pays for our cake as part of our package, so we didn't have a choice on who to use, but it's Debi's Cake Studio and she has won The Knot's "Best of Weddings" awards so I wasn't worried or upset about not having a choice. It's not like it's some random crappy place that no one has ever heard of. If The Knot approves, how bad can it be? So anyway, back to the story. We plugged the address into my new GPS and the Garmin couldn't find it. Hmm. On the business card, the city was "Baltimore" but I knew the road name and I knew it probably wasn't inside the beltway so I tried Catonsville, but it didn't find the address there either. When I just typed the address in without specifying a city first, the Garmin found it in Pikesville. Ahh. Makes sense based on my knowledge of where that road is. So we set out for Pikesville, though we were a little hesitant since the Garmin didn't find it initially. So, if you know Route 26, as you head east it quickly becomes a questionable area. Once you pass Lyons Mill Road, you enter Randallstown and then Pikesville and then you begin to feel the urge to lock your doors. We followed the GPS's directions, and it took us into this industrial park type area. Hmm. When we arrived at the address listed on the business card, the front of the building looked nice (MUCH nicer than the surrounding abandoned-looking buildings!), but the sign was for a mortgage company. Again, Hmm. We could see around the side of the building a beat-up, old sign that said "Try our Cheesecakes" hanging on a chain link fence. It did say something about cake, but I thought "surely this can't be it". So I called, but sure enough, the lady on the other end said "Yeah, just park around the side of the mortgage company building, walk through the chain link fence and come in the side door!" Great. I love to hear "just walk through the chain link fence" when I'm going to taste wedding cake. So we parked, put Ben's radar detector and my GPS in my purse, double-checked the locks, and went inside. Here's the scene: Not a light on in the place, we enter through a long, concrete hallway. There's a door on the right - dark inside. There's an entryway on the left, opening to a huge warehouse-like space, also all concrete and dark, except for the light coming from the very end of it where we could see lots of mixers and ovens and such. So it is, in fact, a bakery. Slightly reassuring. We continued to the end of the hallway looking for signs of life, only to find another large, open room with some crap in it, but no people. We turned around and began to walk back through the hallway, thinking we must have missed something, and when we passed the huge warehouse-like space and looked in again, a short, rotund little lady said "Hi! You can go into the office - Debi will be right with you!" as she shuffled toward us. We're thinking "Office? You say that as if there's actually an office out here..." So we went through that first dark door that we had seen on the way in. Sure enough, when Ben flicked on the lights, it was an office. A large, old, cluttered office, but an office nonetheless. There were two separate workstations, both equally covered in papers and crap, a few 60's "leather" couches in the middle with some sort of coffee table, like a makeshift waiting area, and a small table with a few chairs around it and a cruddy-looking vinyl tablecloth that had definitely seen better (and cleaner) days. I assumed that this would be the table where we'd taste cake samples. I was right. Ugh. This little lady tried to settle us in and gave us a few falling-apart portfolio books to look at while we waited. We knew that the "good" books were probably still in someone's car, because we had looked at them the night before at the bridal show where we first met Debi. I could forgive a little bit of disorganization the day after a bridal show that they had participated in. But the presentation of this business was, in a word, atrocious. When she left us to wait for Debi, Ben and I commented on how horrified we were that Turf Valley would send people to this place. I don't mean to be snooty, but we are spending A LOT of money with these people. And I'm sure we're on the modest end of the money that Turf Valley brings in for weddings - I can't imagine them sending the REAL money-spenders to this place. I could definitely see people turning around and leaving without even getting out of the car, only having seen the outside of the building. It was just unreal. The cake was delicious, Debi was very sweet and accomodating of our ideas, and her cakes look beautiful - I have no concerns about how our cake will turn out. But the experience was just ridiculous. All she needs to do is pick up her plate of cake samples and a few portfolio books, get in the car, and meet people in a hotel lobby or something. If she can't keep up with the clutter or whatever, then DON'T BRING CUSTOMERS THERE! Ack! I think I'm going to say something to our Catering lady at Turf Valley. I don't want Debi to lose business, because she's a very nice lady and I'm sure she's going to do a great job, but Turf Valley should really be more concerned with the presentation of the business that they're forcing their customers to use. Yikes!
So, this post has gotten ridiculous and I think it's time to let you all go. Thanks for reading and letting me expel some of my bridal gushing, for the sake of those who have to live with me on a daily basis :) They thank you, I'm sure.
Anyway, lately, I just feel like I've been inching closer and closer to that fine line between "awww, she's so excited" and "oh my gosh SHUT UP!!!". Sometimes I just can't help myself! I want to tell people about my conundrums and choices I'm trying to decide between and such so that I can get a broad spectrum of opinions. I don't know if I'm any different from any other bride, but I have a stronger creative streak than I ever thought I had which has come out in a big way these last couple of months, and I REALLY care what this whole thing looks like. Every detail of it. I know that no one else cares what my place cards - excuse me, escort cards - look like, but I have this (probaby irrational) belief that every little detail can contribute to the overall feel of the event, and I want it all to work together. I want people to be impressed, damnit! And then there's my fear that people won't realize that I did all of it. Maybe people will assume that Turf Valley printed the escort cards and arranged them on the table with candles and INCREDIBLY tasteful flower arrangements. Maybe they'll think that Turf Valley decorated my aisle or supplied my centerpieces. Oh my goodness, I just can't think about it. Ack! When you put so much time and creative energy and MONEY and heart and soul into something, you want everyone to know how hard YOU worked. Turf Valley is making the food and setting it out/serving it - that's about it. Just so you know :) The decorating credit goes to me, and the fun credit goes to Jason, our stellar DJ, and Em and Josh, who found him first! There, I've said it.
So... while we're talking about wedding stuff... :) SO much has happened lately! Ooo, and I have a story for you! This post is going to be long, I can see it already. Where to start... our invitations arrived, and they are beautiful and everything I wanted them to be! And NOT expensive, which made me SO happy! I had no idea (pre-engagement) that invitations could cost thousands of dollars. I just didn't know that paper and ink could command that kind of coin. It's unreal.
I went to the florist last weekend, only to find out that the flowers I wanted to use for our bridesmaid bouquets (not to mention for MINE) are $9 a stem. And that's at the inexpensive florist where we live. We came up with some other ideas that I think I could be happy with, and I also found an online distributor that I can buy in bulk from (80 stems for $200) and afford my original idea, but that makes me nervous. My florist said she'd use them if I really wanted to try it, but that she'd be a little worried (if they show up and they suck, I can get a refund eventually but that won't get me flowers for my wedding day). This really was my DREAM for wedding flowers, and I really want to make it happen, but I don't want to take a stupid risk and be SCREWED on my wedding day. That's really the last thing I need. Any thoughts? I feel like if I decide not to go through with the online distributor, I need to re-think the whole thing. Which is fine, but it makes me a little sad :'(
We went to a bridal show at Turf Valley this past Friday where we got to taste lots of Turf Valley food and check out some vendors (though I already have most of those things taken care of). The hors d’oeuvres were great - I was fairly impressed, though I had already heard such great things about them that I was expecting greatness. You can look forward to bacon-wrapped scallops and crab & artichoke fondue at our cocktail hour, I'll tell you that much :) And the dinner was simply DELICIOUS. We had filet mignon that was about an inch and a half thick, cooked perfectly medium, and melt-in-your-mouth tender. Definitely planning on serving that. The filet was accompanied by three gigantic shrimp stuffed with delectable crab imperial - unfortunately you all won't be enjoying that delicacy on our day (too rich for our blood). But it gave me great confidence in the TVR chefs! I talked to another girl who's getting married there in March - she was sitting at our table - and she said that "they don't do tastings". The bridal show is apparently it. To that, I say BULLSHIT. I will not serve food that I haven't tasted, and since not all of us can afford filet and stuffed shrimp, they need to provide another opportunity to taste something else. I have never heard of such a practice - NOT doing tastings as a general rule - and I will not accept it. I WILL get bridezilla on their asses over this. I hate to do it, because my catering lady is a doll, but it's ridiculous and unacceptable to me.
***I need to pause. Barack Obama is arriving on the inaugural platform. Have you ever seen such enthusiasm and excitement at an inauguration? It's like a pep rally! I'm so excited for this country. Say what you will about the democrats as a whole, but this man is special. No one can deny that. The way he has already brought people together is simply incredible. He won't be able to keep every single promise he's made, and he won't achieve peace in the middle east, but he's going to do great things for this country. He loves this country so much, he cares so much, and he wants so much for all of us. This is a wonderful day! I hope we can all try to heal from the past and look forward with hopeful optimism - things can't help but change after today, and we can either look forward with hope and embrace it, or look back with anger and resist it. Let's show the world how united we can be, and what we're capable of when we do unite.
Whew. Dry the tears. Back to the bridal show... we all had a GREAT time :) Ben was there (I wouldn't have asked him to come if it weren't for the food tasting business, which he really needed to be involved in), along with both of our moms and Ben's two sisters. Ben and his sisters provided the entertainment for the evening - they are a riot when they all get together and they're all in the right mood! I love how close they are and how much fun they have together. I'm so glad that my kids will have that kind of example to look to as they grow up. It seems like so many grown siblings avoid each other like the plague, dislike and even "hate" eachother. It's so sad. And since I don't have any siblings, it's comforting to know that my kids will still have an example of what family really means between siblings. And it's been such a joy to become one of their siblings myself over time, and to get to be involved in that. I really feel like I've been able to experience some of what it's like to have siblings through Ben and his sisters, with the added benefit that I essentially get only the good parts :) Growing up I always told my friends that I wished I had siblings, and they all UNANIMOUSLY and emphatically replied, "NO YOU DON'T!!!"I guess I got to miss out on the annoying parts and just enjoy the fun parts. Plus there are no brothers in my scenario here :)
On with the wedding stuff... I think we've decided on tuxes, which was a bit of a battle. Maybe "battle" isn't the right word, but it was difficult. His perspective focuses on the individual groomsman. Will he look good? Will he feel "gay"? Will he ever forgive me for making him wear this? Like his friends will hate him for life if there is so much as a stripe of purple in their entire ensemble. He's very concerned about this. And, realistically, his groomsmen are HIS friends, and he should get to choose what they wear. They're his guys. But seriously, if I left it up to him... I shudder to think of the outcome. If you've seen Dumb and Dumber, I'm thinking something along those lines. So I do need to have some input. For the sake of my photos, I need some input. My perspective, on the other hand, focuses on the entire picture. All 11 of them (8 groomsmen, an usher, a ring bearer and Ben) standing in a row, side by side. The entire bridal party - girls in a row on one side and guys in a row on the other, with Ben and I in the middle. I'm putting the colors together in my mind and trying to keep things balanced, trying to make sure they look sharp but not overly formal for our outdoor garden ceremony, thinking about how they'll look at the reception when their jackets are off and they're just wearing a shirt, vest and tie (and pants, of course!). These things aren't exactly on Ben's radar. He's just freaking out about the "gay" factor. So anyway, he could decide in about three minutes if given a book of 5 tuxedo samples and 5 vest & tie combinations. Just as long as it isn't the least bit "feminine", he's in. The problem comes when the bride has planned for dark red and deep purple dress/flower combinations, and wants the groomsmen to match. HERE we go. So I think we've found a reasonable compromise. The girls are wearing dark red dresses, so the guys will have dark red vests and ties. There, they match. And without going into too much detail (I don't want to give it all away before the big day!), Ben also got to infuse a little of his own personality into the ensemble (by my suggestion, of course, because I know him better than he knows himself). We went to two different places and looked and samples (with the intention of making decisions and setting things up for real) and had to just come home and mull it over because I just couldn't do it on the spot. I felt like he was a little annoyed, although he claimed to be fine, but in the end we made a decision that we're both much happier with. I think we would've just felt rushed and pressured and just picked something if we had stayed at the store. We tried to go back yesterday to set things up since we've made our decision, but then it SNOWED all morning and afternoon. We left for the bridal shop, and turned around about 3/4 of a mile from my house when we slid out onto Route 32. Oh well.
And finally, here's "the story" I said I had for you. It's not that great of a story - don't get too excited - but it deserves telling. We went to the bakery on Saturday for our cake tasting and design appointment. Important background info - Turf Valley pays for our cake as part of our package, so we didn't have a choice on who to use, but it's Debi's Cake Studio and she has won The Knot's "Best of Weddings" awards so I wasn't worried or upset about not having a choice. It's not like it's some random crappy place that no one has ever heard of. If The Knot approves, how bad can it be? So anyway, back to the story. We plugged the address into my new GPS and the Garmin couldn't find it. Hmm. On the business card, the city was "Baltimore" but I knew the road name and I knew it probably wasn't inside the beltway so I tried Catonsville, but it didn't find the address there either. When I just typed the address in without specifying a city first, the Garmin found it in Pikesville. Ahh. Makes sense based on my knowledge of where that road is. So we set out for Pikesville, though we were a little hesitant since the Garmin didn't find it initially. So, if you know Route 26, as you head east it quickly becomes a questionable area. Once you pass Lyons Mill Road, you enter Randallstown and then Pikesville and then you begin to feel the urge to lock your doors. We followed the GPS's directions, and it took us into this industrial park type area. Hmm. When we arrived at the address listed on the business card, the front of the building looked nice (MUCH nicer than the surrounding abandoned-looking buildings!), but the sign was for a mortgage company. Again, Hmm. We could see around the side of the building a beat-up, old sign that said "Try our Cheesecakes" hanging on a chain link fence. It did say something about cake, but I thought "surely this can't be it". So I called, but sure enough, the lady on the other end said "Yeah, just park around the side of the mortgage company building, walk through the chain link fence and come in the side door!" Great. I love to hear "just walk through the chain link fence" when I'm going to taste wedding cake. So we parked, put Ben's radar detector and my GPS in my purse, double-checked the locks, and went inside. Here's the scene: Not a light on in the place, we enter through a long, concrete hallway. There's a door on the right - dark inside. There's an entryway on the left, opening to a huge warehouse-like space, also all concrete and dark, except for the light coming from the very end of it where we could see lots of mixers and ovens and such. So it is, in fact, a bakery. Slightly reassuring. We continued to the end of the hallway looking for signs of life, only to find another large, open room with some crap in it, but no people. We turned around and began to walk back through the hallway, thinking we must have missed something, and when we passed the huge warehouse-like space and looked in again, a short, rotund little lady said "Hi! You can go into the office - Debi will be right with you!" as she shuffled toward us. We're thinking "Office? You say that as if there's actually an office out here..." So we went through that first dark door that we had seen on the way in. Sure enough, when Ben flicked on the lights, it was an office. A large, old, cluttered office, but an office nonetheless. There were two separate workstations, both equally covered in papers and crap, a few 60's "leather" couches in the middle with some sort of coffee table, like a makeshift waiting area, and a small table with a few chairs around it and a cruddy-looking vinyl tablecloth that had definitely seen better (and cleaner) days. I assumed that this would be the table where we'd taste cake samples. I was right. Ugh. This little lady tried to settle us in and gave us a few falling-apart portfolio books to look at while we waited. We knew that the "good" books were probably still in someone's car, because we had looked at them the night before at the bridal show where we first met Debi. I could forgive a little bit of disorganization the day after a bridal show that they had participated in. But the presentation of this business was, in a word, atrocious. When she left us to wait for Debi, Ben and I commented on how horrified we were that Turf Valley would send people to this place. I don't mean to be snooty, but we are spending A LOT of money with these people. And I'm sure we're on the modest end of the money that Turf Valley brings in for weddings - I can't imagine them sending the REAL money-spenders to this place. I could definitely see people turning around and leaving without even getting out of the car, only having seen the outside of the building. It was just unreal. The cake was delicious, Debi was very sweet and accomodating of our ideas, and her cakes look beautiful - I have no concerns about how our cake will turn out. But the experience was just ridiculous. All she needs to do is pick up her plate of cake samples and a few portfolio books, get in the car, and meet people in a hotel lobby or something. If she can't keep up with the clutter or whatever, then DON'T BRING CUSTOMERS THERE! Ack! I think I'm going to say something to our Catering lady at Turf Valley. I don't want Debi to lose business, because she's a very nice lady and I'm sure she's going to do a great job, but Turf Valley should really be more concerned with the presentation of the business that they're forcing their customers to use. Yikes!
So, this post has gotten ridiculous and I think it's time to let you all go. Thanks for reading and letting me expel some of my bridal gushing, for the sake of those who have to live with me on a daily basis :) They thank you, I'm sure.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Sunday January 18th. 6:30 pm.
I know that I'll catch lots of shit for writing this, but I'm feeling that a realistic commentary on this weekend's match-up is in order.
I really hope my Ravens can pull it out on Sunday. But honestly, there's really no football-related reason why they should win. They haven't proven themselves capable of beating the Steelers by any stretch of the imagination, at this point, from a technical standpoint. I love them with all my heart and I'll root for them til the end, whatever the end may be, but they have GOT to step it up. We have beaten Miami and Tennessee because their defenses could not rival ours, and though our offense has been touch-and-go, our defense was able to make up for it. I'm thrilled to have a new quarterback who is brave and has a great arm and impressive accuracy, but the coaching staff still isn't confident enough to let him work, and it's been killing us offensively. So anyway, we've been able to get by with the points we could muster on offense because we were playing against average defenses, our defense didn't allow many points, and our defense scored some for us. The Steelers, however, have a defense that at least matches ours, and surpasses ours by the numbers. This WILL present a serious obstacle. Our already timid offense (strategically speaking) will be up against a defense that has the potential to give them a VERY hard time. They will throw at us the same things our defense throws at other teams, and the Steelers are the only other team in the NFL that is capable of doing that. We've proven twice that such a defensive opponent is incredibly tough for our offense to handle.
That is my biggest worry. I know that our defense will come through. They always do. They will produce some turnovers, they will give us good field position, and they may even score us some points. However, our offense has proven over and over that it is often unable to capitalize on those opportunities, and if there's any team that it will be difficult to capitalize against, it's the Steelers. We had 4 turnovers against Miami and only scored off of ONE of them, and it was because Ed Reed was able to return his interception for a touch down. Our defense can only do so much, and then it's up to our offense to make the magic happen. I want to see our our offense show up in a way that they haven't yet shown up, in my opinion, this season. They're going to HAVE to. And I don't just mean the players, I mean the coaching staff, too. I love Joe just as much as the next guy, but he's been playing behind a tremendous defense that has handed a lot to him, in terms of points and momentum and field position. When we play against a team with those same advantages PLUS a veteran quarterback ("veteran" as compared to Flacco), Joe starts to look like a rookie again. Which is ok, because he IS a rookie. Part of what makes him look like a rookie, though, is the lack of trust that our coaching staff has placed in him. When he gets into a rhythm and is attempting passes regularly, he does very well. He has a GREAT overall QB rating, particularly for a rookie. But take last week for example. Joe attempted 22 passes for 161 yards. Now, does 22 pass plays in an entire game sound like the play calling of an offensive coordinator who's confident in his QB? We rushed for 50 yards - that's right, FIFTY - in the entire game. FIFTY. Clearly, the running game wasn't working for us. Yet they STILL only allowed him 22 pass plays in the entire game.
We have GOT to let Flacco do his job this weekend. He has proven that when he throws, he does a great job. We have nothing to lose by letting him throw the ball, because if we thought our running game got smashed by the Titans, we'll be in for a BIG surprise when we come up against the playoff Steelers. If he doesn't throw the ball more than he did last week, we'll end up with less than 150 yards of total offense in the entire game, and that means we'll have to place the entire game on our defense's shoulders. We joke about the Steelers being a bunch of bitches, and of course THEY ARE, but they are a DAMN strong team, and particularly in the playoffs with the Super Bowl just a game away. When you look at this match-up and then consider what's going on in the NFC, it's hard not to laugh. Seriously - Philly and Arizona? This game may as well be the Super Bowl, because whoever wins on Sunday at 6:30 will win it all.
All that being said, I have faith in my Ravens not because I believe that they've proven that they're a techincally better team. They haven't. The commentators will probably be justified in favoring the Steelers. I have faith in them because they have a serious passion that I think no other team in the NFL has. I honestly believe that the business history of football in Baltimore has made much of the country very hostile to Baltimore, and our team has dealt with it from day one. They've dealt with the accusations and the run-ins with the law and the put-downs and the generally hostility all this time, and it pisses us all off. Baltimore has a stadium that other teams don't want to play in because it has an enflamed, passionate, pissed-off fan base. We love our Ravens because so much of the time it feels like it's us against the football world, and they know how much we love them. They know how loyal we are and how hard we root for them and how hard we defend them. Football may be a business, but I think it's personal around here. Top off all that passionate energy with a match-up against our most bitter rivals, and you have a recipe for some FIRED UP Ravens. The Steelers haven't had to work through such adversity. They have fans all over the place because Baltimore lost a team, everyone hated the Skins, and the next closest team was a few states away, so they've enjoyed a gravy fan base all along. They have a long team history to fall back on, too. They don't have nearly as much to prove, and I really don't believe that they want it as bad. I think that THEY believe they do, but they have no idea.
I think my Ravens will find it in themselves to show up like they've never shown up before, not only because they want the Super Bowl, but because they have something to prove, and because I think they truly appreciate us as much as we love them. They rely on us, because we're the only ones who have their backs - they don't have commentators who kiss their asses or refs that want their babies - they just have us. And they don't want to let us OR themselves down. And behind all that passion is Ray Lewis, who I will be forever thankful for no matter how old he gets and how many steps he loses as his career comes to a close. Other players are making bigger plays these days, but here in Baltimore, we all know that Ray is behind it all. I believe that we work best when the chips are down and the odds are against us, so my own amateur technical analysis is almost comforting. I'd rather we be the underdogs, because we have a knack for proving people wrong ;)
GO RAVENS!!! #20
I really hope my Ravens can pull it out on Sunday. But honestly, there's really no football-related reason why they should win. They haven't proven themselves capable of beating the Steelers by any stretch of the imagination, at this point, from a technical standpoint. I love them with all my heart and I'll root for them til the end, whatever the end may be, but they have GOT to step it up. We have beaten Miami and Tennessee because their defenses could not rival ours, and though our offense has been touch-and-go, our defense was able to make up for it. I'm thrilled to have a new quarterback who is brave and has a great arm and impressive accuracy, but the coaching staff still isn't confident enough to let him work, and it's been killing us offensively. So anyway, we've been able to get by with the points we could muster on offense because we were playing against average defenses, our defense didn't allow many points, and our defense scored some for us. The Steelers, however, have a defense that at least matches ours, and surpasses ours by the numbers. This WILL present a serious obstacle. Our already timid offense (strategically speaking) will be up against a defense that has the potential to give them a VERY hard time. They will throw at us the same things our defense throws at other teams, and the Steelers are the only other team in the NFL that is capable of doing that. We've proven twice that such a defensive opponent is incredibly tough for our offense to handle.
That is my biggest worry. I know that our defense will come through. They always do. They will produce some turnovers, they will give us good field position, and they may even score us some points. However, our offense has proven over and over that it is often unable to capitalize on those opportunities, and if there's any team that it will be difficult to capitalize against, it's the Steelers. We had 4 turnovers against Miami and only scored off of ONE of them, and it was because Ed Reed was able to return his interception for a touch down. Our defense can only do so much, and then it's up to our offense to make the magic happen. I want to see our our offense show up in a way that they haven't yet shown up, in my opinion, this season. They're going to HAVE to. And I don't just mean the players, I mean the coaching staff, too. I love Joe just as much as the next guy, but he's been playing behind a tremendous defense that has handed a lot to him, in terms of points and momentum and field position. When we play against a team with those same advantages PLUS a veteran quarterback ("veteran" as compared to Flacco), Joe starts to look like a rookie again. Which is ok, because he IS a rookie. Part of what makes him look like a rookie, though, is the lack of trust that our coaching staff has placed in him. When he gets into a rhythm and is attempting passes regularly, he does very well. He has a GREAT overall QB rating, particularly for a rookie. But take last week for example. Joe attempted 22 passes for 161 yards. Now, does 22 pass plays in an entire game sound like the play calling of an offensive coordinator who's confident in his QB? We rushed for 50 yards - that's right, FIFTY - in the entire game. FIFTY. Clearly, the running game wasn't working for us. Yet they STILL only allowed him 22 pass plays in the entire game.
We have GOT to let Flacco do his job this weekend. He has proven that when he throws, he does a great job. We have nothing to lose by letting him throw the ball, because if we thought our running game got smashed by the Titans, we'll be in for a BIG surprise when we come up against the playoff Steelers. If he doesn't throw the ball more than he did last week, we'll end up with less than 150 yards of total offense in the entire game, and that means we'll have to place the entire game on our defense's shoulders. We joke about the Steelers being a bunch of bitches, and of course THEY ARE, but they are a DAMN strong team, and particularly in the playoffs with the Super Bowl just a game away. When you look at this match-up and then consider what's going on in the NFC, it's hard not to laugh. Seriously - Philly and Arizona? This game may as well be the Super Bowl, because whoever wins on Sunday at 6:30 will win it all.
All that being said, I have faith in my Ravens not because I believe that they've proven that they're a techincally better team. They haven't. The commentators will probably be justified in favoring the Steelers. I have faith in them because they have a serious passion that I think no other team in the NFL has. I honestly believe that the business history of football in Baltimore has made much of the country very hostile to Baltimore, and our team has dealt with it from day one. They've dealt with the accusations and the run-ins with the law and the put-downs and the generally hostility all this time, and it pisses us all off. Baltimore has a stadium that other teams don't want to play in because it has an enflamed, passionate, pissed-off fan base. We love our Ravens because so much of the time it feels like it's us against the football world, and they know how much we love them. They know how loyal we are and how hard we root for them and how hard we defend them. Football may be a business, but I think it's personal around here. Top off all that passionate energy with a match-up against our most bitter rivals, and you have a recipe for some FIRED UP Ravens. The Steelers haven't had to work through such adversity. They have fans all over the place because Baltimore lost a team, everyone hated the Skins, and the next closest team was a few states away, so they've enjoyed a gravy fan base all along. They have a long team history to fall back on, too. They don't have nearly as much to prove, and I really don't believe that they want it as bad. I think that THEY believe they do, but they have no idea.
I think my Ravens will find it in themselves to show up like they've never shown up before, not only because they want the Super Bowl, but because they have something to prove, and because I think they truly appreciate us as much as we love them. They rely on us, because we're the only ones who have their backs - they don't have commentators who kiss their asses or refs that want their babies - they just have us. And they don't want to let us OR themselves down. And behind all that passion is Ray Lewis, who I will be forever thankful for no matter how old he gets and how many steps he loses as his career comes to a close. Other players are making bigger plays these days, but here in Baltimore, we all know that Ray is behind it all. I believe that we work best when the chips are down and the odds are against us, so my own amateur technical analysis is almost comforting. I'd rather we be the underdogs, because we have a knack for proving people wrong ;)
GO RAVENS!!! #20
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
As my wise matron-of-honor has been known to say in these situations... "pee first."
Happy New Year! I've just been catching up on everyone else's blog updates, which inspired me to write my own post (though it is CLEARLY far too late for these shenanigans on a work night, but whatever). So, here's what's going on in the lives of Ben & Jenna...
Christmas
Christmas was busy, of course. It becomes something entirely different when you become part of a couple! We woek up at my Dad's for breakfast and presents (I got a Garmin! WAHOO!). Also, from my fiance, I got a snazzy new long, wool, black peacoat with some very nice feminine details that makes me feel very sophisticated on the metro on my way to work, particularly when I wear it with my new brown, scrunchy, mid-calf-height boots that my grandmother got me :) Next we each showered and got ready for the day and proceeded to my mom's house. We got money for our passports, as well as some home decor stuff and gift cards for our future first home. I stayed there for a delicious dinner while Ben joined his sisters at the hospital to visit with his dad, and then we re-convened at his mom's for (another) dinner, dessert, and more presents, of course :) Watching the kids tear into their presents was so fun! Christmas really isn't the same without little kids around, and I'm so glad I've been blessed with little ones to enjoy! We got some more registry stuff at his mom's, and he got LOTS of socks (and he couldn't have been more thrilled - you should have seen him!), and I got a few perfect clothing items, including slippers from Amberly that have already proven to be worth their weight in gold! My dad swears his heating bill was $300 last month, but I don't know how that's possible given the ice on the tip of my nose.
So, in short, Christmas was GREAT! Every time something comes up where other people are planning ahead for our wedding or acknowledging it in some concrete way (like giving us home decor and kitchen accessories for Christmas), it becomes more and more real. The day after Christmas when everything went on sale, we went "Christmas stuff" shopping. We got tons of ornaments, gift wrap, gift bags and boxes, bows, labels, tissue paper, a tree skirt, stockings for each of us, a wreath for our door, and a few little decorations for around the apartment. Ben got a snow shovel too, which was quick thinking on his part, because in my mind that's something you only need if you have a driveway (he quickly pointed out that when our parking lot gets plowed and completely blocks our cars in, something like this could come in handy!). That was his "wow, this is really happening" moment for the day - buying a snow shovel with me. That's reality for ya.
New Years
We celebrated New Years Eve, and the dawning of our "wedding year", at Ron & Jeanne's house. For those of you who don't know, Ron used to be Ben's boss when he worked at National Tire & Battery in Catonsville. He's also the ex-brother-in-law of a guy Ben played hockey with during most of his teenage years (Tom), which is how Ben got the job with Ron. They're both groomsmen in the wedding. Anyway, we played Wii, ate lots of food, drank wine (or beer), kissed at midnight, and got in the hottub after the ball dropped. It was approximately 27 degrees outside, by the way. Not exactly bathing suit weather! But we had a great time. We slept on Ron's huge comfy couch next to the burning pellet stove and snuggled - it was the greatest! Then on Sunday we watched the Ravens OWN the Dolphins, which was a GREAT start to the new year, in my book :)
"How's the wedding planning going?"
Wedding planning is already starting to kick up a notch. I figured out the place card formatting, finally, which was driving me a little batty. Actually, correction - I didn't figure it out, Em sent me the template from her place cards and it worked like a charm! The place cards we got are awfully plain for my taste, but I'm trying to remember that simplicity is really my theme for the day. And everything else is absurdly expensive. Maybe I'll print the names in color to spice it up... Anyway, speaking of Em helping me out, she and I had a great brainstorming session the other night while our boys played Rock Band 2. We decided to make a nice color scheme change that I think is going to be BEAUTIFUL, inspired by some flowers we found, that are going to be PERFECT. This revelation came just in time for my florist appointment, which is this Saturday morning. I'm excited to get some of that stuff nailed down. Em and I also looked at lots of cake photos online and basically designed my cake, which is awesome. That appointment is coming up on the 17th. And THAT happens to be the day after the Turf Valley Bridal Show, at which we get to taste hors d'oeuvres and dinner food (finally), check out some vendors, and watch a bridal fashion show. Ben is going to HATE it! I'm a little pissed that, as a Turf Valley bride, I had to pay for tickets. WTF? Why should I have to pay to taste this stuff? I'm paying these people (insert exorbitant number) for my wedding - the least they can do is let me taste the stuff I'll be SERVING at my WEDDING for free. Brief bridezilla moment... I think it's passed now. Moving on, we also decided on invitations this week and ordered them. I got the proof today by e-mail and they look great! We made a few alterations to the original design, and they're going to be beautiful. So don't ever, ever, ever throw yours away. HA! Those won't go out until probably the first week of April, so I'm not sure why TheKnot.com is so insistent on me ordering them right now, but whatever. I just do what the checklist tells me to do. I'll have to order the response cards separately since I'm not sure yet what we're serving, and since it's being served (as opposed to a buffet), I have to get a count of what everyone wants prior to the wedding day. Ugh. That may change. It would cost us less than $100 to switch to a buffet, and it would be easier. I like the formality of a seated dinner, but what a pain.
The Mundane
As for daily life, things are going just fine, though we weren't thrilled about going back to regular work weeks after having so much time off around Christmas and New Years (we each had a 2-day work week for Christmas and a 3-day work week for New Years). However, despite the craziness of the holidays, we managed to start going to the gym again during the week before Christmas, and we've been going religiously, 3 days a week. Hopefully we'll be able to work our way up to 4 days a week. We spend about an hour and a half there when we go, which is great for the work-out, but it eats up so much of our evenings together. Ben gets home around 6ish, we head to the gym at 6:30, we stay til 8 (usually each doing our own thing, though we start on the treadmill together), Ben makes his creatine shake and drinks it by about 8:30, which means he can't eat dinner til 9:30 (he's not supposed to eat within an hour of the creatine), and then we both need showers BADLY, and then we have about 15 minutes to say "how was your day" and "this is what I did for the wedding today" and then it's bed time, since he gets up at 3:30 every morning like the saint he is to work overtime for the wedding. And on top of that, we aren't sleeping together during the weeks - only on the weekends - so the weekdays basically just SUCK right now. I miss him so much :'( It's giving us something very exciting to look forward to after the wedding though!
Before I go, I'll offer a quick book recommendation. I've been reading "The Case for a Creator" by Lee Strobel. It's really good. Strobel was an atheist journalist who set out to see if there really was any scientific evidence for a Creator, since the only science he knew was evolutionary theory. His whole book is essentially made up of interviews with prestigious scientists and it presents evidence for a Creator from lots of different scientific (and philosophical) disciplines. I've come across a weak argument from time to time, but I'd say about 90% of it is VERY well-reasoned and difficult to ignore. I'm praying very hard that God will show me the right timing to give this book to my dad - I think it could really help to soften him toward the idea of a God. Anyway, I know there are a lot of Christians who believe a lot of different things about science and evolution and creation and the big bang and all these things, and I think that ALL Christians should read this book. It's important that we don't see science as the enemy, but as the methodology that God gave us for discovering the wonders of His creation. This book gives lots of honest information, and it's coming from scientists who also proclaim belief in God - many of them as a direct RESULT of their science (not just because they were raised to believe). I think information from this type of source has the potential to really get through to Christians who see science as oppositional to religion - who hear phrases like "the big bang" and tear off running for the hills, or start shaking their fists and getting red in the face. There's so much jargon thrown around and so many generalized or misunderstood ideas. We don't have to reject scientific findings to believe in God. God doesn't ask us to check our brains at the door. Science just opens up an INCREDIBLE world of discovery concerning God's creation, how He set it all into motions, and how He designed it just like a loving parent sets up an easter egg hunt for his children - so that we could experience the wonder and joy of discovering all it's little complexities, all it's hidden gems buried in caves and hiding miles below the surface of the oceans and light years away in other galaxies. So, there's my plug for that. I think that this book has taken me from being a Christian scientist who wants to believe that God "used" evolution, to being a Christian scientist who is incredibly disheartened by the blunders of scientific history and education and has a really hard time accepting evolution even as a credible theory. This is a topic that I have begun to read on as extensively as I can, and this book is the best that I've found so far.
Holy crap - it's 12:37. GOODNIGHT!
Christmas
Christmas was busy, of course. It becomes something entirely different when you become part of a couple! We woek up at my Dad's for breakfast and presents (I got a Garmin! WAHOO!). Also, from my fiance, I got a snazzy new long, wool, black peacoat with some very nice feminine details that makes me feel very sophisticated on the metro on my way to work, particularly when I wear it with my new brown, scrunchy, mid-calf-height boots that my grandmother got me :) Next we each showered and got ready for the day and proceeded to my mom's house. We got money for our passports, as well as some home decor stuff and gift cards for our future first home. I stayed there for a delicious dinner while Ben joined his sisters at the hospital to visit with his dad, and then we re-convened at his mom's for (another) dinner, dessert, and more presents, of course :) Watching the kids tear into their presents was so fun! Christmas really isn't the same without little kids around, and I'm so glad I've been blessed with little ones to enjoy! We got some more registry stuff at his mom's, and he got LOTS of socks (and he couldn't have been more thrilled - you should have seen him!), and I got a few perfect clothing items, including slippers from Amberly that have already proven to be worth their weight in gold! My dad swears his heating bill was $300 last month, but I don't know how that's possible given the ice on the tip of my nose.
So, in short, Christmas was GREAT! Every time something comes up where other people are planning ahead for our wedding or acknowledging it in some concrete way (like giving us home decor and kitchen accessories for Christmas), it becomes more and more real. The day after Christmas when everything went on sale, we went "Christmas stuff" shopping. We got tons of ornaments, gift wrap, gift bags and boxes, bows, labels, tissue paper, a tree skirt, stockings for each of us, a wreath for our door, and a few little decorations for around the apartment. Ben got a snow shovel too, which was quick thinking on his part, because in my mind that's something you only need if you have a driveway (he quickly pointed out that when our parking lot gets plowed and completely blocks our cars in, something like this could come in handy!). That was his "wow, this is really happening" moment for the day - buying a snow shovel with me. That's reality for ya.
New Years
We celebrated New Years Eve, and the dawning of our "wedding year", at Ron & Jeanne's house. For those of you who don't know, Ron used to be Ben's boss when he worked at National Tire & Battery in Catonsville. He's also the ex-brother-in-law of a guy Ben played hockey with during most of his teenage years (Tom), which is how Ben got the job with Ron. They're both groomsmen in the wedding. Anyway, we played Wii, ate lots of food, drank wine (or beer), kissed at midnight, and got in the hottub after the ball dropped. It was approximately 27 degrees outside, by the way. Not exactly bathing suit weather! But we had a great time. We slept on Ron's huge comfy couch next to the burning pellet stove and snuggled - it was the greatest! Then on Sunday we watched the Ravens OWN the Dolphins, which was a GREAT start to the new year, in my book :)
"How's the wedding planning going?"
Wedding planning is already starting to kick up a notch. I figured out the place card formatting, finally, which was driving me a little batty. Actually, correction - I didn't figure it out, Em sent me the template from her place cards and it worked like a charm! The place cards we got are awfully plain for my taste, but I'm trying to remember that simplicity is really my theme for the day. And everything else is absurdly expensive. Maybe I'll print the names in color to spice it up... Anyway, speaking of Em helping me out, she and I had a great brainstorming session the other night while our boys played Rock Band 2. We decided to make a nice color scheme change that I think is going to be BEAUTIFUL, inspired by some flowers we found, that are going to be PERFECT. This revelation came just in time for my florist appointment, which is this Saturday morning. I'm excited to get some of that stuff nailed down. Em and I also looked at lots of cake photos online and basically designed my cake, which is awesome. That appointment is coming up on the 17th. And THAT happens to be the day after the Turf Valley Bridal Show, at which we get to taste hors d'oeuvres and dinner food (finally), check out some vendors, and watch a bridal fashion show. Ben is going to HATE it! I'm a little pissed that, as a Turf Valley bride, I had to pay for tickets. WTF? Why should I have to pay to taste this stuff? I'm paying these people (insert exorbitant number) for my wedding - the least they can do is let me taste the stuff I'll be SERVING at my WEDDING for free. Brief bridezilla moment... I think it's passed now. Moving on, we also decided on invitations this week and ordered them. I got the proof today by e-mail and they look great! We made a few alterations to the original design, and they're going to be beautiful. So don't ever, ever, ever throw yours away. HA! Those won't go out until probably the first week of April, so I'm not sure why TheKnot.com is so insistent on me ordering them right now, but whatever. I just do what the checklist tells me to do. I'll have to order the response cards separately since I'm not sure yet what we're serving, and since it's being served (as opposed to a buffet), I have to get a count of what everyone wants prior to the wedding day. Ugh. That may change. It would cost us less than $100 to switch to a buffet, and it would be easier. I like the formality of a seated dinner, but what a pain.
The Mundane
As for daily life, things are going just fine, though we weren't thrilled about going back to regular work weeks after having so much time off around Christmas and New Years (we each had a 2-day work week for Christmas and a 3-day work week for New Years). However, despite the craziness of the holidays, we managed to start going to the gym again during the week before Christmas, and we've been going religiously, 3 days a week. Hopefully we'll be able to work our way up to 4 days a week. We spend about an hour and a half there when we go, which is great for the work-out, but it eats up so much of our evenings together. Ben gets home around 6ish, we head to the gym at 6:30, we stay til 8 (usually each doing our own thing, though we start on the treadmill together), Ben makes his creatine shake and drinks it by about 8:30, which means he can't eat dinner til 9:30 (he's not supposed to eat within an hour of the creatine), and then we both need showers BADLY, and then we have about 15 minutes to say "how was your day" and "this is what I did for the wedding today" and then it's bed time, since he gets up at 3:30 every morning like the saint he is to work overtime for the wedding. And on top of that, we aren't sleeping together during the weeks - only on the weekends - so the weekdays basically just SUCK right now. I miss him so much :'( It's giving us something very exciting to look forward to after the wedding though!
Before I go, I'll offer a quick book recommendation. I've been reading "The Case for a Creator" by Lee Strobel. It's really good. Strobel was an atheist journalist who set out to see if there really was any scientific evidence for a Creator, since the only science he knew was evolutionary theory. His whole book is essentially made up of interviews with prestigious scientists and it presents evidence for a Creator from lots of different scientific (and philosophical) disciplines. I've come across a weak argument from time to time, but I'd say about 90% of it is VERY well-reasoned and difficult to ignore. I'm praying very hard that God will show me the right timing to give this book to my dad - I think it could really help to soften him toward the idea of a God. Anyway, I know there are a lot of Christians who believe a lot of different things about science and evolution and creation and the big bang and all these things, and I think that ALL Christians should read this book. It's important that we don't see science as the enemy, but as the methodology that God gave us for discovering the wonders of His creation. This book gives lots of honest information, and it's coming from scientists who also proclaim belief in God - many of them as a direct RESULT of their science (not just because they were raised to believe). I think information from this type of source has the potential to really get through to Christians who see science as oppositional to religion - who hear phrases like "the big bang" and tear off running for the hills, or start shaking their fists and getting red in the face. There's so much jargon thrown around and so many generalized or misunderstood ideas. We don't have to reject scientific findings to believe in God. God doesn't ask us to check our brains at the door. Science just opens up an INCREDIBLE world of discovery concerning God's creation, how He set it all into motions, and how He designed it just like a loving parent sets up an easter egg hunt for his children - so that we could experience the wonder and joy of discovering all it's little complexities, all it's hidden gems buried in caves and hiding miles below the surface of the oceans and light years away in other galaxies. So, there's my plug for that. I think that this book has taken me from being a Christian scientist who wants to believe that God "used" evolution, to being a Christian scientist who is incredibly disheartened by the blunders of scientific history and education and has a really hard time accepting evolution even as a credible theory. This is a topic that I have begun to read on as extensively as I can, and this book is the best that I've found so far.
Holy crap - it's 12:37. GOODNIGHT!
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