"The Movement"

I don't know about you, but I've been becoming increasingly irritated with the breast cancer awareness movement. Many of us (myself included) know someone who has battled breast cancer - it is a terrifying, harrowing, and in many cases ultimately empowering experience that should never be minimized. My feelings regarding "the movement" itself have absolutely nothing to do with the value of those experiences and the necessity of the ongoing search for a cure. But, that said... hear me out.

At first I was just irritated by the sheer volume of press associated with breast cancer. Awareness is great, but the powers that run these foundations seem to spend an awful lot of money on frivolous advertising. Not that promoting breast cancer awareness is frivolous in and of itself, but it's just EVERYWHERE - they could take at LEAST half of the money they spend on advertising/PR/merchandising and divert it to research and get far more bang for their buck as far as the fight against breast cancer is concerned. I don't know about you, but when I donate money to fund research for cancer, pink cleats for NFL players aren't exactly the "cure" I have in mind. The outrageous overload of advertising they're bombarding us with is not only an inefficient use of precious resources, it also seems quite unnecessary - everyone is already HIGHLY aware. And no, I'm not just trying to be sarcastic. I truly find it bothersome, the amount of hard-earned dollars donated by hard-working, caring people that are blown through every year by this out-of-control PR machine. Do these foundations feel any sense of accountability to the regular, everyday people who support them? And as if the (in my humble opinion) frivolous spending wasn't enough...

The nagging irritation I've long felt toward the movement has (relatively) recently been given "a violent shove into serious" (-Maura Tierney, Liar Liar). The day that some PR exec got the grand idea to start throwing the word "boobies" around... that just threw me over the edge into PISSED. The mostly bare breasts on billboards, the "feel your boobies" paraphernalia... not only is it inappropriate for the general audience exposed to it, but it's cheapening to women and to the cause that is SUPPOSED to be at the heart of it all.

My sister-in-law Emily wrote a fantastic blog post about this very issue that pretty much sums up my position as well, so without further adieu...

Raising Awareness or Selling Out?
Go check it out! And don't forget to read the comments... great insight to be found there as well :]

Work & Play

Jenna got a new camera :] 

...AND new photo editing software :]

Happy Birthday to me! (And thanks, Daddy! I love you!)

It's definitely been a process, learning a new camera and learning new software. Especially since I have a JOB now and can't spend my days fooling around with my fun new toys! My kitty's pretty cute though, huh? That's squiddy Eddie. You might think that I'm partial to Eddie, since I tend to post lots of pictures of him (as opposed to my other kitty, Lewis). If you thought that, you'd probably be right. HOWEVER, there's also the fact that Eddie is a much better subject. He tends to sit still longer, and doesn't freak out every time he detects movement within 20 feet of him. Lewis, on the other hand, is a total spaz. God love him, he has mental problems. It's difficult to take a decent photo of him AT ALL, and essentially impossible if I'm trying something that requires a lengthened exposure. You can hang it up, in that case. So, in short, I can be more creative in photographing Eddie because he doesn't startle so easily, and he poses often (as seen above). And it just so happens that he is also my favorite. He's the sweetest cat on the planet. He converted me into a cat person. He cuddles, he cocks his head sideways and chirps at me to get my attention, he follows us around like a puppy... he's just friggin' adorable. Them's just the facts, and I can't help it. I feel like a bad person, playing favorites and all, but that's just how it is. 

As for work... I love my job. I really do. I'm truly enjoying working with real clinical data on a more "big picture" type of project - it's completely different than anything I've ever worked on before. Whereas I've always worked at the molecular and cellular levels in the past, much of the work done in this lab focuses on using real patient data to look for trends and patterns in lots of different health status markers, like lung function, onset of CF-related diabetes, bacterial colonization, pancreatic function... it's all so fascinating. And this type of work lends itself to more immediate applicability than anything I've ever worked on in the past. It's very rewarding already. 

I spent the latter half of last week at the North American Cystic Fibrosis Conference which was (fortunately) held in Baltimore this year. It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I thought I knew a lot about CF, but apparently I knew very little. There's just SO much to learn and it's all so incredibly fascinating. I always felt like I was missing something I really wanted to see - three days wasn't NEARLY enough time! I learned so much about so many different facets of the disease itself, approaches to care, new and innovative therapies, external influences on disease progression, the psychosocial impact on patients... I could go on. SO much great stuff. I also had the opportunity to see several of my lab-mates give talks (including my boss), which was highly impressive and also very inspiring. This lab is just really top-notch, and sitting in those chairs watching them speak, I was so proud to be a part of it. AND, during the conference we also found out that my boss is being awarded the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's highly prestigious 2010 Lifetime Achievement Award for his work in Cystic Fibrosis research! How amazing is that?! He's a pretty amazing guy. I just feel so blessed to have found this job, and to be a part of this lab. 

At the end of the conference, I found myself wondering how I could EVER bring myself to leave the CF research community. For the first time in my life, when I think about my job, it's not just my mind that is invested... it's my heart, too. And my heartstrings are becoming increasingly interwoven with my work by the day. I know that I can't stay in this particular position for too long - I have to get back into school. My student loans are coming due and this just doesn't pay well enough to handle all that. But how do I reconcile my career aspirations with my intensifying connection to CF research? Good question. That remains to be seen, but I'm VERY interested to see how it all plays out. I suspect that God may be placing some unexpected open doors in my path this year :]

Workin' Girl

Hi Friends! Sorry, it's been a while. Pathetic as it sounds, it's taking my body some time to adjust to getting up early and working 8 hours every day after having been off for an entire month! I've just been too tired to do much more than, well, NOTHING when I get home. And unlike previous positions I have held in the past, for the most part I remain relatively busy all day at work. I LOVE this lab though :] It's so clean and organized and well-run, and everyone is SO nice. I've been very busy trying to glean as much as I can from the previous study coordinator (Kathleen, whose last day is TOMORROW! Yikes!), while also trying to learn some lab protocols from the other tech as he works on them. So I'm constantly flitting back and forth between the two of them and watching them work. I've done a little of my own hands-on work, but nothing much so far - I'm still in the learning phase. I really need to review my statistics knowledge, not to mention teach myself how to use the crazy statistical software that we use to manipulate the mountains of data collected through our study. Kathleen has been trying to teach me the most common tasks and give me some tips and tricks, but I know that once she's gone I'm going to need to spend countless hours fooling around in the program to really get proficient with it. There's really no replacing this woman - she's just amazing - but I want to be able to be helpful when other lab members need data assembled! My boss approved a statistics course for me through the Hopkins School of Public Health (though it isn't until the January mini-mester), which is based in the software that our lab uses, so I'm hoping that'll be helpful and get me on-track. It will also satisfy the statistics prerequisite that I need for nursing school.

That's right folks. I'm applying to a master's-level nursing program for next Fall! I'm really excited about it :] I still have the option to return to medical school next year, though as I've intimated before, I REALLY don't foresee that happening. This new lab is actually full of clinical fellows (MD's doing research), and having a glimpse into their daily lives REALLY doesn't help the medical school case. It has definitely reinforced my feeling that being a doctor requires far more career commitment than I'm willing to give. Anyway, I'm finding that nursing really seems perfect for me - for my future goals, my personality, and the position I find myself in right now. I don't know how I missed it before... it's so obvious to me now. It allows me to enter a patient care profession, while keeping SO many options open to me and giving me tons of flexibility both now and in my future career. There's typical bedside nursing (in a VAST array of medical specialties and sub-specialties), clinical research, advanced practice degrees down the road, cool specialties like environmental or public health nursing, process improvement research... It's just so exciting to me. It's basically everything I wanted out of a medical career, minus the whole "signing my life away" bit. The program I'm shooting for is a 16-month accelerated Clinical Nurse Leader program at the University of Maryland School of Nursing (across the street from my medical school!), which is a master's generalist degree that will qualify me to take the NCLEX (licensing exam) to become an RN. Here's hoping...  :]

In other news... my birthday is on Thursday. Yipeeeee!!! Eh, not quite as exciting as birthdays used to be ;] We have plans to go out to several dinners (just the two of us, mom, dad, etc), and we're going to the Baltimore Beer Festival in Canton on Sunday with some friends. And my hubby is taking me shopping, because I need (er, want) some clothes. And that, my friends is SUPER exciting!

Alright, this workin' girl is beat. Time to wind down for the evening.

A Book Recommendation for You Photogs...

(This is the entire 3-volume boxed set - indivdual volumes can also be purchased on Amazon for $16.49 a piece, if you're not quite ready to take the 3-volume plunge just yet!)


For those of you who have yet to discover this little gem, check out Scott Kolby's "The Digital Photography Book" series. It was recommended by an amateur photographer whose work I love, so in my search for photography reading material, I went out to B&N and bought Volume 1 (terrible move, by the way... (a) should've ordered on Amazon - way cheaper - and (b) should've bought the entire boxed set). Don't be fooled by the so-simple-it-sounds-kinda-dumb title, my friends. Simplicity is definitely the name of the game with these books, but in a very good way. Well, let me qualify... I'm reading Volume 1 now, so I can't speak for all three volumes in the series. I can say, however, that I'm pumped to crack into the next two!

Scott Kolby inserts a little humor, and generally writes as if he was speaking to you face-to-face. It's kinda like having a professional photographer at your side while shooting to answer your questions. Each single page is devoted to a particular tip or trick for avoiding complications, getting "the shot" in different scenarios, getting the most out of your equipment (or the most bang for your buck when purchasing equipment), framing different types of shots, setting up the right lighting... it's amazing. While learning the technical aspects of how cameras actually work is invaluable, that's not the point of these books. He writes it as if you were out shooting together and asked him a question - he gives you a straight "how to" answer and generally spares the technical rationale behind the answer, for the most part. The information is presented in it's simplest form, but that's what makes it so helpful. "If you want to achieve this effect, set your camera to this mode, set your white balance like this, set your f-stop to that, and shoot." Simple as that. Love it. And the one-page-per-topic set-up of the book makes it a perfect reference tool. It's easy to flip back to something, re-read it quickly, pick up your camera and use the information immediately.

Bottom line: If you know a little about photography and would like to learn some of the tips and tricks of the professional trade - how they get the shots they get, and how to set your camera to do the same - BUY THESE.

An NFP Question for all you NFPers out there...

Quick question for those of you who practice NFP...

I'm on my 6th month of charting now after coming off the Pill (also 6 months off the Pill), and I'm noticing that I have a consistently short luteal phase. For anyone not familiar with the terminology, that's just the time from ovulation to menses, and it's a point of concern if one is trying to conceive because if it's too short, a conception might not have sufficient time to implant prior to menses. I count from the first day of temperature rise until the day before my period starts. Everything I read says that it should be 12-16 days, and that anything less than 10 is considered a potential fertility problem.

Mine have been 10 days long every month. I don't like this. Not that I'm trying to conceive (clearly), but I AM trying to get everything on-track in advance so that we're in the best possible position to conceive when the time comes. According to my book on nutrition and fertility, a short luteal phase is usually due to low progesterone, which can often be alleviated by bumping up one's vitamin B6 intake. I recently decided to start a new vitamin regimen (started about 2 weeks ago) to try to fix the problem, which includes a good prenatal vitamin (I checked the contents against the recommendations in my book - you'd be surprised how high the recommendations are compared to what the average prenatal vitamin contains!), extra vitamin D (because I was deficient at my last dr's appointment), extra B6 and an omega 3-6-9 capsule. Obviously that may take a few months to make any difference, so I'll just have to wait and see for a while.

So on to the questions... Have any of you dealt with a short luteal phase, and if so, what did you do to help lengthen it? Have any of you conceived despite having what might be considered a "short" luteal phase? That would make me feel better ;]

Thanks, Ladies!

Crunchy Granola, Anyone?

I finally caught the "all natural" bug. It's MckMama's fault, really. She did a post about products she uses to clean her home, and it got me thinking... 

First let me say this: I don't like the negative connotation placed on the word "chemical". THE ENTIRE WORLD IS CHEMISTRY, PEOPLE. We are nothing but organized conglomerations of "chemicals". That's just reality. Now, that said, I also realize that when most people say "chemicals", they are referring to something at least mildly toxic or hazardous. I just have a peeve about people saying they don't want to use "chemicals" or have "chemicals" in their food or whatever... everything is "chemicals" so let's just come to terms with that and move on. Good? Good.

...now, back to my train of thought. How often do we, even as adults (not to mention our children... which I, sadly, do not have... but that's neither here nor there!) put our hands in our mouths? Not fist-in-mouth obviously, but we all bite off the occasional hangnail, lick batter off our fingers while baking... you know what I'm talking about. And how often does our food touch our counter tops, or better yet, our plates and silverware? And while we try to clean all these things (including our hands) regularly, exactly what are we removing with our cleaners? Well, the better question is "what are we leaving behind?" We're removing stuck-on food from plates and kitty paw-prints from the counter tops (DON'T JUDGE ME. YOU try to keep cats off of the counter tops and let me know how it works out for ya!), but in many cases we're replacing those "messes" with harsh chemical residues. 

I haven't even done any research into which cleaning chemicals are hazardous, or exactly what the nay-sayers claim the "hazards" are. I just know that I wouldn't swallow any of the cleaners I use, so maybe I should reconsider what I use on surfaces that I eat off of, or on my hands, etc. And when I think about having children around, I get even more concerned about residues ending up in tiny mouths, and then circulating through tiny systems that can't handle as much toxicity as my adult body can handle, and it makes me want to be even MORE careful. 

Of course there's always the "my mom cleaned everything with straight bleach when I was growing up, and look at me! I turned out just fine!" argument. Which is, of course, a load of crap. You'll never know whether you "turned out just fine" or not. You'll never know whether your cognitive development could've gone a little better than it did, or if your childhood asthma had something to do with a harsh chemical you were repeatedly exposed to, or if you're going to develop cancer some day as a result of some laundry detergent you used. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW. So let's stop deluding ourselves into thinking that everything we've been exposed to in our lives must've been safe because we're not dead, and that if our moms used something then it must be safe. This entire argument is also (clearly) a peeve of mine. 

The bottom line is, why NOT try to use safer, milder cleaners in our homes? Why NOT try to cut down on the fumes we inhale? Why NOT try to keep from ingesting harsh chemicals that aren't meant to be ingested? 

Some might argue cost, and I can't quote exact price comparisons, but I was not at all blown away by the prices I paid at Target the other day when I decided to replace all of our hand soaps, dish soaps/detergents, and surface cleaners with "natural" alternatives that don't contain any unnecessary harshness. At Target, the Seventh Generation and Method cleaners both ran about the same price, so I allowed the Method marketing to lure me in (with their pretty colors and uniquely-shaped containers) and went with Method. There's also Green Works, but their stuff was all spread out all over the place - the Method stuff was just easier to peruse because it was all right there. I did get Green Works liquid dish soap, which smells lovely and works great so far. I also got Method kitchen cleaner and bathroom cleaner (both with disinfectant), disinfectant wipes, dishwasher tablets and hand soaps. Haven't tried the dishwasher tablets yet, but everything else works FABULOUSLY so far. The dishwasher tablets will be the true test... nobody wants to deal with dishes that are still dirty after running the dishwasher. When I told Ben I was switching to natural cleaners he got all "Well I do all the cleaning around here, so if they don't work well enough we're switching back!" Psh. As if I don't clean. (He really does do most of the cleaning, I won't lie...). I suppose he just doesn't buy the whole "dangerous chemicals" thing. Probably citing that argument about mom using them, in his own mind. I can't wait til he meets out first child and suddenly cares what residues are on the surfaces in our home. In fact, I can't wait for a whole LIST of "I told you so"'s that I'm storing up for that fine day... ;] 

ANYWAY, tangent aside, I'm also considering switching laundry detergents. MckMama uses Goat's Milk Soaps in her home, and they sell a 5-lb tub of their laundry soap for $34. Sorta steep, right? Not to mention the shipping on a 5-lb tub of powdered detergent (YIKES!). Before shipping, it comes out to 26 cents per load if you only have to use 1 tbsp, but I think that for our washer (as in, not a high-efficiency washer) we'd have to use 2 tbsp, which doubles the price per load and makes it more expensive than Tide by quite a bit. Although I can't say I've ever counted how many loads I actually get out of one bottle of Tide. I bet it's far fewer than the number of loads that the bottle claims (which is how I calculated that Tide is costing me 21 cents per load). Maybe I'll start counting with my next new bottle. Anyway, I understand that Tide is supposed to be one of the worst detergents for irritants and perfumes and crap, but it clearly doesn't seem to irritate our skin, so I'm not TOO concerned about laundry detergents at this juncture. I'll be much more concerned once we have baby skin to worry about, but unfortunately there's no baby skin in my immediate future! 

I'm also buying organic on the fruits and vegetables that are reported to absorb the most pesticides. According to WebMD, these include peaches, apples, bell peppers, celery, strawberries, pears, nectarines, grapes, spinach, lettuce, potatoes and carrots. Of course, I don't know about your grocery store, but mine doesn't have an organic version of most of these things - at least not that I've noticed. Apples and carrots, maybe. So what's a girl to do, especially once the farmer's markets are done for the season? And it's not like all farmer's market stuff is organic, but at least it's local. And then, of course, there are the antibiotics and hormones in milk and meats. To be honest, meats and milk are expensive enough. I don't know that I'll be committing to going organic on those any time soon. There's just so much to think about, and I only have so much moolah to play with here. Soaps and cleaners are easier because I don't buy them all that often, but trying to go organic on more and more food items is a very expensive prospect! 

Anyone have any suggestions for what to focus on as far as organic foods go, where to find these organic produce items, or which natural cleaners/soaps/detergents give you the best bang for your buck? Leave a comment!

Oh, right, I got a new job!

BY THE WAY... just realized I haven't written a post about my new job! Wouldn't want you all to think I'm just planning on sitting around the apartment for a year. Of course, that would be totally excusable if I had a child to care for... but uhhh... aaah, let's not go down that path today.

So, this new job. I'll be back at the Johns Hopkins Medical Campus in East Baltimore for the year, still working within the JH Cystic Fibrosis Research Development Center, but working for a different lab this time. I'll also be taking on a lot more responsibility than ever before... which is both exciting and terrifying! I'll be one of two "techs" in the lab - the people who not only carry out bench research, but also know where everything is, how all the equipment works, how to troubleshoot and fix the equipment, how to order stuff, etc (basically, they're the people I've always relied on to keep ME straight in the lab).

In addition to my lab responsibilities, I'll also be taking over the Research Coordinator position for a gigantic CF clinical research study called the CF Twin & Sibling Study. The study has gathered blood samples, clinical data, environmental data, family pedigrees, etc from almost 900 families all over the world who have twins or siblings with CF. The goal of the study is to better understand which genetic and environmental factors influence the course and progression of the disease to better predict outcomes and tailor treatments for specific patients. There are over 100 centers recruiting throughout Israel, Australia, Great Britain, and all over the US. That's a lot of data (and a huge database) to keep track of. The woman who is the current coordinator has been with the lab since the beginning of the study and has spent the past 8 years recruiting patients, maintaining contacts and managing data. And now she's handing it all over to me. OH my. There's still a little more recruiting to be done, so I'll be maintaining contact with the active recruitment centers, receiving and cataloging new data, extracting DNA from blood samples, doing some DNA sequencing and analysis, and possibly making some site visits to the active recruitment centers in the future. I'll also be responsible for maintaining the main database, as well as maintaining contact with the recruitment centers and contributing research labs with periodic reports on our progress.

Like I said, I'm a LITTLE terrified about taking on all this responsibility, but I'm also excited to finally have a "big girl" job ;] In my previous research positions, while I've enjoyed the projects I've been given, I haven't truly been challenged. There were times where I had to do some creative troubleshooting and really use my background knowledge to sort out problems with experiments, but I've always felt like I had way too much down-time. While down-time is nice sometimes, too much of it can be de-motivating, and I think that's what has happened to me over the years with research - I just haven't been motivated. I still may find that lab research is not for me in the long run, but I have high hopes that working in a more challenging position with more responsibility and PLENTY to keep me busy will be a much more enjoyable experience. And having the opportunity to continue contributing to CF research is a tremendous blessing - I'm SO thrilled to have found a position like this.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I found out about this position through my friend Liz. She had just graduated from high school this year, and this summer in Dr. Guggino's lab was her first research lab experience. She worked with me all summer and we really had a great time together. Her father, Dr. Garry Cutting, is also a researcher at Hopkins - it's his lab that I'll be working in. This position happened to come up at the same time that I was looking for a job, and he was looking for someone with exactly my qualifications - a strong research background and a medical background, a bachelor's degree but not fresh out of college, and someone who would eventually be moving on to something else. And it happens to be a perfect position from my perspective as well - it's uses my strong research background, keeps me exposed to the clinical side of things, and also gives me the opportunity to explore a side of research (clinical research) that I've never participated in before. I figure while I'm trying to decide what I want to do with my life, I might as well be trying something new! Anyway, talk about something falling straight out of heaven and into your lap... the perfect job, at the perfect time, and working with Liz this summer (before I ever knew I'd be leaving medical school) set me up to find out about the job and have an "in" to interview for it before it was ever posted!

God is good all the time, and all the time GOD IS GOOD!