Every now and then it hits me, just like it did in the very beginning - we're seriously getting married. For real. We're doing this! FINALLY! Not that I really would've had it any other way. I mean, I still feel young anyway, and I'm so glad we went through being away from each other during college. It sucked, but it was great for our relationship - I think we learned a lot. Speaking of learning a lot, our marriage prep class has been AWESOME so far! It's bringing up some topics that we hadn't discussed yet (either because we hadn't thought of them or because we knew they'd be ugly so we avoided them!), which is really helping us to work through some things that may otherwise have become problems. We're learning the well-defined husband and wife roles that God lays out in the Bible, so we're starting out with realistic expectations - I know what's expected of me and what I should expect of him, and vice versa, and we're not just accountable to each other in fulfilling those roles, but to God too. We're just learning so much and uncovering new things - it's been great. We really like the Pastor who is teaching the course, too, so he may end up performing our ceremony for us. I think we'll feel very comfortable and close with him and his wife by the end of the class, and it'll be a much more personal choice for us than the Pastor that we were originally thinking of using (who is also a great guy, we just don't know him all that well). This class just has me so excited for the potential of our marriage. We're starting off from such a wonderful place together, and we're doing all that we can to prepare ourselves to actively work on making our marriage the best it can be for us and for our kids... I just think we have so much going for us and I'm so excited to start it all with him! There will be so many obstacles and stressors and disappointments and arguments, but I think we're off to a great start in preparing for them. It feels so good :)
This week I'm focusing on preparing for the big Hopkins interview on Thursday, and getting the house together for our engagement party on Saturday with our wedding party and close family. It should be a great opportunity for everyone to meet each other and hopefully to make the wedding activities SLIGHTLY less awkward ;) It's always strange to walk down the aisle with someone you just met the night before at the rehearsal! Ben and I are going through old pictures and mementos for a collage that we're putting together for the party, and it's so amazing how far we've come! We looked like babies! It was so sweet to look through notes I wrote him and little booklets and things that I made for him - to see all the times that I promised him that I'd love him forever, told him that I couldn't wait to spend my life with him, called him my "hubby"... and now it's all coming true! So to all you pessimists who laughed at us - THE JOKE'S ON YOU!!! HAha gotta love it :)
As for Hopkins... I guess I just want it to be over with. I'm stressed, but not really. I don't know. I feel at peace about it - kinda like whatever happens, happens. I met a kid at my University of Maryland interview (LOVED that place, by the way!) who had an interview at Hopkins, and he said it wasn't bad at all - very conversational, like most of them have been for me - so that's encouraging. I've just been doing my research on the school, writing out my responses to common questions so that I have something to get me started (besides "um"), and trying to relax about it. I'm so glad that I loved Maryland, because it takes some of the pressure off of this Hopkins interview. I was so afraid that I'd hate UMD and then be left with either getting into Hopkins or being forced to leave Baltimore - neither of which would be easy! At least now I know that there's a place other than Hopkins where I can get the whole package, including the closeness to family :) I'm just going into it with all the confidence I can muster, and with the attitude that this is my opportunity to see if Hopkins is for me or not. Maybe it isn't. Most of the people I work with are telling me "If you get into Hopkins, you go. You have to." But I'm a little concerned that the environment is going to be too intense and competitive, and I don't want any unnecessary additional stress in my life! I'll have the same degree no matter where I go, and Maryland is the better place to do my residency anyway (I'm interested in Emergency, which UMD excels at between its ER and Shock Trauma) so it's not like I need to go to Hopkins because I want to get into a Hopkins residency. I've actually heard some negative things about their Emergency program. But anyway, if I get in that's awesome, if I don't then it just means that it's not the place where God wants me to be, which means I'd be happier elsewhere. It'll all be fine :)
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