I'm EXCITED.

I'd just like to take a moment to reflect on how freaking EXCITED I am. I am getting married in 98 days. MARRIED. To the love of my life. I get to have parties thrown in my honor, wear a gorgeous dress and have everyone "ooo" and "ahh" over me, and go on a sweet week-long vacation, and move in with my love, and never go to bed without him again! That's A LOT of excitement to cram into 98 days. And I am most definitely one of those people who has been very anxiously looking forward to wedding planning for a LONG time, so this whole thing is just incredibly surreal and fun and exciting for me. The stress of it really doesn't bother me - I'd never trade it for anything else! I comment on things getting crazy or whatever, but the truth is, I LOVE IT! I'm SO anxious for my wedding day, but I'll be so sad to let go of this time in my life. I'm not only closing a big chapter in terms of moving out of my parents' house and literally joining my life to someone else's, but I'm leaving behind a lifetime's-worth of anticipation for this day. After May 29th, it'll all be over. I'll never look forward to planning a wedding again. That's a good thing, but it's a bit of a bitter-sweet reality for me. I'm really trying to savor this experience, whatever it throws at me.

I will say though, that in these 7 months, I've done more spiritual growing than ever before in my life. When you really take marriage seriously, it's a sobering, humbling experience. I think about the blessing that God has given me, not only in Ben himself but in his entire family. I think about the immense responsibility of being a spouse - holding another person's life in your hands, and being jointly responsible for what comes of it. Of being that person's ONLY love, forever. Of being the person that this person will lean on, rely on, cry on, laugh with... It's just the two of us, from now on. Of course we have family and friends that we will always be very close with, but there will always be something completely different between the two of us that no one else knows or understands. I think about the gifts that God gives us through marriage - the endless opportunities to grow spiritually and become more like Christ through learning to serve your spouse and truly put their needs before yours, the gift of literally participating in the divine act of creation through having children, the gift of lifelong comfort and partnership and reassurance, and even the gifts He gives us in the bedroom, when we're expressing physical love in the way that God intended it... all these things He gives us because He is good and because He loves us and wants to see us happy and see us grow. What a wonderful God we serve.

And here I am, at 22, so blessed to have found this wonderful guy at the tender age of 13, standing on the brink of all of this wonderful-ness. I really can't express the kind of gratitude I have toward God for all of this. Ben is just one of the most unique people I've ever known. Everyone who knows him knows that there's just something about him that draws you in. I've known approximately 2 people in the entire history of our relationship that dealt with Ben on a daily basis and didn't like him, for whatever reason. I don't even know what it is. Sometimes Em and I look at each other when he's up to some sort of shenanigans and she asks me what the heck I'm doing with this guy... And really, it's hard to put my finger on what it is that "sold" me on Ben. He's like no other person on this planet, simply put. I can list reasons why I love him, but that wouldn't quite explain why I'm marrying him. It's a mystery :) LOL. Seriously though, he's just one of those people who, once you have him in your life, you can't imagine a day without him. He just makes everything better. He makes warmth a little warmer, light a little brighter, colors a little more vivid, laughter a little louder... corny as it sounds, that's the only way I can think of to describe what makes him so amazing to me. Life is just better when he's in the room. And I know I'm not the only one who thinks so (and I'm not just thinking of his mom). It's getting late, and I should be getting to bed. Tomorrow is FRIDAY, thank God, and I have a nice movie evening planned with my sweetie :) I love looking forward to those simple pleasures in life! That's what finding the right person does to you. I'll leave you with an old-school photo of Ben and I... I'm going to estimate that we're probably 17 and 15 in this one :) He'd kill me if he knew I was posting it, I'm sure :) Not that I look hot in it! HA!