Friday, February 20, 2009
Smoked.
Well, our evening is smoked. I'm a little frustrated. Ben went up to his dad's to "help him with a few things around the apartment" this evening around 6:30, despite the fact that Amberly had already visited Frank today and taken him grocery shopping - a several hour visit. But ok, whatever, I'm thinking maybe he needed Ben to move some big things that Amberly couldn't move or something. It's after 10:00, and I'm still waiting for him to get home. Apparently his dad had him rearranging all sorts of little things, checking to see what kind of batteries his phone uses, shifting his matress... all sorts of random crap. I don't begrudge Ben going to help his dad. I really don't. But we haven't even eaten dinner yet. We had a movie night planned. I'm just frustrated. First of all, Ben has a hard time saying no to ANYONE, much less his physically handicapped father. At some point in all these shenanigans, I just wish he could've said "Dad, I'm going to be back here on Sunday. Why don't we call it quits for tonight so I can go eat some dinner and we'll take care of the rest on Sunday." He just can't do it. I'm praying and praying and praying, ALL the time, for God to grant me the patience to deal with all these little irritations, and the heart of a servant to willingly go the extra mile for Frank, and in a supporting role for Ben. I want to be caring and considerate, but I'm a work in progress - God isn't finished with me yet.
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You're your toughest critic hun. You are wonderful and that you want to be patient and understanding is more than many could give. It IS hard to deal with and it's okay to feel the way you do, it doesn't make you a bad person in the slightest. Ben sounds like a very very good and honorable man, you got yourself quite the catch ;0) This time of neediness will pass, maybe despite what I've heard of Frank being a shut in, he's really truly lonely...or he just likes to feel in charge LOL I don't know just throwing ideas around ;0) Hope you get dinner and a movie night tonight! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteDear Jen... I share a lot of your frustrations as well when it comes to having patience with Dad. I have to CONSISTENTLY tell myself that Im doing the right thing even if its not what I want to do at the time and I have a million other things waiting for me at home. In the long run, when Dad is no longer around, I know in my heart I will NEVER regret the time I spent with him and extra mile I went to help him. What I WILL regret is what i DIDNT do that I knew I should and could have. So in effort to have no regrets I do as much as I can within reason. Its maybe a lil harder for you to see this perspective cause its not your Dad so you dont feel the same connection to him. Or maybe you do understand it the same way. Either way... I think we're all feeling what you're feeling... and its just a matter of putting it in perspective even when its plucking at your last nerve. While it does sometimes mess up plans and take away from your time with Ben ... (and Chris and I have had the same issues) just try to remember that in this life, at this point, your time with Ben will FAR surpass our Dads time with him - for obvious reasons. Well anyways, I could go on forever about this situation and trying to rationalize it all ... but Im done for now. Please dont take this as me lecturing you or anything, Im just trying to throw in another perspective and share with you the fact that we're all dealing with those same frustrations. LOVE YA SISTA! :) Hang in there and when the going gets tough, we always have each other!
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