Nora's Birth

April 23rd, 2015 was a gorgeous, sunny day... but let's face it - the weather didn't make much difference to us. It was the day that we would finally meet our sweet baby girl. Ten months and two days after we buried our first-born daughter Grace Adalyn, we were on our way to the hospital to welcome her little sister, Nora Grace. Of course, as we turned off of the beltway onto our exit Gracie's song came on the radio, and of course, and I cried. I cried because I missed her, and because I couldn't wait to meet her sister, and because I felt a touch of guilt over that, and because those emotions were just overwhelming.

We arrived and checked in and were escorted back to our pre-op room by a nurse who explained that she was just getting things started for the nurse who would be taking care of us. At some point along the way we heard her mention the new nurse's name: Kayla. Ben's ears perked up and he asked if there was more than one Kayla, to which she replied "no", and we knew that it was our Kayla - one of the two nurses who cared for us during our hospital stay with Gracie. Someone who had met our girl, who had helped us through the most difficult day of our lives, who understood the extra gravity of what was about to happen today. We couldn't believe it. As soon as she entered the room she recognized us and her face lit up! She quickly made arrangements to stay with us through the operation and post-op recovery. As if this day wasn't already going to be incredible, having her there just made our day. I can't even begin to tell you what it meant to us.

After about 2 1/2 hours of IV fluids, consent forms and the Golf Channel, it was time to go. I was relaxed, excited, and so blissfully happy. After our traumatic debacle with Eli and Gracie's stillbirth, I had yet to experience such pleasantness surrounding the birth of a child! The spinal anesthesia went smoothly and quickly, and within a few minutes I was prepped for surgery and chatting with my scrubbed-and-gowned doctor as she made the first incision.

In the span of about 5 minutes, she had exposed my uterus and was maneuvering our baby out into the world. I felt nothing - no pain, not even the slightest discomfort. I found myself laying there just waiting to suddenly feel the sharp, burning pain that I felt through most of Eli's birth, but it never came! My (super-awesome) anesthesiologist set up a mirror so that I could watch the birth. As soon as her little head popped up through the incision our little Nora Grace let out an ear-piercing shriek, and she had arrived!

 These photos taken by Nurse Kayla!

They repositioned my mirror so that I could see her in the corner of the room on the warmer as they cleaned and assessed her. The mood in the OR was so light and joyful; so much laughter and smiling! As I laid there listening to my doctors casually chatting back and forth and watching in the mirror as my husband snapped photo after photo of our new baby girl, it hit me: THIS is how a birth is supposed to be. I'm sure that seems obvious to the rest of the world, but for me, it had never felt this way. I had never been so worry-free and purely happy as my child entered the world.

 

No more than two minutes after Ben had brought her over to me for her first kisses from mommy, my doctor had finished closing and was ready to transfer me to the recovery room. She wasn't kidding when she told me (and Kayla confirmed) that she's fast. In the recovery room Ben immediately passed her over to me and she wasted no time in seeking out her food source - she latched on with little assistance and nursed for the first time.

We had some skin-to-skin time, but it wasn't long before nausea and vomiting forced me to hand her over to daddy. Apparently IV dilaudid is a little too much for me! Vomiting after abdominal surgery isn't terribly pleasant, but it got me a few lovely shots of Ben and his baby girl...

We spent some extra time in recovery while I got over the nausea, but before we left, we snapped a photo with our angel nurse...

 ...And then it was time to head to our room on the Mother Baby Unit, and welcome the onslaught of visitors...

 ...the highlight, of course, being Eli's visit...

He was so terribly excited! That was quite possibly the moment that I had been most looking forward to. He was so sweet when Gracie was born - so excited to meet her and so proud of her. He still talks about her and lists her among his family members. I have always felt like he had something stolen from him when we lost her. He was so sensitive about it all, and he has said and done so many little things that have given me a window into the sadness that he felt, in his own way. Introducing him to another baby sister - one that we would be able to bring home and that he would grow up with - was so very meaningful for us. There just aren't any words.

So, that's the story of how our family grew to 5. This first family photo was impossible - I looked like crap, we couldn't get Eli to look at the camera and smile, and we forgot to include the little lamb that holds Gracie's heartbeat recording. But, this is real life. This was us on April 23rd, 2015. It hasn't gotten much better since then - we're still a mess! - but a beautiful mess.