What a sweet, wonderful man I have. I'll admit I was a little annoyed when he texted me yesterday at 5:39 telling me he had just walked in the door and was going to take a shower and come over, and I didn't see his face til nearly 7:30. Really, though, it's what he does, and I've come to expect it. He's slow. He gets it from his entire family - he can't help it. But I suspected that he was probably out combing through birthday cards to find the perfect one (or two, as it turned out). While he doesn't plan far enough in advance to buy a card before the day-of, he is very thoughtful in picking them out. I know this about him, and so I don't let the last-minute purchase bother me - it's what he does with everything, and it doesn't mean that he doesn't care. If he didn't care he'd run in, grab the first decent card he picked up, and run out. It actually means more to me that he was late because he spent so much time picking them out and writing wonderful notes in them about how excited he is about our life together. He knows I get irritated when he's late, but finding a meaningful card, to him, was worth pissing me off a little, which is actually sweet in a very backward, twisted way :) Sometimes the thoughtfulness of your significant other is obvious, sitting there on the surface and readily recognizable. Sometimes it's hidden, and if you're not careful you'll miss it or mistake it for something else. I'm glad we've had so much time to get to know each other so well, so that we can find those little things in each other :)
So anyway, when he finally did arrive, he had a dozen of the most beautiful red roses I think I've ever seen - they really were amazingly perfect - his two cards, and my birthday gifts. Dior J'Adore perfume, and a pair of GORGEOUS CZ drop earrings that I really wanted for the wedding but couldn't buy for myself. I'm so glad he bought them for me - it'll be that much more special to wear them on my wedding day :)
One of my cards was a "wife" card, and it was actually a perfect description of our relationship so far, even though we're not quite "there" yet. He said that there was another guy in the store with his little boy looking at birthday cards, who he eventually started talking to, and who told him it was his wife's birthday. Ben said "yeah, today is my wife's birthday too." When he told me that story, it wasn't like he said it because we're almost there so he just said "wife" for the hell of it, he told me the story as if it was something special that happened to him - like he had just really enjoyed the experience of referring to me as his wife, and this was the first time he had said to to someone and had it actually mean something (he and his immediate family have referred to me as "the wife" for several years now). Anyway, it warmed my heart a little, I'm not gonna lie :)
I know he's happy to be marrying me, but I love seeing little glimpses of the deeper meaning and the true excitement he feels. That more mature side of him that realizes the gravity of all this, that sees how important and how real it is. I think that our marriage class is really doing a number on him - it really has him thinking about this on a deeper level. It's doing the same thing to me. As if we weren't already deeply connected and committed to each other, this class is really helping us to take it to another level entirely. It's making us discuss and decide and learn and commit on all sorts of things, the most important of which being the quality and finality of our marriage. That we're both committed to more than a mediocre, functioning marriage - we're committed to an excellent one, and all the hard work it will require, every day of our lives. That we're both committed for life, with no exceptions at all, no matter what. Like, SERIOUSLY, no matter what. No matter what comes up, no matter how badly we might hurt one another, no matter how stressful life might get, no matter how convinced we might become one day that we made a mistake - God brought us here, and God does NOT want us to divorce, so God will always make a way for us if we'll let Him in. That's the bottom line, scary as it may seem and crazy as it may sound to other people. We've had the conversation, and that's what we've come to. And so, with that, I think I'll hereby remove the "D" word from my vocabulary.
So I think that concludes my mushy streak for today. I'm leaving for New York City this afternoon for my Mount Sinai and Columbia interviews (tomorrow and Friday), so I won't get to see Ben til Friday evening :'( I think that's part of my mushiness problem. We watched P.S. I Love You last night (I got to make him and my dad watch a chick flick since it was my birthday) and I listened to the soundtrack on the way in to work today, so I've just been in mushy-mode the entire day, being sad for myself and thinking about him. I listen to his heavy metal music when I miss him - is that weird? Either that or sappy love songs - the complete opposite, but they both help in their own way. One reminds me of him, and one reminds me of how wonderful love is and how lucky I am. There I go, swerving back into the mushiness! So anyway, my mom and step dad are coming with me to NY because no one wanted me to go alone, and they wanted to sight-see anyway (they both love NY). My mom is taking us out for dinner up there, since we both share the same birthday and haven't gotten to celebrate together yet. I should've bargained for a birthday shopping trip instead of dinner. Idiot. Oh well, I'm sure dinner will be delicious. Unfortunately my step dad (Tim) is a total meat-and-potatoes type, so we won't get to go anywhere exotic. I bet the sushi in NY is amazing. Hmmph.
It's just about time for me to head home from work to leave for our trip, so catch ya later!
I'll end with a shout-out to my fellow Bonner-phile and birthday buddy (yes, I share my birthday with TWO other people within my family)... HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH!
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